Gadfly Posted July 19, 2011 Report Share Posted July 19, 2011 I read this thread and I think about the five month year old baby. And Cross's comment about how you cannot change the world. He's right. But this part of Thai society really bothers me. I think about that five month year old kid. Some things are simply wrong, and this aspect of Thailand is simply wrong. But of course as a "guest" here its totally inappropriate for me to say this. I probably shouldn't have read this thread, but this sort of BS really bothers me. I'll leave it at that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddha Posted July 19, 2011 Report Share Posted July 19, 2011 Will you become a father? No, but maybe a guardian, surrogate, role model or something like that. To title it the way you did smacks of a 'vanity' and/or 'entitlement' I care not to consider. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavanami Posted July 21, 2011 Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 It grinds my gears to see a Thai father do a runner on the mother of his child, but such is life. What needs to happen is for his Thai family to come down on him hard and often and keep him aware of what a fuck his is, IMO! I see many, many good Thai ladies that are single parents because the man did a runner...sure nothing in this world is 100% but I have seen enough good ladies that do not deserve to be treated as such. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tartempion Posted July 21, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Cav, You got that wrong, it's the mother who dumped the father and the baby. Both are back at the father's parents house, since the house they lived in was paid by the mother's mother. Thus yesterday the baby spent the day at our house, family working on the field. Quite baby, GF nevertheless felt tired at the end of the day when the father came to pick up his child. I am sitting alone here at the keyboard, GF is off to her parents place to take care of the baby again. Not sure how this will evolve, I don't like the GF to spend all her time there, in a few days rice field work will be over, what will the father do??? Or the father will have to find a real job somewhere and we will take care of the baby 100% or the father will need to take full responsibility of the child. (I understand he does the laundry all by himself) My house or GF is not going to be a free nanny place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavanami Posted July 21, 2011 Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 My comment was just general, not specifically related to your situation. Goes to show, there is no "one fit answer" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gadfly Posted July 22, 2011 Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 Both parents - and their families - need to take responsibility for their child. It's really that simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave32 Posted July 22, 2011 Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 All due respect Gadfly, it's that simple in theory, but biological parents ain't always that great and in practice (speak from experience), some get more nurturing from surrogate stand-in parents than their biological. Next - it sounds to me like several things are churning in Tartempion's mind. One, he could help this kid out and provide him with tools to create a better future. Two - the relationship with the actual parents seems a bit shaky. Three - he's not sure if he wants the hassle. Think it over carefully. You can probably be effective as a godparent helping out. If you guys adopt the kid full on make sure you're willing to make that commitment and everything is stable (in other words if you're going to be dealing with consistent drama with the teen mom and unemployed dad/brother, that could be a bad experience). Like I said, you can positively impact this kid's life as a godparent or simply a relative-in-law that genuinely cares. It sounds like that means something to you and you're looking for a way to contribute. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fos Posted July 23, 2011 Report Share Posted July 23, 2011 Indeed, here in the villages too many girls get pregnant around 15, puritan Thailand, no pil, no condom, no brain. It does seem to me too that far too many girls get pregnant at too young an age, although in your sentence I'd replace the words 'no brain' with 'no proper education'. But I hang around a less affluent, less educated social-economic group in Thailand than I would in my home country so my anecdotal data could be biased. Teenage pregnancy and irresponsible fathers also exist in western countries, as another poster pointed out. It'd be interesting to see some stats on teenage pregnancy and birth and single parent for Thailand compared to other countries of the same GDP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fos Posted July 23, 2011 Report Share Posted July 23, 2011 Indeed, here in the villages too many girls get pregnant around 15, puritan Thailand, no pil, no condom, no brain. It does seem to me too that far Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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