Redbaron Posted February 26, 2010 Report Share Posted February 26, 2010 He's still coping a bit of flack down here. There's a raging debate going on wether the govt should pay a few million to have him play the Aus Open (like they did in 09)... it's got the feminists etc going Got me thinking... if a 30-40 yo FEMALE star (be it sports star, entertainer or whatever) who was reasonably attractive and a similar thing happened.. she apologizes and says she's a sex addict, and hubby couldn't keep up but she still loves him and asks forgiveness, will seek help etc etc. I'm tipping everyone would be on her side. (Personally I'd be cheering her on). What's the difference? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USVirgin Posted February 26, 2010 Report Share Posted February 26, 2010 I nicked this from Father T. elsewhere, and thought it worth re-posting. Don't know the original source. What Tiger Woods SHOULD Have Said: Let me just say to all my fans that I feel sorry for everyone who criticized me for my extra-marital affairs. You must live a miserable existence if you have nothing better to do than read about my personal life in the tabloids. But I suppose I should provide an explanation about my behavior so that you will continue to buy the products I endorse. So here goes. I am an average looking man of mixed racial descent. Like most men, I had trouble getting pussy before I became a famous multimillionaire. I did okay at Stanford because I was on the golf team, but the women there graded out with a “B†because they were leftovers that players on the football team didn’t want. Before that, I got nothing because I have a bland personality. Then, I win a few golf tournaments and women are lining up at my door. Of course, I took advantage of my opportunities. These were women who wouldn’t give me the time of day if I sold insurance or worked on a used car lot. They wanted me so they could brag to their friends about having sex with a celebrity, while holding the belief that one day they would live a life of luxury as the wife of Tiger Woods. When that didn’t happen, they seized on an opportunity to sell their story to the tabloids, all the while looking the part of a woman scorned.... See More Now I want to discuss my wife. When I met Elin, she was just like the others, except she played the “hard-to-get†strategy that women often use to corral men. It worked. She had all the qualities I wanted in a woman: pretty face, nice tits, nice ass, and an inviting personality. We dated for a while, had wild sex, and we genuinely enjoyed other’s company. When I asked her to marry me, she accepted. Why wouldn't she? Only an idiot would say no to a lavish lifestyle that most people only dream about. Our marriage was okay. We have two wonderful children and Elin is a good mother. But since she had those kids, she’s become a bitch, and doesn’t want to have sex very often. And, she won’t accompany me on road trips, except to the major championships. Unfortunately, my job requires that I travel to a different city every week where women nod approvingly at me where ever I go. Do you see the problem here? To all the men out there: What would you have done in my shoes? Would you have said no to all the women who lined up to meet you, especially after listening to your wife bitch at you over the telephone for not spending enough time at home with her and the kids? And to all the women: How many of you would have turned down an opportunity to spend a night with me, knowing that you could sell your story to a tabloid for 500K? I feel bad about the potential damage my actions might cause my kids. As for Elin, I can think of at least 300 million reasons why she will be okay if we divorce and she is forced to survive on her own. And don’t forget that vast support network she will have after appearing on Oprah and The View. As for me, I have paid dearly for my transgressions. I have lost millions and might lose custody of my children. Almost everyone who sees me takes great pleasure seeing me in pain. The letters "Saint" or " St. " do not precede my name. You're telling me it's O.K. to screw everything in sight and be president like Bill Clinton did, but you can't be a pro-golfer? Did I become famous for being a model married man, or was it because I'm the best damn golfer in the world? Now here I stand, while you sit there anxiously waiting to hear my heartfelt apology, when all I really want to tell you is “F**k Off!†Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted February 26, 2010 Report Share Posted February 26, 2010 I got this one... To my wife, I'm sorry. I fucked up but I'm not changing so you'll either need to put up with this shit or I'll stroke you the check I agreed to in the pre-nup....sorry. To my fans, get over it. Where I stick my dick is none of your business. If you care....sorry. I don't need any of you in order to make 10 times in one year what you'll make in a career. I promise to continue to hit 4 irons from 210 yards to within 10' of the hole and drop putts that you couldn't read in a million years. If that's not good enough for you, go watch tennis. To the media. You cocksuckers are the only ones more two-faced than I am. Kissing my ass for all those years and then ripping me every chance you've had since Thanksgiving. Fuck all ya'll. I'm glad I don't have to take the time to sit and answer the same bullshit questions over and over again. To the other golfers. Kiss my cablanasian ass! You motherfuckers come out ripping me when I've put more fucking money in your pockets than you could count. You think anyone's been paying to see Jesper-fucking-Parnavik? Give me a fucking break. I'm almost tempted to give up golf just to punish you guys but I think it's going to be more fun to practice for the next few weeks and get back to making you all my bitches. That's all I got today folks.....see ya at Augusta !....Oh and Bambi, if you're listening I'll meet you at the Ritz in 45 minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted February 26, 2010 Report Share Posted February 26, 2010 post of the day ! :bangit: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavanami Posted February 26, 2010 Report Share Posted February 26, 2010 Tiger...grow a set of balls and move on...puzzy! You have $$$, youth and game, WTF else do you need Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shygye Posted February 26, 2010 Report Share Posted February 26, 2010 ... endorsements! I estimate 90% of his income comes from endorsements and 10% from golf winnings and appearance fees. His cash burn rate is higher than his tournament winnings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USVirgin Posted February 27, 2010 Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 Just heard on the news, he has now lost Gatorade too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted February 27, 2010 Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 This is really getting just plain stupid. The guy banged around on his wife so fucking what? He should lose his income? his job? what business of it ours? As punters, we owe something to this guy to stand up behind him (er not in a gay way) and back him up fully! (again, not in a gay way). That is why I have written the following letter to all the sponsors who have dropped Tiger. I encourage you all to do the same. Dear Sponsor of Tiger Woods, I was deeply saddened to learn that you recently dropped Tiger Woods as a spokesperson for your products. As a lover of pussy myself, I frequently cohort with many women (often at the same time :hubba: )who are not my wife. I find it discriminatory and hypocritical for you to do this. Discriminatory because you have chosen to single out a man who is Black and Asian. Don't you know how much those people love ass? Show me a Black man or an Asian man who isn't getting some ass on the side, and I'll show you a stone cold faggot. Hypocritical because as a CEO of a large multinational company, you have been fucking millions for years. How dare you take a moral stance now on this. Additionally, I am sure many of you have also "steeped out on the Mrs." at some point. Some with secretaries, some with girl friends, some with prostitutes, some with transvestites and dominatrix. No doubt there may even be photos of this floating around the world/internet. Photos that could wreck a marraige, cause a scandal etc should they fall into the wrong hands. As a Punter myself, I and others would of course understand, however other may not. How would you feel if the public stopped buying your products because you were caught in some momentary indiscretion? Should you lose your job? should your company go under for it? No, it should be treated for what it is, a private matter between you and yours. Which is why I encourage you to reconsider your stance on Tiger Woods. Until then, I shall not be buying your Products or using your services. As an Ordained Minister, I'd like to leave you these words in closing "...judge not least ye be judged..." Sincerely, Old Hippie Chairman of Punters and Clergy For Fairness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USVirgin Posted February 27, 2010 Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 LOL. Please provide the CEO contacts, I'll cc my local congressperson myself. Brilliant, OH! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted February 27, 2010 Report Share Posted February 27, 2010 Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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