soongmak Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 "... Life is never about what happens to you, but always about how you react to it..." Another cliche...one I'll disagree with. What happens to you in life often influences how you react to it, and other things that happen to you. Hence, it is about what happens to you, because that may determine how you react to it. Off course what happens to your life influences you, and sometimes in a big, big way. What this saying means is that lots of things that happen to you are beyond your control, so you focus on the things you can do. It serves no purpose to blame the circumstances. The circumstances are just what they are. Blaming the circumstances is what turns you into the victim. "...Ultimately YOU decide what you take from every experience...." I'll rank this cliche up there with "...the only one who can make you feel bad is yourself, you will not feel bad unless you want to..." which is complete bullshit. People can do things to you, and force things/experiences on you you don't want, and thus force you to take something/an experience away that you do not want. The aforementioned cliche blames the victim. There is no blaming of the victim here. What I do say is that in most cases you don't control what is happening to you. If you get in a car accident with a drunk driver and you get paralyzed from the neck down, that can hardly be blamed on the victim. Now if that same guy keeps mourning the loss of his bodily functions and forget to enjoy life any way he can, that is on him. You can dwell on your bad luck, or you can try to adjust. And that is entirely up to you, and not to the circumstances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soongmak Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 Well, you sound very Pollyanna-ish. Money will *always* be a factor in any relationship. We are not in high school here... Marriage is a partnership. Both sides should be able to support themselves, otherwise (IMHO) they are not ready for marriage (or are simply looking for a caretaker). Marriage should make a whole that is better than the sum of its parts, otherwise, it is inadvisable. Yes, practical. But that's life. Unless you are rich, that's reality. Unless you are a dreamer; but all dreamers get awoken at some point. Cheers, SD Off course money is a factor, and will always be. There is no denying that. If you read my post carefully, you will see that I don't know what happens if the shit in my mariage hits the fan. I am not lovey-dovey, I know that love is not enough to make a relationship work. I am not a dreamer. I am a realist, just like you. I only say that the relative importance you place on an aspect of your life, that is exactly how important it will be. If you are obsessed with money, life is all about money. If you're not obsessed with money, it will still be enormously important, but less so. I hope it makes sense to you now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 "...I hope it makes sense to you now..." Ah...eh...no. Apparently, my reality is greatly different than yours. I deal with what is thrown in my face. I don't rely on psycho babble and cliches to get me through it with a casual/easy dismissal, that is too easy of a cope out. My method works for me, as yours apparently does for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTO Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 SD - So only marry those of equal social economic status - sounds very Republican! Call me Polly - but I live to higher ideals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dumsoda Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 555555555555555555 farkkkkkkkkk there must be a BIG earn in Laundries these days.....might just have to move to LOS and open one..... Cheers DC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.. Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 SD - So only marry those of equal social economic status - sounds very Republican! Call me Polly - but I live to higher ideals. No you are putting words into my mouth, but that's OK. I won't freak out like you did . I said you need to marry someone who can also take care of themseves (illegal activities such as selling pussy or drugs do not count). Big difference. Seems to me your marriage fits this model as well. I venture that 99% of the successful ones do. I don't see where common sense like this and Republicans have anything to do with each other, Polly. And yes DS, there's plenty of money in laundry and fashion/jewelry design so as I do not need to take care of her, nor am I wanted to ("I have my own money!" is a frequent comment). Sorry if that spurs some kind of jealousy in you... Cheers, SD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dumsoda Posted July 20, 2008 Report Share Posted July 20, 2008 And yes DS, there's plenty of money in laundry and fashion/jewelry design so as I do not need to take care of her, nor am I wanted to ("I have my own money!" is a frequent comment). Sorry if that spurs some kind of jealousy in you... Cheers, SD Dunno where you came up with the "jealousy" angle Tiger????? ...Sorry to piss on your parade mate, but nothing could be further from the truth. .... Often in life.... perception is NOT reality...... Cheers DS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.. Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 You seem to like making cracks at my personal relationship with my gal; Just trying to figure a reason...what else could it be? Nevermind. Go to the sponsor's forum, look at the Chinese gal's pix I posted there, and have a wank into some bird's handbag 55555555 Cheers, SD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTO Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 SD - agree - in fact the car we drive she bought from her book royalty (Evans Publishing - if they ever farkin send us the copy they mailed a month ago I'd P ya the book title) HOWEVER many in her village are just as marriageable would never do anything illegal (how the fuck do I find the only sub set of buddhist that make baptists look like party animals) yet they as "individuals" would all struggle to survive. Indeed "individuals" in her part of the world can't survive - it needs the collective of the community to survive. That means a marriage neither party is able to contribute enough to the pair to survive. Only by being part of the extended village network of loans support etc do couples survive. Hence - while I spoke in jest the first time calling myself polly - I do still disagree with the fundamental issue that both parties need to be able to be financially independent. Most people in that area as individuals aren't - however there are many jhappy marriages. Finishing on a light note - one lucky bugger has two wives even! Not Mia Noi's but Mia Yai's! Maybe that's the key - 3! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTO Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Republican issue? I believe in the collective over the individual - makes me a commie I know By the way - I happily accept selling pussy as a viable income. I know of one girl who was giving it away getting knocked up and ditched by three different blokes - wise person took her aside and said "You seem happy to give it away and let you children starve - why not sell it at a place I heard of called Nana and give your children a future" Oddly it's worked - kids happier - may not see mum as much. But at least they now have new uniforms - books - and a promise that they'll be able to get to at least grade 10 or 12 instead of just grade 6. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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