Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Redbaron

Access to kids after divorce?

Recommended Posts

She's not moving to another judicial district, the court we go through is a federal one, only way she could do that is move overseas which she can't do with the lad. We are planning on handing the lad over at police stations if we have to, but hopefully any other public place will be ok. Unfortunately if she denies me the right she's agreed to as far as seeing him goes, all I can do is take her to court (big $$$ for me) and they rarely appoint these costs against the mother. They simply get told to do it.. happens again and I can involve DHS who can be painful to deal with. I do a bit of this at work and they are extremely understaffed for all the things they try to do.

 

Yep, documenting absolutely everything, phone calls, SMS (not any more!) and keeping all emails.. ammunition for when we finally do end up in court.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Doesn't this women realise the negative and hurtful impact this must be having on your son???

 

So fucking selfish!!! I really hope it all gets better sooner rather than later, Red - for your sake, but mostly for the poor little fellah.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

IME, women do not care about this. Just them. The "care about family" thing is just BS. Only if it benefits them...

 

Cheers,

SD

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yep, I think the lad is starting to struggle. She has admitted to telling him not to call me Dad anymore (he's 2 1/2 and still does call me dad or daddy), but usually when I have him to convince him to get in the car when it's time to go home I say, "Jump in the car, go and see mum." and he does, and is happy about it. This weekend I told him same and he said he didn't want to, wanted to stay with me and the GL. Up until now he has been (seemed) extremely close with his mother which is good, but last time didn't want to go home.

 

The ex is using everything (including the boy) as leverage to get what she wants. Last nights text message (via my sister), was more of the same.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Redbaron,

 

you left your son with his mother. Every day that goes by diminishes your chances of getting full costody or see your son as often as you like.

Imagine after half a year the family court finally goes to sit over your case. Also present will be your son who spent these six month living with his mother (and seeing you on occasions). Your son looks healthy, happy (he got a new toy just that morning) and clean with fresh clothes on. The case is decided the moment the judge sees this picture. From there all claims you'll present will not change much. Best you can get visiting rights which she'll honor (if she has a date and needs a babysitter).

 

As my lawyer (female, btw) told me: 'don't wait, create facts'. Worked for me.

 

 

Good luck

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree with you carlton, and have been told same by my lawyer. 2 year wait here for family courts.

 

I am happy for him to live with his mother, as long as he is looked after well, and wants to live there. I am not after a lot, just every second weekend, or something like that to spend a bit of time with my son, and for him to see my side of his family (he is the only grandchild, and up to a few months ago he was the only great-grandchild on both sides of my family). I have always paid more than I've been obliged to pay her, and left her with all the assets apart from my 6 yo car, golf sticks at $20 in my wallet. Until Tuesday (30th June) nothing was agreed to on paper for my visiting rights, and I got to see him whenever she decided it was ok - which was when she wanted a babysitter.

She's still not happy (never will be IMO).. Doesn't want me to see him at all, wants to change his name, talking about taking him overseas... just being a bitch IMO and creating leverage.

 

Now she wants to withdraw the divorce application we lodged Tuesday..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't know if you have something like the youth welfare office. It might be good to drag them into this so they'll convince your ex to agree to regular visits (if that's what you want).

Actually youth welfare office are usually women who'll side with your ex and tell you that you'll have to do 'what's best for the kid'. But they are trained like a pavlovs dog and 'regular visits' is something they just have to agree with.

Maybe better when your ex won't take your son to China. Who knows if he'll ever return.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yep, DHS is that down here Dept Human Services. I work with them a lot at work, and while they do a fantastic job, they are massively understaffed.

When I'm back on day shift I'll ask them what my options are, but at the moment the ex hasn't stopped me seeing my son, only threatened to when I don't buckle to her every demand. The court order doesn't come into play until Aug 24 (one month after it's heard), there hasn't been anything on paper for the past 18 months, we've simply winged it. I've tried but she simply refuses to sign stuff even when I advise her just to look at it with her lawyer if she wants. She just takes it and bins it. I do have certificates to say I've attempted mediation which in theory means she'll get lumbered with court costs as she refused mediation.

 

Next step if she doesn't comply with this (Federal Magistrates) court order is Family Court which is a 2 year wait...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just read all this

 

Good Luck Red....it's a shit fight every time..

 

Been there...done that....But HAVEN'T got the T shirt....cos the cnuts took that as well...lol

 

best wishes to you for the best possible outcome

 

Cheers DS

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hardest thing I ever did was let my 1st wife take #1 daughter away with her overseas. The rationale was that if Wife was happy, Daughter would have better life. vs unhappy Wife = unhappy Daughter.

 

Daughter grew up, happy, loves me. Wife dead, good riddance.

 

Coss

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...