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Here Are Our Limerick Contest Entries


Hugh_Hoy

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Here they are. A total of 26 limericks submitted by 13 contestants ! Good work folks. I knew youâ??d come through. The voting will begin as soon as a voting poll is put up. You may vote for up to 5 entries. Voting will end at 12 noon, BKK time, Sunday, June 15. Results of the voting will not be displayed until after that time. Iâ??m not in charge of the poll, so I will have no better idea of how it is going than any of the rest of you. Thanks to all for your interestâ?¦and good luck to the contestants!

 

 

1.

There was an old man from Chiang Rai

His wife caught him out in a lie

He claimed to be walking

But she heard he was porking

Now he sleeps with the pigs in the sty.

 

 

2.

A young lad went off to Krung Tep

And stumbled upon the first step

He ended up wedded

To the first lass he bedded

No wonder it has a bad rep.

 

 

3.

The petite and charming Thais

Are a most appealing size.

And those who hunt

Young Asian cunt

Will find heaven between their thighs

 

 

4.

A maiden of old Angkor Wat

Was famed for her fabulous twat.

Men fell to their knees

As they begged her to please,

But to sniff it was all that they got.

 

 

5.

An aging old punter named Hugh

Annoyed one and all after a few

The Bargirls all said

We'd rather be dead

So it was a case of no screw for Hugh

 

 

6.

A Tagalog BG names Inez

Was known for demanding such cleaness.

She'd give men a scrub

In a brass bottom tub,

Before sucking their brown Filipenis.

 

 

7.

I once had a girl from Bangkok

Whose tits were as hard as a rock

I wish I had known

Before I got blown

That those tits also came with a cock

 

 

8.

To Bangkok Iâ??ll go on a flight

Getting good sex there is never a fight

Of course I have paid

To get myself laid

I feel it is every manâ??s right

 

 

9.

I once knew a bargirl named Bob

Who loved to suck on my knob

She thought my poor meat

Was an all day sweet treat

That Bob sure made my knob throb

 

 

10.

There was a guy with no arms and no legs,

Who one day was suddenly dead,

off a building he flew,

suicide they claimed too,

with a bag tied over his head.

 

 

11.

There was a cute girl in a bangkok,

Who all the men wanted to fock,

Till she turned around,

What you saw was profound,

Inbetween her legs it was hard as a rock!

 

 

 

12.

An old cnut from Oz, Khun Dumsoda

Met a girl in a Bar, when not sober

She was Perfect 'twas said

and turned many a head

A shame half the world paid and rode her

 

 

13.

A lonely old lady called may

Used to stroll in the park'cross the way.

There she met an old hippie man

Who fucked her and ran-

Now she goes to the park every day.

 

 

14.

CT liked to take the piss

About a bar that couldnâ??t miss

Turned out to be

A delusion by the sea

Nasty stuff, that syphilis

 

 

15.

A worried lad from bangkok

Discovered red marks on his cock

Said the doctor, a cynic

Get out of my clinic

And wipe of the lipstick, you fuck!

 

 

16.

There was a young lad called Roy

Who felt more woman than boy

So a trip to Bangkok

To lop off his cock

And now he's known as Toy

 

 

17.

There once was a Tiger named Dum

Who's balls produced quarts of cum

His girl Vampy said

While cleaning their bed

If one had a cure for that I'd have some

 

 

18.

There was a tall girl from Nong Khai

Who started out life as a guy

Though the doc was successful

Things turned somewhat stressful

When she sneezed and everted her kuay

 

 

19.

â??Sheâ??sâ? trapped inside a he

Uses a dick to take a pee

Should she lick or blow?

It confuses her so!

Feel sorry for khunying SD

 

 

20,

Her beauty evokes oohs and ahhs

But Miss Bangkok is not without flaws

In matters erotical

Be antibiotical

The clap you'll get isn't applause

 

 

21.

Her hair long and skirt extra-mini

The boyfriend was somewhat a ninny

He yelled "You're perverted,

your parts are inverted!"

What used to be out was an innie

 

 

22.

There once was a girl from Bangkok

Who liked to get plenty of cock

With credit cards to pay

She charged for each lay

And now its the punters in hock

 

 

23.

The once was a group of old men

Who wrote on a board and not with a pen

Tales that would shock

Expats from Bangkok

Jakarta, Hanoi and Phnom Penh

 

 

24.

There once was a gut named Old Hippy

Whose posts could get a bit chippy

When the subject was fags

And not Soi 7 hags

Or drinking until you are tipsy

 

 

25.

There once was a chap named Obama

Who some tried to link to Osama

Try as they might

They could not win this fight

And the winner retorted â??Yo Mommaâ?Â

 

[Removed duplicate entry #26 - KS]

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