Fiery Jack's One Day Bkk Stopover Disaster: A Warning To Us All

[Fiery Jack]

Not really a 'Trip Report' so please shift it to where it should be. But...

 

I had a less-than 24 hour stopover in BKK on 22nd August. Due to delays and whatnot, arrived at about 3AM and next connecting flight out was 5PM. So, game on and into town. Got a day room at the Dynasty, dumped my hand luggage, had a shower, and out onto Suk, boozing at a grand old roadside stall, whooping it up with some young Thai rogues till 7AM, all good fun.

 

Back to the hotel for a wee kip. Then out into the sunshine at about 11AM. Few beers at Golden then Big Dogs then Soi 7 Beergarden, and I'm flying without radar. I mosey back towards NEP. Outside there, a bird calling herself 'Yat' — thin, waspish, pointy features, tattoos too, in hindsight possibly nay probably on ya-baa — is selling ice cold ones from a bucket right outside NEP. I buy one and park my arse on pavement. I love this life. Yes. This is where i feel good. One becomes two becomes three, becomes four, and we get some banter going, me and Yat. This bird Yat then suggests that, as it's time for her to shut up shop (some hairy tattooed thug bloke turns up to relieve her of duty), she and I head off somewhere for a shag. I've got the ale-goggles on by now, :hubba: and she looks not hideous, so I say okay. She asks for 2,000 baht. I am pished, so 2000 baht is what she pockets. Off we go. I try to get her back to Dynasty. No, she says. No like Dynasty. She wants ot go for a beer. F*ck that, says me, I've only got an hour or so before I have to f*ck off back to the airport. She starts acting a bit bonkers. F*ck this, says, I, just give me my money back and we'll call it quits. At this, she goes ballistic, starts screaming her f*cking head off. In broad daylight, in the street. We're currently still in Nana car park. Some bird with a face like torn shite claiming to be a pal of hers comes across from Golden and starts screaming too. I cut my losses and walk away. A bird I know who works at Nana Hotel (staff, not a hooker) has been watching events unfold. She runs after me, tells me this bird Yat is banned from the Nana because she tried to stab a bloke in there recently and this 'get a punter then act bonkers and start a fight' is her standard modus operandi. She's well known for it, apparently.

 

And to add insult to injury, having shaken off the screaming Yat one, I trucked back up to Soi 7 — still an hour or two left before I have to get to the plane. There's a bar set up on the far side of the street near the ATM machine and the wee kiosk shop that sells leather stuff. I sit down, order a beer. There's an African bird sitting there on her own boozing and looking glum. Lovely face, but the body of Rusty Lee: fat, massive tits. She starts telling me her daughter or mother or father or something is sick, seems sad and a bit pissed but sweet enough. Calls herself Melissa. She suggests she suck me off to make herself feel better. 2000 baht. Oh f*ck, I think, why not, after the fun and games with the bold Yat, I could do with something a wee bit different. She pockets the brass, we buy some condoms and beer at a 7/11, and off we go. Dynasty, I say, I have a room. No good, she says, and we wander off back towards Soi 4. She takes me down past Big Dogs to some hotel. I pay for a short-time room in some airy hotel a way down the soi on the left. Upstairs we go. Once in the room, as if a switch has been flicked, she starts going f*cking ballistic, demanding more money, saying I don't respect her, blah blah, blah, acting like we're f*cking married or something... I say f*ck this, and try to go. She blocks the door, won't let me out. Give me more money, she says. I laugh. She stars bellowing and shouting, ranting and raving. I push her out of the way, unlock the door, and I'm off. I dash down to reception, say there's a mad woman upstairs. She comes barrelling out of the elevator saying I owe her money. She says she'll call the police. I say go ahead sweetheart. I sit down, fold my arms, smile. This makes her even more furious. A tourist police bloke comes. She storms off, knocking furniture over, and weaving off down soi 4 like a scolded cat. I tell the police bloke the story. He says she's a loony, well known for pulling stunts like that.

 

Jesus. Did I have a f*cking sign pinned to my forehead that day saying 'Idiot: Please Rob Me'? Felt like it. Seriously, it was a real nightmare. I'll be in BKK next week and am now feeling guardedly nervous, not looking forward to it. F*ck's sake. I fully expect that bird Yat to come at me with a f*cking blade, and I'll shit my pants every time I see an African tart with big tits. Why has the world changed to be like this, or have I just changed, or did I change it somehow? Bangkok is a place I love. I feel violated. I wandered around in a daze, and got my things, then I got on the plane a sad man. 15 years of visits, 15 years of magic, and nothing like that's ever happened before. How do the newbies get on with all that shit? It used to be edenic. No more.

 

So watch out. Watch how you go. I will, more now.

 

jack

[Bangkoktraveler]

I had a wildcat like that once. When I tried leaving she bit me in the wrist and would not let loose. Nothing like trying to walk thru a door with a wildcat attached to your arm.

[cosspital]

Fun filled freelancers.

 

Fantastic, frenetic, hazardous.

 

I've had a couple of YaBaa ladies, better when they're on it, insane when they've run out.

[radioman]

Solution to problem:

 

1. Get a map, draw a line on it between New Phetchaburi Road and Rama 4 road where Asoke is.

2. Get a big black marker pen and blackout everything west of this line (lower numbered sois)

3. Plan all of your activities and preferably accommodation as well, to the east of your line. This gives you at least Soi Cowboy, Sois 20, 22 and 33 to play in.

 

No guarantee you wont get burnt but the odds are less than the lower Suk free fire zone. Not that there isn't fun stuff to be had in that area just that I think you need to be a bit more conscious of the obviously dodgy.

 

Be safe chief.

 

Oh yeah, your post reads almost like one extolling the virtues of the bar fine!

[The_Munchmaster]

Sorry Jack, but no need for any warning, at least not for the majority of BM's.

 

...Jesus. Did I have a f*cking sign pinned to my forehead that day saying 'Idiot: Please Rob Me'? Felt like it.

 

Yeah you did. What kind of idiot pays a girl up front, especially the skanks you were dealing with?!

 

...So watch out. Watch how you go. I will, more now.

 

No need to watch out, just don't pay up front and dont go with skanks or fat african birds!

[Redbaron]

I think there's a difference between not knowing much and enjoying playing with fire.

[TroyinEwa/Perv]

No way to delete posts, eh?

[kamui]

Paying upfront two times?

I guess it was the beer, that you forgot the basic rule never to do so...

 

In a sense you really had a sign pinned to your head.

Anway, sometimes we just start the day on the wrong foot.

Next time better

[gobbledonk]

Sorry Jack, but no need for any warning, at least not for the majority of BM's.

 

 

 

Yeah you did. What kind of idiot pays a girl up front, especially the skanks you were dealing with?!

 

 

 

No need to watch out, just don't pay up front and dont go with skanks or fat african birds!

 

 

I'm afraid I'm with Munchie on this - I am an eternal newbie, have been with way-too-many Soi 4 freelancers and have NEVER paid up front. I have given a girl (shock, horror) five hundred baht for having the fortitude to sit and drink till the sun came up when her friends faded, but anyone who wants more than that needs to join me at Casa Nana. I havent met a girl yet who didnt understand the way that worked - to ask for the money up front is way out of order.

 

Jack, I kept reading your post waiting for the punch line, but it never came - I'm sure you were strung out from the flight, but mate, your choices astound me. I'm hoping this is all some kind of in-joke, for your sake as much as mine.

 

(PS Good luck with your ongoing battle with the demon drink, and I hope your next trip is better than this one)

[Flashermac]

Remind me never to go out for a night on the town with Jack.