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?Letters from Issaan- End of story? Part 6 FINAL!


phoenix

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In FarangDangs defense, this is a woman whom was continually screwing around on him, and never being truthful with him. I must admit to reading this (good story, by the way Pheonix), and thinking, "Dude, what are you doing? Life is WAY too short for this shit. How many times does it take before you see the plot?". But then again, he may be a newbie, sucked in very early on, and blinded by love. I'm a newbie. Could this ever happen to me? No way, dude. I'm way too smart for that. Guess what....given the right woman, I CAN be destroyed. All of us can. Never forget that.....

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High Thaied:

 

 

 

Understand your point, and that's one of the main reasons why Phoenix posted it as a reminder/warning to others..

 

 

 

What I'm taking a piss on is FarangDangs general attitude of talking down to people as if he was on the pedestal and doling pieces of wisdom. I am sure he is different in real life, but he could have easily phrased his points in a less antagonistic high handed instagatios manner.

 

 

 

<<burp>>

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Thank you, G.

 

> the main reasons why Phoenix posted it as a reminder/warning to others.. <

 

 

 

Yes that was my motive for posting. I'll try and post my 2 yr old "newbie landed in LOS' post as soon as I can access it, to give a perspective of my total naivity then.

 

 

 

Over the past year I've had a fairly open mind about what might be, but continued giving her the benefit of the doubt.

 

 

 

I see nothing wrong with that. I like to treat anyone like a human being and give them the benefit of the doubt if there is any. Maybe that's stupid, but as long as I feel OK about that, who cares.

 

I still don't hold any grudges against her, or anger. We were both consenting adults, who grasped an opportunity.

 

it didn't work out the way I may have wanted to, neither did it work out the way she wanted.

 

 

 

So What?

 

 

 

In spite of some bad times, we had a lot of good times, that no one will ever take away from me. And I think I am a bit wiser now than two years ago. I hope she is, and she's a bit richer.

 

Win/win?

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[color:blue]"Phoenix, you made a lot of mistakes and the sooner you admit that the better" is unnecessarily harsh and uncalled for. He is a nice guy. He knows the score. Sanuk is not about taking people apart or speaking down to people.color=blue>

 

 

 

Sometimes you need to be blunt to knock some sense into people. It is not clear at all that phoenix "knows the score". It may be that he is a little wiser now, but from his last post it appears that he will continue to make the same misguided mistakes that he did here. As I said, in this case it turned out relatively benignly, but the next time will probably be worse.

 

 

 

[color:blue]What I'm taking a piss on is FarangDangs general attitude of talking down to people as if he was on the pedestal and doling pieces of wisdom. I am sure he is different in real life, but he could have easily phrased his points in a less antagonistic high handed instagatios manner.color=blue>

 

 

 

It is not my intent to talk down to people, but when they are so clearly and utterly wrong it is hard to let them know that without seeming "high-handed". Any sensible person reading these posts could see it was a disaster waiting to happen and that there was no chance of a happy ending. Perhaps since this was written after the fact, Phoenix made the impending disasters more obvious to us than it was to him at the time, but still....

 

 

 

It does nobody any good to tell Phoenix that it was just bad luck and that he should try again. If Phoenix chooses to roll the dice with such bad odds, that is up to him, but giving the impression that what he did makes sense for anyone else is irresponsible advice.

 

 

 

This kind of thing could happen to anyone. If it starts to happen to me I would hope that my friends would be ballsy enough to whack me upside the head until I could see clearly again.

 

 

 

And this is the last time I want to have to tell you that "instigatious" is not a real word! wink.gif

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FarangDang-

 

"This kind of thing could happen to anyone. If it starts to happen to me I would hope that my friends would be ballsy enough to whack me upside the head until I could see clearly again."

 

Something is happening to you, I don't know what it is, but as a friend I'm here to tell you to stop busting balls and get your head outta yer ass.

 

Maybe you've been listening to Dr. Laura on talk radio too much!

 

 

 

 

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Farangdang:

 

 

 

Blunt and high handed obnoxiousness are not the same thing. One way creates a lot of acrimony.

 

 

 

Where you would lead a string by pounding on it continuously I would lead it from the back.

 

 

 

Not going to put a lot of effort into this because I know this is a very lost cause as we see things differently.

 

 

 

Just would like to state we could have done without the high handedness. And I am not talking about being blunt.

 

 

 

<<burp>>

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Well, gummi, keep on pushing that string.

 

 

 

In this case, telling the guy to hold his head up and better luck next time does him and everyone who reads his story a disservice. Not to mention all the other lives that such careless behavior might damage. Some people want to force sanukers into two camps: one callous and selfish, the other generous and naive. I do my best to point out that you can be caring and honest without being foolish and irresponsible.

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Phoenix, my friend

 

 

 

I just started reading the Trip board today and came across your story. I command you for posting it, because none of you guys comes out looking great from it. You, only because you let yourself dragged in an impossible affair, when you should have known better. .

 

Not sure of i understood she is going to England or not. We all can guess what will happen there, and i hope Ted wisens up before he gets hurt deeper.

 

I have a buddy who compares going on and on with a failed realationship with a BG to fixing a used car that keeps giving you troubles. You always hope the last repair will be for good and hesitate changing after you put so much money into it. Fooling yourself, that is. Actions speak louder than words, and God knows if your Nok acted up.

 

The difference between a good BG and a bad one is the BULLSHIT the bad one lays on you. You've been served in that case. And the things you know about her now, which are not bullshit, plain facts, would make any guy coming to his sense walk the other side of the street at her sight. Let us know how you are coping, and if any relapse, give us the chance to straighten you up.

 

 

 

PS: what a complicated village life hers is. the most action i see in my GF's village is the swinging of the hammock i lay on every lazy afternoon. LOL

 

 

 

 

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[color:blue]The difference between a good BG and a bad one is the BULLSHIT the bad one lays on you.color=blue>

 

 

 

Exactly. And one of the points I was trying to make is that there are so many good BGs out there that wasting time trying to fix a bad one just doesn't make sense, unless you're the one that broke her (e.g. gave her a kid, took her out of the business and promised you'd support her forever, ...).

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