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Advice Needed: GF Scared to Meet Friends in Social Situation


MooNoi

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Its not just Thai's in Farangland who are a little apprehensive the same also applies to Farangs in Thailand.

 

I will admit the fact that once I left the bar scene behind I tended to mix with expats and when I started to socialise with "Normal Thai Society" I was OK with my now wife and maybe one or two of her friends but once it came to social gatherings I went into my shell and appeared to the other guests as either introvert (me 5555) or maybee a little aloof.

 

I am damn glad I percievered and adapted since my life in Thailand is a lot more diversified now than it was in the past. Brunch with two other couples is probably the perfect next step into ascimilation with another society / way off life. Trust me I did it the opposite way.

 

 

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I'll get crucified for this, but so be it. It comes from many years of living in Asia.

 

Thais are not unique. I know you know that. And you know me well enough that I am NOT the control freak nor is this a normal part of my personality.

 

But sometimes, as uncomfortable as it is for us Westerners, Asian chix want "Daddy" to tell them what to do. In this case, since you are sure of her and her capabilities (only she is not), you need to "man up" and be the "Daddy." Tell her she is going to go with you to this function, what the dress style is, and that's that. Not "buts," "exceptions," "excuses" or "whatever." Put your foot down. In the proper way, of course.

 

Afterwards, she'll thank you for it.

 

If your relationship is not strong enough to allow that to happen, then you have to ask is it worth pursuing? A good wife (and hey, dating is just a test run for marriage, innit?) will have her husband's back. And sometimes that includes socializing with and being charming to folks she normally would not. But that's life. Help her to grow up.

 

The new Mrs LK has now been with me to several high-level "black tie" functions/dinners/dog-n-pony-shows where she has met very senior political figures of various countries. She never wanted to go, but handled herself with the grace, aplomb and style I knew she would. She's now happy she did it. And credits me with getting her off the fence.

 

 

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Thanks to the advice, LK and others.

 

She is going to go now - tomorrow (Sunday) morning with me.

 

I talked to her this morning and set a few things straight. She's still a bit apprehensive but hopefully I've given her the confidence to be sociable and do her best.

 

I'm sure after she's socialised with my friends once or twice she'll be a lot more comfortable and a lot better off for it.

 

She's lucky in that my friends we are having brunch with are lovely people and very sociable and pleasant. Even with the farang women in the couples there is no "she is Thai so she must be a mail order bride" syndrome, which is good. Me being a bit younger helps with that too I guess. :grinyes:

 

She said that she feels she has my support and because of that she will "do her best" and make an effort to communicate.

 

As I (and LK) said - I have the confidence in her. She's a smart uni-educated girl who speaks very good English and is pleasant to talk to. She just needs to get amongst it a bit and build her own self-confidence.

 

Thanks again, guys. :beer:

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I remember when my Mrs decided not to go with me for an evening out when I was an editor. She stayed home alone. When I got back, I handed her the business card Thailand's then top movie actor had given me. Her jaw dropped and she was decidedly unhappy. She was even less happy when she saw the photo in the papers of the star with me and a northern princess. After that, she went whenever I asked her.

 

Women are strange creatures, which is what makes them so much fun. ;)

 

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