The 'over 30' Mantra ...

[gobbledonk]

Almost from my first visit to Thailand, a lot of what I've read from Farang is something along the lines of 'if a Thai woman isn't married by 30, she is unlikely to find a Thai man'. Traditionally, that might well have been true, but with a higher divorce rate and more professional women in Thailand, surely that's changing ?

 

I'm not talking working girls here, but I think thats where a lot of the perception comes from. What holds true in Isaan may not be the case in CM or BKK. Thoughts ?

[Julian2]

Still true Gobble, particularly if they are from out of town and university educated.

My wife has three nieces, all with degrees, around 30, good jobs, attractive and the local lads don't want any part of them.

Unless they meet a farang they have no hope.

I suspect their sex life consists of occasional affairs with married Thai colleagues.

[Flashermac]

I have seen it happen so many times ... attractive, intelligent female archans at the university had put their education ahead of romance, and then almost panic when they near 30. Suddenly, you will see them with some Thai buffalo they wouldn't have given the time of day 5 years earlier. Next thing they know, they've married the guy and you are invitedd to the wedding reception (bringing along an envelope stuffed with money, of course).

 

These receptions tend to be interesting, since like as not there is a royal representative (usually an out of favour politician or has been general who got stuck with the job). And you will meet many of your older female colleagues' husbands, who probably are also ordinary looking bozos the gals had grabbed in panic at 30.

 

I have discussed this in high level speaking classes, and the girls always give the male students a shock. Unanimously, they say will only marry if they find someone they like, and that they would rather stay single than marry just to avoid being called an old maid. They also say they would be delighted to marry a Farang, which I presume to be true from seeing a fair number of them with Farang boyfriends!

 

Years ago a female colleague told me every one of his friends would love to marry a Farang, but had no opportunity to meet one. And the Farangs generally married BGs simply because they were the only Thai women they had a chance to meet. Someone is missing a good chance to be a matchmaker between educated Thai women and foreigners seeking something more than a BG with a 6th grade education (and maybe a husband she isn't mentioning).

[Julian2]

I suspect that your average sex tourist/sexpat couldn't be bothered with them regardless of all the bullshit "I want a GTG" posts you read on forums.

But they go into the bar scene vowing that they are not interested in a relationship but it is a fact of life that if you start banging someone regularly something else besides hormones cuts in.

[Flashermac]

My old neighbour married a secondary school teacher he had met through his work. Quite a few of her colleagues decided they would like a Farang too. I actually saw the guy doing his best to get Farangs interested in meeting a GTG, but with no luck - not even with a guy who had already divorced a BG wife after he caught her cheating on him in the States. In reality, I know more expats with non-working girl wifes than with BGs. Several have married into wealthy Chinese-Thai families. Still, the average Farang coming here is not willing to invest the time it gets to know a non-BG. It is so much easier just to buy a cola and pay her bar fine.

 

p.s. Let me state again that I have nothing against marry a BG. Just go into it with your eyes wide open and without the BS about "this one being different". Realise that you are walking into a minefield and good luck.

[Guest lazyphil]

I have seen it happen so many times ... attractive, intelligent female archans at the university had put their education ahead of romance, and then almost panic when they near 30. Suddenly, you will see them with some Thai buffalo they wouldn't have given the time of day 5 years earlier. Next thing they know, they've married the guy and you are invitedd to the wedding reception (bringing along an envelope stuffed with money, of course).

 

These receptions tend to be interesting, since like as not there is a royal representative (usually an out of favour politician or has been general who got stuck with the job). And you will meet many of your older female colleagues' husbands, who probably are also ordinary looking bozos the gals had grabbed in panic at 30.

 

I have discussed this in high level speaking classes, and the girls always give the male students a shock. Unanimously, they say will only marry if they find someone they like, and that they would rather stay single than marry just to avoid being called an old maid. They also say they would be delighted to marry a Farang, which I presume to be true from seeing a fair number of them with Farang boyfriends!

 

Years ago a female colleague told me every one of his friends would love to marry a Farang, but had no opportunity to meet one. And the Farangs generally married BGs simply because they were the only Thai women they had a chance to meet. Someone is missing a good chance to be a matchmaker between educated Thai women and foreigners seeking something more than a BG with a 6th grade education (and maybe a husband she isn't mentioning).

 

 

you got my email address-do the right thing by me and give me a fightin' chance from a life of farang purgatory!

[Flashermac]

I know a number of 28 to 30-ish female Thai archans, all very nice people. Unfortunately, I notice they are getting a bit pudgy these days - not a good thing to do if you want to land a man.

[dave32]

but it is a fact of life that if you start banging someone regularly something else besides hormones cuts in.

 

Well put.

[gobbledonk]

Flash, as much as I really want to believe every word you have typed, I have a couple of observations:

 

- I've seen some pretty ordinary looking Thai men, but even their 'buffaloes' aren't a patch on the Farang equivalent ! Something to think about the next time you are on a flight with a guy who really should have paid for two seats. Or chartered his own Russian transport plane.

 

- no question that Thai people, including women, are getting bigger (thank you Colonel Sanders..), but again I rarely see a Thai lady with calves like an All Black forward pack. They still look good to me, and there is a point at which I actually prefer a woman with a little meat on her bones.

 

- ask your Thai lady friends who want to meet a Farang if they are prepared to relocate. To Canada. Or Chiang Rai. You might be surprised by their answers.

 

KS made a suggestion weeks ago - spend the next two years trying to learn enough Thai to at least break the ice. Sure, I'll get the pronunciation all wrong, and people will laugh, but surely that's better than having nothing more than 'Khun pasa Angritt, dai mai ?' ? After music and mathematics, I'm assured that alcohol really is the universal language.

[Julian2]

I know a number of 28 to 30-ish female Thai archans, all very nice people. Unfortunately, I notice they are getting a bit pudgy these days - not a good thing to do if you want to land a man.

We had a young guy stay with us last year... mid thirties, presentable, unmarried but definitely not gay.

The Mrs was quite taken with him and I thought she might introduce him around the nieces and when he left I asked her why she hadn't.

She said match making was a fool's game and there was no way she was taking the fall for someone else's bad decision just because she had been involved in them meeting.