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Help with distressing personal situation


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"she went to a Buddhist meditation center for a week and became schizophrenic"

are you sure that she is schizophrenic? I have been through several Vipassana 10 day meditations and they are very intensive. They change your outlook on life.

"Also, she sleeps a great deal." As do a lot of Thai girls.

"Also, she is often non-responsive when I speak to her." As are a lot of Thais when they do not understand what you said.

"she now watches these stupid, annoying Thai soap operas." As does my GF. I pretend to weep when I watch them with her.

"apparently they would each receive over 10,000 baht a month from US Social Security (confirmed by US Embassy but not yet confirmed directly with Social Security)" Are you sure about this? Please give me more information on this; a PM would be OK.

 

This is very brave of you to post this. I came from a very abusive background and that is certainly why I live in Bangkok. I have no children (that I know of) and am glad of that. My life is much better than it was in SoCal; I have a loving gf that is half of my age; Her daughter and adopted son are a source of joy for me (they live with her parents for most of the year and I can give them new experiences like the ocean and horse-back riding). Her family adores me and I like being adored. I have upgraded her farm and village house at a cost of less then $4000 USD and my input certainly changed their lives.

 

I would appreciate a personal message from you.

 

zen

 

 

 

 

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I'm a little concerned about this visiting a monk and becoming schizophrenic

 

"she went to a Buddhist meditation center for a week and became schizophrenic"

 

This is not possible.

 

Physically and medically and certainly psychologically this is impossible.

 

You are either being conned substantially or you missed something previously. Schizophrenia doesn't just appear out of the blue....and more importantly it is highly unlikely in people over 30 (which i presume from the age of her children she is). Most schizophrenia occurs around the late teens and early twenties.

 

Other forms of psychosis can be induced by a variety of factors, such as drugs (drug induced psychosis is well known) or extreme stress, but these are treatable and often short lived.

 

Something is seriously wrong about this diagnosis.

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Btw, schizophrenia is characterised by a slow decline...2 weeks with a monk isn't going to change anyone to such an extent they would require such a serious diagnosis. Totally impossible. She does sound very depressed if anything. Don't trust diagnosis by anyone in Thailand....there are very very few competent practitioners here.

 

Your lady needs to see someone who knows what the fuck they are talking about.

 

You need to take a step back and do not feel blackmailed into anything. Don't repeat your past. Learn and avoid such predicaments in the future.

 

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I'm not so sure, Faustian. I'm close to someone with schizophrenia so I know a bit about it too. It's true that going to a meditation centre is never going to bring on schizophrenia in itself (so that's just coincidence) but she seems to have most of the symptoms down pretty well. And she may be 30+ but the OP hasn't told us how long he's known her. It can come and go in episodes over years. I'd try to find out whether she'd had any episodes before.

 

OP, depends how much you really love her. It's a lifetime illness with no cure. Medications are getting much better and control the illness but, often, if not checked, the patients stop taking them after a while (because they feel better :doah: ) and then they relapse. Those episodes are not fun. And what you're seeing is just the very start. Imagine her becoming a different person with a knife or rampaging down the street shouting, naked. You not being able to sleep at nights. You never know what she's thinking or what's talking to her. Eventually, if it is real, she may have to be committed at some stage for a time. Etc, etc, etc. That could happen every 6-7 years or so. In between, with modern medicine and compliance, she could be OK-ish.

 

But still not fun.

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I lived with a bi-polar woman for 22 years before finally accepting the futility of "helping" her and making her content. Things simply do not get better as they get older; it a downhill road. Modern medicine does help some but proper diagnosis and the difficulty of finding the "right" medication and then the monitoring and adjusting of that medication is daunting.

Another conundrum is that the more "normal" the person begins to feel; the more inclined they are to resent their medications and caregivers for controlling their lives.

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Thanks to everyone for their replies.

 

I will attempt to provide answers to some questions and additional pertinent information.

 

My g/f has had a special interest in Buddhism for many years. As a child, she was sent to a special Buddhist school. She has often spent time at a Wat as a mae chii (nun), few days at a time that is, not months or years. She has actively tried to develop special talents related to Thai/Buddhists beliefs - hearing those who have died, being a maw du (fortunetellers).

 

From others who have spent time at meditation centers, I understand that if you have latent mental health problems emptying your mind during meditation is a good time for them to appear. So, it is not unusual for a latent problem to blossom.

And, considering that she was trying to hear voices (hear from those who are dead and develop maw du talents), it doesn't seem surprising to me.

 

She is 31 years old.

 

Zen seemed to have missed the point or I didn't make it very well. Of course Thai girls like to sleep. But, the amount that she sleeps now is not close to same level as before. Before she was outgoing and quite responsive when I spoke to her. Her non-responsiveness is a big change. I can speak some Thai and she understands me. She can speak some English and I understand her. Actually we communicate in half English, half Thai. That has not changed, it is her personality, responsiveness (being lost in thought or wherever she is that has changed).

 

I have graduate training as a mental health professional but except as an intern, never practiced it. I have been in therapy a number of times. So, I consider myself a fair judge and believe the Thai Psychiatrist is competent and her diagnosis is correct.

 

I have done further investigation into US Social Security and now believe it is highly unlikely her children would receive any benefits if I adopted them. If I were the father (DNA verification), I believe they would be eligible.

 

My g/f and I have been together 18 months. I loved the person she was. Now, for brief periods of time, a couple of hours (not every day), she is herself and I feel the same. But, for 90% of the time, she is a different person.

 

She never, never watched Thai TV programs or movies. Now, having correctly I believe, withdrawn herself from her pre-occupation with Buddhism, she spends a lot of time doing this.

 

I have researched Schizophrenia and it is a life long condition. As someone else mentioned, problems along the way, like discontinuing taking the medication, are likely.

 

Without the potential for her children to receive the US Social Security benefits (now 99% sure and will make this 100%), I will not marry her.

 

Please consider this additional information and please make further comments/observations/suggestions. Thanks again.

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I just wanted that the impetus for seeing the Psychiatrist was my g/f totally flipped out for a period of about 2 hours. She exhibited bizarre behavior several times during this period. One incident will make the point: she looked me right in the eye and said Buddha was sending her on a mission and she would see me in 4 years.

 

When the bizarre behavior ended after 2 hours, she was perfectly aware of what had happened and refers to her behavior during that time as "crazy".

 

Subsequently, we saw the Psychiatrist who explained to me that my g/f had begun to hear several voices during her time at the meditation center. The Psychiatrist also cautioned me that she might never be the same again.

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