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Are you too finding it hard to connect?


doxx

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I am often finding it hard to connect and find commonalities with Thais. That is to say, finding it difficult to find something to build friendship and relationships on.

 

In getting to know a person (or even before: when determining whether you want to get to know a person), you want to find out what that person is about -things like interests or things that this person is passionate about.

 

I am finding that with Thais, there isn't much there. It appears to me, that regardless of social standing (from masseuse or bar girl, to highly educated professional in the upper middle class), there isn't much there beyond what they do for work. There's little or no travel, no sports, no literature, culture etcetera. No nothing.

 

Do you find it so as well and if so, how do you connect with these people? It cant just be around both of you liking Som Tam or watching V4 on Fantasia, can it!?

 

I'm reluctantly starting to view Thailand from context of Maslow's ladder with Thais still trying to secure the basic needs and therefore not being able to really enjoy life or do self realisation: I go sport fishing for fun, a Thai goes fishing for food.

 

This said, I suspect upper class Thais live very passionate life's at the top of that Maslow ladder :)

 

 

 

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I am often finding it hard to connect and find commonalities with Thais.

 

...things like interests or things that this person is passionate about.

 

I am finding that with Thais, there isn't much there. It appears to me, that regardless of social standing (from masseuse or bar girl, to highly educated professional in the upper middle class), there isn't much there beyond what they do for work. There's little or no travel, no sports, no literature, culture etcetera. No nothing.

I'm reluctantly starting to view Thailand from context of Maslow's ladder with Thais still trying to secure the basic needs and therefore not being able to really enjoy life or do self realisation: I go sport fishing for fun, a Thai goes fishing for food.

 

This said, I suspect upper class Thais live very passionate life's at the top of that Maslow ladder :)

 

Doxx...You have raised a very interesting subject.

 

My input is all just opinion based on observation rather than research and a lot of it could be off. But..

 

I think each of our experiences will vary because of the Thai people we know. I have been visiting LOS for 10 yrs, but have had almost no encounters with the middle or upper class or any "sophisticated" people whatsoever. I don't work in LOS and I stay out of BKK. My preference throughout my life is the lower-middle and lower class, which reflects my immigrant, salt-of-the-earth, family background. It's not just that I feel comfortable with such people, it's that I lose interest entirely when middle/upper-class people start talking about their favorite wines, restaurants, resorts, etc. In Thailand, I enjoy the simple Issan people the most.

 

But in general there is a lot lacking in terms of culture. Look at the shallowness of the tourist destinations. So much is just cheap commercialism.

 

I don't know everything, but I have been around the country. The "National Parks," if you can call them that, the ones that I've seen, completely lack facilities that show respect for nature and the environment. They are wholly unsophisticated compared to sites in true "first world" countries. Nature and wilderness are not lauded, I think because there is little opportunity for commercial exploitation, that is, if you can't sell anything, who cares? Support of nature and the environment has little commercial value. It is not supported for its intrinsic esthetic value. And there we are back to the Maslow scale.

 

It seems like the biggest draw for internal tourism for Thai travelers at the higher end of the scale are temples and religious sites. That's okay, they certainly are worthy in their own right, but really, once you've seen 10 of them, you've seen enough, haven't you? That's cultural bias, perhaps, but I don't think that even middle / upper class Thai's travel enough to know what he world offers, and therefore what Thailand could offer.

 

Religious topics are also the core of good cultural art. Western society started there too, but advanced way, way beyond it. Not to say that there aren't good painters, sculptors and other artists in Thailand. There is beautiful work done.

 

But the huge number of copyists really illustrate what I think is your point. Art, which should be at the very top of the Maslow scale, is demeaned by being made into manual labor. It becomes another cheap product to be sold to foreign tourists, while the originals that are copied are beyond the appreciation of Thai people in general and even of limited interest to the people who copy them. So few have traveled to see the great museums of the world. I suspect that those who travel outside the country head for the resorts - for the creature comforts and associated bragging rights.

