Will she go or will she stay?

[carlton68]

fool,

 

it might first hurt a bit but why don't you go the way of the thai boyfriend leechers? Once you take your cut of her earnings it doesn't hurt as much when she meets others :evil:

 

Ok, I understand that is not the way you want to go. Then you're fucked either way.

[fool]

I think this might have it. Next time we are together, big assumption right now but we'll let that pass, I think I have to turn on the 'I'm a customer' bit and get some expansion from her side. I really would like to know what she wants, heck I might even be able to provide it. Really it's all in the understanding of her picture.

 

Actually I think I'm at about 75% of the sponsorship budget not 33%. I don't think one is sending anything right now and the other just a token amount. They're obviosly smarter than me!

[preahko]

Ok. Well my user name sort of says it all I guess so don’t bother with the obvious.

 

I have a thing going with a Thai Miss who worked ago-go but no longer does, pretty much thanks to me. She still has two other guys she talks to and I know she has plans to see both of them in due course. The thing is, whilst I don’t really want this to happen if I broach the subject I have the feeling I’ll come off worst. Really I don’t want to lose her and though I don’t need this extra baggage, having her walk off in a huff would not leave me satisfied. What to do?

 

So what’s the deal? If I come clean with all the info I have on her and her activities will she walk off in a huff or will she recognize that I still need to be maintained? What are my chances to turn her from the dark side? Has anybody here ever done that? Or has everyone only ever given up and gone in search of a ‘different’ one?

 

Yeah yeah I’m a pussy, but come on, help me out here, just feeling a tad low today ok.

 

It's been said before but it deserves to be said again, and with total sincerity: "you never lose your girl in Thailand, just your turn".

 

Look, even if you are sending her 100,000 thousand baht per month and going through the common fiction that she's "no longer working in the bar," it's ultimately bullshit...even if she doesn't technically work in a bar anymore, she WILL continue to fuck other farangs for money.

 

If you're not okay with that, in the future you should probably try to find your girlfriends in places besides hooker bars.

 

They are all the same...recognizing that and learning to roll with it is the key to happiness in interactions with Thai BGs.

 

[radioman]

They are all the same...recognizing that and learning to roll with it is the key to happiness in interactions with Thai BGs.

 

 

I agree, to a point. I think that is exactly where this one is right now, but in the future...?

 

What I am interested in and what seems to be lacking here is the mindset of how to change her perception of how it should be and how it can be.

 

C'mon guys! What do I have to do to get her to recognise that 'I' am her saviour with all that is necessary to provide for her and that she she should truly forsake all others (to paraphrase some western religious bullcrap).

 

Cent said it good that I need her more than she needs me, now how to I turn the tables?

 

 

 

[The_Munchmaster]

I'm not suggesting you up the ante to 100% because you might still wind up back at 33% (sponsorship $ has no limits!).

If you did up the ante to 100% you'd still only have 60%.

[USVirgin]

I think this might have it. Next time we are together, big assumption right now but we'll let that pass, I think I have to turn on the 'I'm a customer' bit and get some expansion from her side.

 

No, don't TURN ON the I'm a customer bit, BE a customer, which is what you are. I know this sounds like self-help bullshit, but until that sinks in to your brain, she can see right through you.

 

No need to announce your new status...just morph that way over time. If she really likes you, you'll become more of a friend and confidant than a customer. That strategy doesn't work well in the West, but it works just fine with a bargirl when financial security is high on her list of priorities. If you two are being honest with each other, at the very least she'll provide you with a more enjoyable time during the hours she spends with you. She already knows you. No games. It's better that way, IMO.

 

PS. I'm no expert on money matters, but I think the financial pipeline should be slowly squeezed during the above process, if not abruptly shut down. Up to you.

[USVirgin]

Mathematical barsteward, please explain.

 

100% is 100%, even if the amount is variable.

 

 

[elroy]

Dear Mr. Fool,

 

Falling for someone who is willing to sell themselves to the highest bidder will certainly end in heart break for you. And you actually pay for the heart break. How twisted is that? You've got the best advice possible from all the replies. Ignore the advice at your own peril.

 

The idea of paying someone to be "yours" does not work in some cases. I've been with several different girls who were on the phone with their sponsor when I'd slip my willy in for a laugh. They get a kick out of it too. And because they have a good income, they don't want money from me. Mmm. Maybe I should just shut up so I don't ruin a good thing.

[Encore]

Two options; Come here, marry her and take her away, or put up with being one of her many customers.

 

No in between solutions.

[Central Scrutinizer]

Thanks guys, Cent, you really touched it I think. your first sentence probably says it all, my need is greater than hers. That's likely true. What I don't get is why I would happily crawl a million miles, over broken glass and dog turd, just to smell the shit on her shoes, what has she done to me?

 

What is her need? At nearly 30 and with no other prospects I'd say she has to be angling for the long game. What chance the once or twice a year visitor is up for that?

 

Thing is, knowing what I know and confronting her would not cause me to cut and run, I'd like to think I'm understanding, just in need of clarification. But would she react negatively and tell me to piss off?

 

Yup there really are a million more out there, maybe two million, but I'm not interested. I want THIS one. At least I want her to understand that if she will just cool her heels a bit she can get it all. Hmm, I guess that's it right, she want's the commitment that I can't yet quite make

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fool,

 

Asked and answered.

 

"As for what you should do, well, you know the answer to that, but are afraid you will lose her. She knows this."

 

You do KNOW what you need to do, but are afraid to do it. Do it, instead of torturing yourself in a relationship where you have no power. Take control and take back your power and advantage.

 

Sad to say, your power is your money at this point. Added to whatever feelings she may or may not have for you. She is playing you as a customer. You should be playing her (and paying her) as a whore if that is how she wants to play.

 

"Thing is, knowing what I know and confronting her would not cause me to cut and run, I'd like to think I'm understanding, just in need of clarification. But would she react negatively and tell me to piss off?"

 

Dude, you are looking at this ass backwards. YOU should be telling HER to piss off. Use the info you have on what she is doing to tell her to go away. Turn the tables and take charge of the 'relationship'. And, if she does piss off, it will be a ploy. She knows you are weak and will outwait you if she 'believes' you are weak and can not do without her and whatever she provides for you. You need to show her you are serious. She needs to 'believe' you are serious. But, in reality SHE needs YOU, or at least the 75% sponsorship money you are providing. If these other 2 fools are not sending money to her, or just a little as you say for one... WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING EVEN TALKING TO THEM? You are her 'breadwinner' and you provide the bulk of her income to survive without having to work bar. Yet you give her the power over you and she knows in her mind you will wimp out. She believes that, it is time you changed her perception of you by taking back your control, the control you have always had as the money man. Stop the money... now. That will get her attention rather quickly and forcefully.

 

She will then ask why. Tell her why. She will then be ready to bargain (watch how nice she becomes and how GFE it gets). Then you set the rules, whatever it is that you expect from her for this money you provide her.

 

But really, if you know she is doing this behind your back, why put up with it? DO you think she will change? You've done right by her, you've helped her, you gave her a chance to get out of the 'job' she was doing that she supposedly wanted to get out of having to do (though she continues to do this even though you gave her a way out of it). It's a scam.

 

You are addicted to her. She's not addicted to you (but I'll bet she is addicted to your sponsorship money). Brain chemicals is all it is.