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The_Munchmaster

Handshake or Hug?

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?

Got to admit, if I was reunited with the old London Contingent there'd be hugs all round... and maybe the odd tongue-in-cheek kiss xx

 

Oooh! Can't wait! I will be face down in the ash-tray at Pooks, Soi Yodsak.

 

Now, this handshaking business. There's a time and a place for it; first meetings; formal meetings; long absences from that person; family funerals with dodgy male in-laws and so on...

 

Amongst friends that you saw last night for a few beers? Oh, do stop it!

 

See, every couple of weeks I crawl out from under my pile of cardboard boxes and go for a drink by the seaside. It's a special treat. Some of you may be familiar with the 'hail fellow well met' ex-pats who inhabit bars all across this fair land. They love to shake hands. This is because they are not my friends.

 

My friends (I have at least 2 but one of those is a fish) don't offer their sweaty, piss-stained paws for me to touch. They say, "Awright" or if American, "Hey!'

 

Then I drink my Lao Kao in peace. Okay?

 

MASSIVE PET HATE: Fucking 'clinking' bottles and saying "Cheers!" Fuck off with that shite, will ya?

 

1.I'm always worried that the bottle will break.

 

2.I don't like the noise.

 

3.I will take a swig when I fucking want to, not when you deem it fit and appropriate. Okay?

 

Don't get me started on ringing the fucking bell...what's going on there? Campanology? Go back to Notre Dame. Esmarelda needs a seeing to.

 

Aaaaaaargh!

 

 

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here at gollywog central we have a morning ritual where all 40 people in the office who just saw each other yesterday have to yell and shout and give a big double handed handshake to everyone while asking how is the family, the wife, the cat, the car in 3 different languages. it goes on and on. Many of the chaps have very wet slimey hands due to the fact they rarely shower. i know ist culture but after 18 months I fucking hate it. Especailly at 7am when my head still hurts form a big night drinking beer in the local knock shop.

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