Advice Needed: Friend Won't See Writing On The Wall and Come Home

[Old Hippie]

So money is everything? Sometimes people place their happiness first, send him home and saying this seriously, maybe he decides to top himself, how will you feel?

 

You've told him your thoughts, and they are good ones, you've pushed enough.

 

Thinking about someone similar, Blackie, I bet he was happy he stayed in Thailand far too long.

 

 

 

WTF are you talking about? And why are you so damned cranky lately? Do you need a hug? I'm here for you buddy!

[Old Hippie]

talk sense? if you had any sense' date=' would you still be living at home , on a 9-5 job bored wondering what could have been? It is the risk takers, the guys who cast it all to chance, take the risk and make shit happen...those are the guys who live the dream, while the rest of us sit at home where it is safe.

 

The risk takers are those who can and do, those who take the risk to make it happen. Some fail, come up with a new plan and start again...wish I had balls like that.[/quote']

 

Where in my post did I advise Piggy to tell his mate to return home to a boring 9-5 existance, I merely said, as has been reiterated by others, to tell him to cast his net wider and to find a position that would afford him frequent trips to Thailand. Working as an unqualified English Teacher in Bangkok and subsidising his income by eating into his investments certainly does not make any sense at all to me.

 

Having left the UK in my early 20's, lived / worked overseas for over 22 years now, of which for the last 19 I have had a home in Thailand I may know a little about the expat lifestyle and what is required to make a success of it.

 

I did have the balls to follow my convictions.

 

 

Once again you miss read my post. I am saying if he wants to make it happen, he can take the opportunities available now, and try to build on them, do what he can to make it all happen...the worst is, he fails and has to go home, regroup and try again. If he succeeds, well, then he made it! Right? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Those who take the risks are those who may succeed, while the rest of us play it safe and wonder "what if I Had done xyz years ago..." right?

 

SOmeone on this board had a tag line sort of like "...it is better to regret what you did, than to regret not having done it/tried..." or something like that...

[USVirgin]

[Old Hippie]

Some things are better left unsaid...

[USVirgin]

Right...I just un-said it.

[Nervous God]

Oh, are you going gay on me? Explain how i was grumpy, just saying he may be happier. When shit hit the fan last year family wanted me to run home asap. I decided not too, as i hated the idea of the kids missing out on what it's like to grow up in a village. Something came along, so we're just surviving, but kids never happier. Maybe in a few months i'll have to go to aus, but their memories of riding elephants on weekends, swimming with buffalo's will leave the average aussie kid breathless with envy. Running at first sign of difficulty isn't always the best thing. Then again, maybe i should be back in aus digging ditches.

[Central Scrutinizer]

Hey Guys, some advice needed if you have any.

 

A friend of mine I used to work with when I lived in Bangkok has recently been made redundant by his employer over there.

 

He got a retrenchment payout and has basically spent 3 months pissing it up against the wall and providing vet care for sick buffalos.

 

I spoke to him yesterday and he said he is going to take a job teaching English for about 30,000 baht per month. When I asked him how he's going to cope going from about 100,000 baht per month to this new salary he said: "well I'll just have to, won't I?"

 

(He's not qualified in teaching English so will no doubt end up in a shitty "school" where's he's not really qualified to teach people how to speak English).

 

I then suggested he could "come home to the "real world" and get a well-paying job". (This guy is a proessional person, and would find a job here quite easily, but its hard to find employment in his field in Thailand).

 

Yes it will take him some time to adjust to life back in Farangland again - I know this after my 7 years in Asia - but it is possible, and quite often it's the best thing to do.

 

My mate's going to have to move out of his current apartment and completely adjust his lifestyle from what he's used to "just to stay in Asia". What's the point?

 

He said "I can't leave Asia, I've got to stay here. Why would I want to come home? It's boring there?"

 

I'm really worried that my mate's living in Fantasyland and can't see the writing on the wall. He's single, no kids, so there's nothing tying him to living in Asia. Just beaches, beers and ho's.

 

To be honest, I'm worried he's going to completely mess up his life and can't see the forest for the trees, but it seems nothing myself or anyone else has said to him will get through.

 

Having said that, I did know a lot of people when I lived in LOS in this situation, and the thought of "going home" was totally unacceptable.

 

I also said to him "how are you going to keep your lifestyle if you get an English teaching job for 30 - 40,000 per month" and he merely replied "I'll find a way. I'll just go with cheaper girls and won't drink as much." WTF?

 

It seems he's really lost touch with reality and I don't know what to say to him to make him see sense.

 

I'm sure a lot of you expats have seen guys up there lose touch with reality and "have to stay in Asia at any cost" and end making a real mess of their life. I don't want to see this happen to my mate, but I think he's going to have to learn the hard way.

 

Any ideas?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moo, don't waste your breath with him. He is hooked. He'll need to see it for himself, and eventually will, maybe. He's a big boy and he wants to stay here no matter what. You'll not change his mind, and if he is your friend you'll just piss him off and lose a friend if you push it too much. A year or two at the lesser budget will probably help it sink in. I loved the line where he says he'll drink less (cheaper booze?) and fuck ugly cheaper women. 55555555. At least he has a plan. :bangit:

[Central Scrutinizer]

"Then again, maybe i should be back in aus digging ditches."

 

Good exercise that! :-) I did it many years ago for a few months. Great workout and yer waistline will shrink rapidly, especially in the hot season. Not an older man's job though unless it's your career for years. Those old fuckers are fit as hell. Worked with a bunch of old Italian laborers. Fit bunch. Could drink beer all night, work all day, and never gain an ounce of fat. 55555555. Not good for a bad back though.

 

[Coss]

MooNoi you lovely piggy: Often you have to let people dig their own holes, if you try and dissuade them, they won't let you watch, and then you can't give them a hand up and out.

 

On another track, though similar, a friend I have, has the following quandary: spend the next 20 or so years, quietly sliding into decay, with the opportunity of one or two affairs, perhaps some local hookers and the expensive but impersonal service that they give, Or, grab as much cash as possible, the next plane to LOS, and live like a king for the next year, maybe 18 months. When the money's gone - swan dive.

 

So a long grey existence with precious little Sanuk. Or a year or so of bliss.

 

As Mr Neil Young opined, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

 

It really does depend where your head is, your head is in a good place, your friend maybe in another.

 

Cheers

 

Coss

[The_Munchmaster]

Moo, I have to agree with Cent. You've given him your advice and he hasn't taken it and he's not about to any time soon. Just leave him to it (but keep in touch) and either he will stay in Thailand and get by or he will eventually realise that it's time to get out and regroup (hopefully).