You know you've been in Thailand too long when...

[Flashermac]

You think it’s normal to have a beer at 9:00 a.m.

 

You begin to enjoy Thai TV programs.

 

You look four ways before crossing a one way street.

 

You realize that ALL your problems are caused by Thai girls or cranky ATMs.

 

You put salt and chilli on your fruit.

 

A Thai cop stops you for a minor infraction and you automatically reach for your wallet.

 

You think that a Honda Civic is a prestigious car.

 

All your tee-shirts are emblazoned with the name of some bar.

 

You can’t remember the last time you wore a suit and tie.

 

You think a polo shirt and jeans are formal attire.

 

Someone tells you that watching Thai politics is like watching two chameleons making love and you understand the analogy.

 

You aren’t bothered when the bar girl next to you eats fried bugs as a snack.

 

Later, you shag the bar girl who dined on the bugs.

 

You haven’t been constipated for years.

 

You wake up in the morning and realize that you have nowhere to go and all day to get there.

 

You think white wine goes well with Som Tam.

 

You understand when your wife or girlfriend says, ‘My friend you’ or ‘Same same, but different.’

 

A Thai bar girl you’ve just met tells you that her mother is deathly ill and you laugh and walk away.

 

You realize that your wife’s loyalties belong to:

 

1. Her parents.

 

2. Her brats from her previous marriage to a Thai arsehole who abandoned her.

 

3. Any remaining blood relatives.

 

4. The family buffalo.

 

5. The family’s goldfish.

 

6. You.

 

You consider you mobile phone a fashion accessory.

 

You start driving cars barefoot.

 

You no longer enjoy Songkran. Instead, you stay home with a stack of videos.

 

You've become an expert on buying and selling gold jewellery.

 

You flash your 4 indicator lights when driving through an intersection.

 

It’s two days before payday, so you only go to bars with balloons strung outside.

 

You realize that all the important words in Thai begin with the letter ‘S’. Sanuk (Fun), Saduak (convenient), Sabai (comfortable), Suay pretty).

 

You believe that buying a gold chain is an acceptable courtship ritual.

 

You think a calendar is more useful than a watch.

 

You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for a bus.

 

Indian tailors ignore you when you walk past their shop.

 

You charge a Falang the "Falang price"

 

Proper English has become your second language

 

You see a falang and yell "Falang!"

 

Taxi drivers understand you.

 

You are not surprised when the lady who owns the pub asks if you know anyone who will teach her son English.

 

Not only does it not bother you a woman is cleaning the urinal next to the one you're using, but you have a casual chat with her.

 

You think blondes look exotic.

 

You push the "pull to open" door for the 50th time this week and giggle about the experience.

 

You see stubble on the chin of your bride the morning after the wedding.

 

You read the subtitles at the movies rather than listen to the English

 

Everything brand name you own is counterfeit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Bangkoktraveler]

You see stubble on the chin of your bride the morning after the wedding.

 

 

Was on the Skytrain one day and for some odd reason started looking at the women in the car. Much to my surprise the first one had a mustache and when I got done looking, they all had mustaches.

[skirtlifter]

Sooooo true Flash. But don't you just love the place. Where else in the world would you want to be????

[Torneyboy]

Not only does it not bother you a woman is cleaning the urinal next to the one you're using, but you have a casual chat with her.

 

 

 

Love this one

[Mentors]

when...your pair of pink flip-flops are the only one sort of shoes you have.

 

when...you wear a Sarong while enter the Skytrane.

[Dexi]

" Indian taylors ignore you when you walk past their shop ".....this would be great but I cant see it happening unless you look Thai .

[cavanami]

Not only does it not bother you a woman is cleaning the urinal next to the one you're using, but you have a casual chat with her.

 

 

 

Love this one

The lady at Gulliver's was always doing a visual on you. Looks like she was looking for the "biggest" man!

[pasathai1]

you wake up after a big night out, slap your wife on the ass and leave 500 bt on the dresser before you realize you are home

[pasathai1]

or you walk down phayathai road and don't smell anything repulsive and wonder if there is a problem

[shygye]

You stop at the end of an escalator.

 

You pile into the Skytrain without giving anyone a chance to exit.