 

I should talk to my Thai dentist some more. She travels internationally, but to budget destinations like Romania and those countries around Russia with unpronounceable names. I think it's for a get-away, R&R and to experience some different scenery and weather.

 

I have a question about the "upper" class Thai's. Their taste in food would be revealing. Are they beyond pepper, pepper, and only pepper as the only spice? The food I encounter, which is to say "avoid," is so one dimensional and, excuse me for saying so, awful. There is a rich world of cuisine in BKK, but do any Thai people seek it out without being led by a farang?

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I am often finding it hard to connect and find commonalities with Thais. That is to say, finding it difficult to find something to build friendship and relationships on.

 

In getting to know a person (or even before: when determining whether you want to get to know a person), you want to find out what that person is about -things like interests or things that this person is passionate about.

 

I am finding that with Thais, there isn't much there. It appears to me, that regardless of social standing (from masseuse or bar girl, to highly educated professional in the upper middle class), there isn't much there beyond what they do for work. There's little or no travel, no sports, no literature, culture etcetera. No nothing.

 

Do you find it so as well and if so, how do you connect with these people? It cant just be around both of you liking Som Tam or watching V4 on Fantasia, can it!?

 

I'm reluctantly starting to view Thailand from context of Maslow's ladder with Thais still trying to secure the basic needs and therefore not being able to really enjoy life or do self realisation: I go sport fishing for fun, a Thai goes fishing for food.

 

This said, I suspect upper class Thais live very passionate life's at the top of that Maslow ladder :)

 

 

 

 

 

Probably part of what you are feeling is "A lot of Thais don't really like us.:

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Interesting concept.

 

I wonder what Thailand would be like if no Westerners/Foreigners visited Thailand.

 

Most of SE Asia was colonialized - so some Western concepts were introduced. Are these concepts good or bad?

 

Tourists bring in money to Thailand. This creates jobs. The US military influence was intense in the 1960's - good or bad?

 

What countries have not been influenced by colonialization? If not colonialization, then foreign tourists? What do they look like today?

 

What about foreign investment in Thailand? Good or bad?

 

Would Thailand have modernized without we/us?

 

Would Thailand look like a straw roofed homes - with just farming and fishing villages? Better or worse?

 

 

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I have met a few middle class thais that spend a lot of their time in temples, I assumed they did that because they were past middle age and were preparing themselves for the afterlife.

 

I have also socialized with younger thais and find that their interests are mostly to impress others with the amount of wealth they can show off or spend. I have actually got a thai girl to admit that she really didn't really care for a pair of shoes but she had to buy it because it was so expensive.

 

So its either meeting their basic needs or showing off, the two extremes.

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Nice thread.

 

I just wonder whether most Thais WANT to better themselves. I'm not talking about the silly trappings of consumerism but do they want to challenge themselves intellectually ? IME, No!

 

The Thais I know seem content in their small little world. Ask any of them about their history and they will struggle to give you a answer and I am talking about Thais with degress, not your average bargirl.

 

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Compare to what goes on in your own country.

 

If I am in the USA (my hme country) will I socialize with the people from other countries? Will I socialize with the Thais that are here in the USA, most likely not as we have very little in common; different culture, education, values, etc.

 

So when we go to Thailand, same-same,IMO.

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Compare to what goes on in your own country.

 

If I am in the USA (my hme country) will I socialize with the people from other countries? Will I socialize with the Thais that are here in the USA, most likely not as we have very little in common; different culture, education, values, etc.

 

So when we go to Thailand, same-same,IMO.

 

Cavanami, you missed my point. Take the farang out of the picture for a second: what would these Thais engage in on their spare time?

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You want blatant cheap commercialism then go to America that place is terrible.

 

I'm finding it hard to connect with a lot of females in Australia. There doesn't seem to be anything going on with them either. I find men far more interesting and insightful and adventurous than any woman I've ever met.

 

It's a pity I'm not gay although gay men are possibly even more shallow than women.

 

I know what you're saying but I happen to think that its more male v female than a cultural thing.

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