Getting a girl out of a bar

[MooNoi]

I think CTO's hit the nail on the head - a lot of BG's are *VERY* lazy!

 

But hey - there are some hard-working gems out there and they try to lead their lives with as much dignity as they can muster in sometimes really bad personal circumstances.

 

Read my trip reports from Pattaya recently if you want an in-depth story on a BG's life (Miss J) and circumstances that most customers don't know about at all. A lot of them are trapped in a shitty situation and don't know who to turn to in order to get help getting out of it and bettering themselves.

 

There's two major factors (IMO) in which BG's make it difficult for themselves:

 

1) The vast majority of them think that money will solve *ALL* their problems - and in many cases it just leads to more long-term problems,such as family greed, alcoholism, materialism etc.

 

2) The BG (and quite often non BG/ "regular" Thai philosophy) of not thinking for the future, thinking only for today and generally being "mai pen rai" in relation to life. Just out of interest, I have asked a lot of BG's what they think they'll be doing in 25/30 years etc when they are "too old to work bar" and the answer always seems to be the same: "Mai roo". (Don't know).

 

There is a perverted economy at work within the sanook scene as well - a girl can earn 4,000 - 6,000 baht working in a factory every month, or earn this in a couple of night lying on her back with her legs in the air. Does this contribute to them having some sort of false sense of economy and not vauling money as much when they are too old to work on the game anymore?

 

Yeah, there's a few girls who save money well, buy a house etc., but there's a lot more (again IMO) who piss it up against the wall and spend whatever they earn on designer stuff / jewellery / motobikes / whatever in order to gain face to their friends.

 

I guess for a lot of them, due to a lack of formal education, the opportunities for BG's once they have reached the end of their shelf life are very few - unless they catch a rich farang to "take care of them."

 

As for if I would take a girl out of a bar, I have to admit I have thought about it - and I probably will again, but never have and won't in the near future as far as I can tell.

 

At the moment though, the pitfalls are too great for me and I'm too cynical. I'm also not financially secure enough just yet to provide income for a girl and her family.

 

And I'm still young enough to realtively easily meet professional woman who are interested in a relationship with me on a more traditional level.

 

Get back to me when I'm an (even fatter) old delusional bugger propping up a bar with my beer gut when I'm over 55 years of age realising that life has slipped me by a little bit.

 

Just my 2 baht's worth.

[TroyinEwa/Perv]

Not reading all the posts but some of them, I will have to chime in saying that you might get the girl out of the bar on a temp basis but she will probably go back when she finds out that in the real world, one has to work a bit harder and the money is alot less at a normal job.

 

You can give her English lessons, buy her a beauty salon or whatever but my guess (and experience with 1) will have her back in the bar.

[Dexi]

I think many of the older ladies in the bar scene use most of their earnings to put the kids through school and take care of their parent(s)(usually only Mum).Their long term plan being that once the kid(s)are in employement they can retire back to the village and live off support money from the offspring if all else fails.However I bet more than half find a long term sponsor and move abroad or retire from the bar scene with farang partner.

[TroyinEwa/Perv]

Just my own thinking but I think more than half is outrageously high.

[The_Munchmaster]

This discussion reminds me of an episode of Blackadder:

 

Father: Your mother is alive and well and living in Droitwich. It is not her I brood over. I'm sad because, my darling, our poverty has now reached such extremes that I can no longer afford to keep us. I must look to my own dear tiny darling to sustain me in my frail dotage.

 

Kate: But father, surely...

 

Father: Yes Kate, I want you to become a prostitute.

 

Kate: Father!

 

Father: Do you defy me?

 

Kate: But indeed, I do. For it is better to die poor than to live in shame and ignominy.

 

Father: No, it isn't.

 

Kate: I'm young and strong and clever. My nose is pretty. I shall find another way to earn us a living.

 

Father: Oh, please... go on the game. It is a steady job and you'd be working from home.

 

Kate: Goodbye father. I shall go to London, disguise myself as a boy and seek my fortune!

 

Father: But why go all the way to London when you can make a fortune lying on your back?

 

[jonjon058]

I was recently reading "My name Lon...you like me". Not a very well written book but it gives some insight into the mind of a typical bar girl and why it is so difficult to help one.

 

The girl was damaged goods long before her first farang customer. Although she complains about the injustice in her life she then uses that as an excuse for her own bad behavior even toward people who never did anything wrong to her. Several opportunities to get out of the life are thrown away out of greed, laziness or boredom and she ends up back in the bar each time.

[cavanami]

I have seen many, many ladies that still in the "business" because they like the party life, often being treated like a princess, taken out to nice dinners, maybe a Phi Phi Island holiday, etc.

 

One lady in Bahrain, enjoyed the life so much, she never knew her daughter had died in an auto accident some months earlier!

 

So much for "working to make money for the family"...and you don't even have any idea what goes on with the family!!!

[Tyfon]

Droitwich? There's grim...

 

[dave32]

There's two major factors (IMO) in which BG's make it difficult for themselves:

 

1) The vast majority of them think that money will solve *ALL* their problems - and in many cases it just leads to more long-term problems,such as family greed, alcoholism, materialism etc.

 

2) The BG (and quite often non BG/ "regular" Thai philosophy) of not thinking for the future, thinking only for today and generally being "mai pen rai" in relation to life. Just out of interest, I have asked a lot of BG's what they think they'll be doing in 25/30 years etc when they are "too old to work bar" and the answer always seems to be the same: "Mai roo". (Don't know).

 

There is a perverted economy at work within the sanook scene as well - a girl can earn 4,000 - 6,000 baht working in a factory every month, or earn this in a couple of night lying on her back with her legs in the air. Does this contribute to them having some sort of false sense of economy and not vauling money as much when they are too old to work on the game anymore?

 

 

 

Nice post.

 

An older Thai woman who is a friend of mine here in Los Angeles (we work together - she's a nurse), has a rather intense emotional love/hate connection to her roots. She is agressive in her criticism of a darker side to the 'Mai Pen Rai' lifestyle. She calls it a kind of apathy and acquiescence to corruption and bullshit. Eg, if you're a police officer, people expect a certain amount of corruption... almost to the extent that if you're honest, you're going to be poorer and perceived as naive/stupid. And nobody wants to be the sucker. Further along that scale it's easier for many Thai men to hustle their girlfriends rather than to do some kind of tedious labor for a fraction of the profit the BGs would see. Yes? I don't know.

 

And what does it take to break from these kind of patterns?

[CTO]

Dave - I blame the religion myself - I seriously doubt that many girls are actually supporting families - they say they do - nice line for us to hear - but many I know don't.