Guys Ashamed of Admitting They Married a BG

[MooNoi]

Was talking to a guy today (one of my clients) about Thailand and ended up getting on to the sanook/mongering scene in LOS.

 

Ended up chatting about it, and seems like he knew the scene very well - bars, terminology, prices etc.

 

This guy is married, but was at pains to point out to me that his Thai wife wasn't a bar girl when they met. It was almost as if he has to convince me she wasn't an ex-bg.

 

I have met other guys like this before.

I remember one guy I talked to told me that he first met his wife when she was "working in a restaurant". Trouble was, he didn't know that I knew that girl when she worked at Tilac Bar a few years previously!

(Luckily she didn't recognise me, but I certainly recognised her as I spent many nights in Tilac when I lived in BKK).

 

It got me thinking as to why would you try to hide the truth when you're talking to another monger?

 

I would understand him saying he met his wife in a "legit" scenario if you were talking to someone who didn't approve of the whole scene, but why try to cover it up when you're talking to someone of the same ilk?

 

Doesn't make sense to me.

Thoughts?

 

 

[Julian2]

Interesting point.

Correct etiquette in South East Asian expat circles dictates that one should always wait for the husband to mention what his wife's former career was.

 

Starting an introduction... "meet my wife, the former air hostess/hotel receptionist/perfume saleswoman shows a little insecurity as well.

 

I always wait at least ten minutes before I casually slip into the conversation that mine was tour guide.

[Flashermac]

An expat really shouldn't need to be told. It isn't that hard to spot the ex-working girls ... most of the time anyway. Just listen to their English, if nothing else.

 

As to men being ashamed of their wife's past, how about their own? If they hadn't been whoring around, they'd never have met her.

 

Only one of my colleagues married a BG - and it turned out a disaster in a large part because of him. He thought it was fine for him to play around, but he went bananas when he found out she had too and divorced her. Sounds like a fair trade off to me.

 

 

 

 

 

[radioman]

I guess most just don't want to say they married a hooker. It seems it's stigmatized, even if you are a 'monger'. Personally I find relationships with hookers far more interesting. Bad ones everywhere of course but you don't need to be that smart to weed them out. Many have their feet on the ground know exactly what they are doing have clear life goals and make great friends.

 

Talking about mongering in the abstract is a bit different to discussing one's personal taste in life partners. That and most folk are just way to judgmental.

 

[radioman]

My current bestest friend, ex Tilac girl, brilliant, socially confident and always great company. Mixes well with other people even if a little shy at first, perfectly normal. She's not ashamed of the choices she felt compelled to make at certain times in her life, why should I be. At least she's not uptight in the sack.

 

BG really does mean Best Girls!

 

[Flashermac]

One of the Nanaplaza members had married a looker from the Long Gun and even bragged about it. His attitude was ... "You may have shagged her in the past, but you won't any more."

 

 

 

 

[WorldFun]

ashamed what - longgun looker/hooker? aha lol...

[ozpharlap]

One of the Nanaplaza members had married a looker from the Long Gun and even bragged about it. His attitude was ... "You may have shagged her in the past, but you won't any more."

I am sure you mumbled under your breath "I wouldn't bet the house on that, especially if she keeps fluttering her eyes at me like that".

 

Maybe he is saying that not to protect his own reputation, but maybe (more probably) his wife/GF/lover's reputation ... after all, love is love, and when you are in love you protect the other

[dave32]

I guess most just don't want to say they married a hooker. It seems it's stigmatized, even if you are a 'monger'. Personally I find relationships with hookers far more interesting. Bad ones everywhere of course but you don't need to be that smart to weed them out. Many have their feet on the ground know exactly what they are doing have clear life goals and make great friends.

 

Talking about mongering in the abstract is a bit different to discussing one's personal taste in life partners. That and most folk are just way to judgmental.

 

 

Yep. Even in more tolerant cultures BGs will be a little on the periphery. It'll always be like that. Society/culture/whatever you want to call it -- is to a great extent about establishing structure and defining things. Reconciling being a bargirl with things like motherhood is problematic, from a cultural viewpoint -- it's a challenge.

 

Also, there's just the subject of sex. Same same. Culture/society has to get some sort of handle on that, hence taboos and social mores and all that stuff. A lot of it is common sense. A lot of it is puritanical bullshit perpetuated by nutcases.

 

But prostitutes will never be 'mainstream,' not going to happen.

 

And there's one other important thing. BGs, if they are good at it, are skilled at seducing and manipulating men. And we know this. Hell, we even like it. But that also means -- if you enter a 'traditional' relationship, it's not unreasonable for outsiders to wonder -- "is he a mark"? Might not be true. But people are going to wonder.

 

Ps. I'm skeptical about the institution of marriage itself. But if I did get married, I could see it being a bargirl. Gotta keep it interesting.

[Coss]

I've married twice, both times to good girls, and I've regretted both, I'd much rather have a rooter than a dried up prune (notwithstanding my current infatuation with MyLaoGirl).

 

Is she was a bar girl, I may not publicize this fact, but nor would I hide from it either, mainly to keep stray men away I guess.

 

When I married my current witch, just the fact that she was Thai was a red flag in femi-nazi NZ, everyone assumed she was a hooker, when they had her origins as a Ban Nok village girl waitress explained to them, it was almost as bad (in their minds).

 

The end game is your and her personal happiness.

 

Every one else can go and get f*cked