drogon Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 A friend (would I dare say my best friend). Sent me this email today. I consider this a gem about the complexity of having a relationship with a BG. We both agree (yes he knows her and he is a common friend) that she is an exception among prostitutes and that she never lied to anyone. We both have been mongering in Asie for quite some times until he got married and I entered a relationship with a bargirl. I post this not to launch a discussion. Just to enlighten things about how this can sometimes be difficult. Also it can help shred light on how bargirls can work. Please, no flame or any naughty comments, I am not asking for opinions or advices. ------------------------------------------------ ******* hi, Reason we don't have children is exactly that (my wife and I should wait until we first resolve our issues before we have children). Yes she's prepared to work towards making things better. The religion issue can only be resolved if we move to another country, away from her parents. The *** factor: The situation => she wants financial security, you offer to give her this. => she wants a house + condo + stiff bank account, you prepared to give her this => every month she gets her allowance on time. => she wants 200K for her birthday, you promise to deliver. You prepared to spend millions on her, help her get to Europe, ask your family to organise visa. Her excuse => you're emotionally unreliable. => she needs to bed other men so being faithful is out of the question. => she wants to work in bar for 2-3 years. After everything your family has done she decides not to go to Europe. In the mean time you working hard, being faithful while she's living it up on your expense and placing more demands. ******* if you ask me, *** does not want out, she's prepared to go out with other men with or without money, like you said she's already been damaged severely. She wants nice times and she obviously thinks this will last forever. You already spend a fortune on her and now she's keeping you hostage since you promised you'll take care of her. She playing on your kindness and sincerity. This is absolutely irresponsible of her to say the least. She has no idea of the value of money since she never really worked for it. She always had someone bail her out no wonder she loves the bargirl scene so much. So what do you do?? She clearly needs to learn a lesson to return to sanity. The downside is how expensive will the lesson be since I would not like to see her destroyed in the process. Do you cut her off financially and hope she'll come around?? Or will she simply find someone else to support her and take further knocks My advice is still, go ahead with your last and final act (make the offer to her in july), help her until she's 30 pending the outcome in july. Use the time between now and then to reflect and think things through. Weigh the advantages and disadvantages. I will speak to her if I can. She has asked me to leave her alone until she feels better. When she'll feel better I do not know. I will wait untill she speaks to me first since I will give her the time she needs to recover. We can only hope that's its not too late for her yet. ---------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BKKanalist Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 Clearly, she just needs more money! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faustian Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 She does sound highly manipulative, damaged people often are. Drogon, I know you didn't want opinions, but the lady mentioned in this email isn't someone ready for commitment. She's too damaged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTO Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 Funniest post I've read in ages One SERIOUS problem I have is the "White KNights" who save a girl till she's "30" <> I think it's called trophy wife in the west. Fuck - let her go and try and find bloke who will love her and stay with her no matter what her age is - it's more demented stalking behavior to plan to stay with someone once they've reached their use by date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonjon058 Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 Drogon, Why post to a public forum and then tell people you don't want them to give their opinion? Just to "shred" light on this complicated relationship? IMHO, you are the one making it complicated not her. If your post is the type of advice you are getting from your friend (go ahead and say it, best friend) then you really do need opinions and advice from the board members here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavanami Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 Way past the point of diminishing returns...cut your losses and run...IMO (oppps, no opinions...whatever :grin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.. Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 Funniest post I've read in ages One SERIOUS problem I have is the "White KNights" who save a girl till she's "30" <> I think it's called trophy wife in the west. Fuck - let her go and try and find bloke who will love her and stay with her no matter what her age is - it's more demented stalking behavior to plan to stay with someone once they've reached their use by date. D, you're my friend. Walk away now! No more help to her. She made her choice. Tough call on you mentally, but the right one. Cheers, SD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorldFun Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weird Posted May 7, 2008 Report Share Posted May 7, 2008 Please, no flame or any naughty comments, I am not asking for opinions or advices. This is the internet and you made a post, people will comment, hence the reply option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encore Posted May 8, 2008 Report Share Posted May 8, 2008 Drogon, You are trying to be an honorable man and keep your promises. You made a promise, but the situation has changed since then, and you are entitled to withdraw your promise. I've been in that boat, six years ago now, and found it hard to break my promise. I may have told this story before: When my ex-Gf got pregnant (likely by me), the relation had already started slipping away. But I promised that even if I didn't stay together with her, I'd look after the child financially (if it was mine). Three weeks later she was forced to choose between me and another bloke, who she had also known LT. He was prepared to marry her, I wasn't. She chose him, fair enough. Then, when I asked about her plans for the baby, she said she'd give it to her mum to bring up, a greedy lazy woman from isan, who had just sent her other daughter down to BKK to start a career as a sex worker, to take the place of the one who was getting married. I foresaw that my child, especially if it was a girl, would be sent the same way 18 years later. I BROKE MY PROMISE of support for the baby, and suggested she'd have an abortion. Seeing she wouldn't get a penny anymore out of me, she did. I would have been very very sorry if I had not broken my promise. You may not have asked for opinions, but you certainly will receive some. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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