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Typical University Faculty Academic Advisor in 2010 America


StoneSoup

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"A Boy Named Sue"

 

My daddy left home when I was three

And he didn't leave much to ma and me

Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.

Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid

But the meanest thing that he ever did

Was before he left, he went and named me "Sue."

 

Well, he must o' thought that is quite a joke

And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk,

It seems I had to fight my whole life through.

Some gal would giggle and I'd get red

And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head,

I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Sue."

 

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,

My fist got hard and my wits got keen,

I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame.

But I made a vow to the moon and stars

That I'd search the honky-tonks and bars

And kill that man who gave me that awful name.

 

Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July

And I just hit town and my throat was dry,

I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew.

At an old saloon on a street of mud,

There at a table, dealing stud,

Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me "Sue."

 

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad

From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,

And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.

He was big and bent and gray and old,

And I looked at him and my blood ran cold

And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do!

Now your gonna die!!"

 

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes

And he went down, but to my surprise,

He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.

But I busted a chair right across his teeth

And we crashed through the wall and into the street

Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.

 

I tell ya, I've fought tougher men

But I really can't remember when,

He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.

I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,

He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,

He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

 

And he said: "Son, this world is rough

And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough

And I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya along.

So I give ya that name and I said goodbye

I knew you'd have to get tough or die

And it's the name that helped to make you strong."

 

He said: "Now you just fought one hell of a fight

And I know you hate me, and you got the right

To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do.

But ya ought to thank me, before I die,

For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye

Cause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you "Sue.'"

 

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun

And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,

And I came away with a different point of view.

And I think about him, now and then,

Every time I try and every time I win,

And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him

Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!

 

 

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Meet: Miss Sawyer

 

The era foretold by the movie "Idiocracy" is fast approaching: Idiocracy - Opening Prologue

 

F**k! I've heard some doozies. This one has to be at or damn near the top of the list. I've seen a 'Female' first name pronounced 'fee-ma-lay' with the "`" over the e. I've hear of a Cashay Monay for Cash Money, first and middle name.

 

All of my brothers and sister have fairly standard names. My mother hated the made up names. Marva, my sister, is about as exotic as my siblings go.

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Most of my sisters' friends are black women she knows from work. One day she asked a friend what she'd named her new daughter. The gal replied Kakamamie (or some such similar nonsense). She explained she wanted something that "sounded African". My sister asked why she hadn't gone to the library and looked at the books on what to name your child. There are some wonderful books of African names - what they mean, what tribe or area they come from etc. The friend exclaimed, "They got books like that?" Jeez, how dense can you get? :(

 

I knew a very feminine and attractive black gal whose name was Roosevelta. (Makes me think of the hipo ballerinas in "Fantasia". ) I've probably mentioned the gal who applied for a job ... her name was Latrina. :doah:

 

Sometimes you suspect that parents really hate their kids, judging by the names they gave them.

 

 

 

 

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"Police years ago pulled over a young woman who rushed through an amber traffic light. "I'm about to arrest this person right now," the irritated officer radioed to a dispatcher. "She's telling me her name is Marijuana Pepsi Jackson."

 

It's the truth. Marijuana and Pepsi are her legal first and middle names, and the Beloit woman embraces them as a symbol of her struggle to succeed and to help other children overcome obstacles.

 

No Mary or Mary Jane or Mary Wanda for her. It's Marijuana, thank you, she's told bosses, co-workers and friends over the years, and even wore it on nametags at work.

 

This tall, striking, self-assured, motorcycle-riding woman is a schoolteacher with a master's degree in higher education administration. Soon, she'll start work on her doctorate."

 

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Most of my sisters' friends are black women she knows from work. One day she asked a friend what she'd named her new daughter. The gal replied Kakamamie (or some such similar nonsense). She explained she wanted something that "sounded African". My sister asked why she hadn't gone to the library and looked at the books on what to name your child. There are some wonderful books of African names - what they mean, what tribe or area they come from etc. The friend exclaimed, "They got books like that?" Jeez, how dense can you get? :(

 

I knew a very feminine and attractive black gal whose name was Roosevelta. (Makes me think of the hipo ballerinas in "Fantasia". ) I've probably mentioned the gal who applied for a job ... her name was Latrina. :doah:

 

Sometimes you suspect that parents really hate their kids, judging by the names they gave them.

 

 

 

 

There was a black comedian several years ago who had a standard american name and said he had a son who's name was Ron Johnson or some such regular name. He said, 'Yeah, it may not be unique enough for some of y'all but I'll tell ya what. They won't know my son is black until he shows up at the interview and your sons won't get the interview'.

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