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Certainly Not The Best


sayjann

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She IS snubbing you. You are setting your next trip up for another bad one. Cut your losses and don't have any thoughts of returning to her bar again. She'll know when you are in town and if she wants to see you, she will find you. The bargirl telegraph works waaaay better than you can imagine.

 

My advice from experience, forget her and even if she wants to see you, forget her anyway.

 

you have probably never read my stories properly.

she works/worked in a bar owned by friends of mine for 11 years or so,so should i not go and say hello to my friends and have a good time because she MIGHT be there?. :doah:

if she is still working there then it's her choice if she approaches me and wants to be friends and if so i will be so happy.

i have said that i will be willing to see her for all of my trip and would be happy.

 

i have friends in the bar and why should i not go to the bar and see them because there MIGHT be a chance of her being there?.

so you are saying i should abandon the bar and not see friends i have known for many years because she MIGHT still be working there?... :hmmm:

 

even IF i was'nt to visit her bar she will certainly know i'm in town.

i have many experiences of the BG mafia but mainly good in the long run.

 

in our last conversation she admitted seeing me most days in various places but was embarrassed about approaching me because she felt bad about what had happened on our 1st night.

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She IS snubbing you. You are setting your next trip up for another bad one. Cut your losses and don't have any thoughts of returning to her bar again. She'll know when you are in town and if she wants to see you, she will find you. The bargirl telegraph works waaaay better than you can imagine.

 

My advice from experience, forget her and even if she wants to see you, forget her anyway.

 

Yep, I thought the same. This was Sayann's problem all the time. In his mind he still hasn't moved on. And he isn't even aware of this. dunno.gif

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Yep, I thought the same. This was Sayann's problem all the time. In his mind he still hasn't moved on. And he isn't even aware of this. dunno.gif

 

ok,no problem.............

 

it seems the advice is to drop friends of many years because of 1 lady who MIGHT be in their bar at the time.

she is just 1 person who has a choice if she wants to see me when i arrive.

i cannot force her to be with me against her wishes and i will just move on,quite easy really.

but i don't see that i should stop seeing friends of many years because she MIGHT be in the area.

 

but i'll take peoples advice and shun friends who have been good to me over the years.

is the advice to boycott all the bars where i feel comfortable and have many friends?.... :dunno:

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ok,no problem.............

 

it seems the advice is to drop friends of many years because of 1 lady who MIGHT be in their bar at the time.

she is just 1 person who has a choice if she wants to see me when i arrive.

i cannot force her to be with me against her wishes and i will just move on,quite easy really.

but i don't see that i should stop seeing friends of many years because she MIGHT be in the area.

 

but i'll take peoples advice and shun friends who have been good to me over the years.

is the advice to boycott all the bars where i feel comfortable and have many friends?.... :dunno:

 

Don't shun your friends

 

Think hard about your 1 girl, and make an effort to encourage her if that's what you really want, if she's just another girl, then be friends. Sometimes you have to take the relationship out of the contextual setting and examine it in the clear light of day.

 

I know this is advice from a guy (me) who has been pursuing a girl (Lao) for more than a year now, after knowing her 7 years and still getting nowhere, but reading some of the reactions to your posts, I reckon this is what you could do. Oh and I'm no expert, your mileage may vary.

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She IS snubbing you. You are setting your next trip up for another bad one. Cut your losses and don't have any thoughts of returning to her bar again. She'll know when you are in town and if she wants to see you, she will find you. The bargirl telegraph works waaaay better than you can imagine.

 

Have to agree sj - I wouldn't avoid any places because of her though, but I would not be returning with the hope of a reunion... time to move on. Sure visit your friends' bars, doesn't matter who works there (her or others) just don't build up hope for a reunion with her for the next 4 months - you'll be disappointed again.

she is just 1 person who has a choice if she wants to see me when i arrive.

 

If I were you I wouldn't give HER a choice... "Sorry love, I've moved on" is all she needs to hear. SJ you have continually noted "up to her" in your posts/stories, if you wish to avoid disappointment in the future, I think you should simply move on. Plenty of fish in the sea and all that. Then again, what do I know - I'll bet you give her one more chance...

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She IS snubbing you. You are setting your next trip up for another bad one. Cut your losses and don't have any thoughts of returning to her bar again. She'll know when you are in town and if she wants to see you, she will find you. The bargirl telegraph works waaaay better than you can imagine.

 

Have to agree sj - I wouldn't avoid any places because of her though, but I would not be returning with the hope of a reunion... time to move on. Sure visit your friends' bars, doesn't matter who works there (her or others) just don't build up hope for a reunion with her for the next 4 months - you'll be disappointed again.

she is just 1 person who has a choice if she wants to see me when i arrive.

 

If I were you I wouldn't give HER a choice... "Sorry love, I've moved on" is all she needs to hear. SJ you have continually noted "up to her" in your posts/stories, if you wish to avoid disappointment in the future, I think you should simply move on. Plenty of fish in the sea and all that. Then again, what do I know - I'll bet you give her one more chance...

 

it's a difficult situation for me.

i like her a lot and as i have said in the past i cannot be bothered to trawl the bars each night looking for a bedmate.

i would be happy seeing her each day(while getting a bit of extra elsewhere)but as i say it's her choice.

if i go into her bar and she is friendly and wants to come with me then i will be happy.

i would be happy and comfortable with her knowing what i'm getting and knowing what to expect.

if not then i move on.

 

as i say it's HER choice if she wants to spend time with me,i can do nothing about her decision.

but as you say there are plenty more fish in the sea and while that thought does not really make me happy it will be done.

i just get fed up taking ladies who cause a problem at the hotel.

but this is not a relationship,it's a holiday fling for me.

i know she will be looking for another man as soon as i have left and good luck to her.

at xmas/new year which of course is high season i never saw any of the staff BF'd,except 2 ladies who were long-time companions of a couple of guys.

her bar is a little off the beaten track and very few customers so in low season she MIGHT have little oppurtunity to earn that extra cash.

 

i will not go with any expectations and just see how things work out.

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<< I know this is advice from a guy (me) who has been pursuing a girl (Lao) for more than a year now, after knowing her 7 years and still getting nowhere. >>

 

I met my Mrs when she was my university student. Took me about 7 years to finally get my hands on her. Good to know I'm not alone. :p

 

 

 

 

 

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I predict she will be all lovey-dovey on your return. It is the difference between peak season and low season.hubbahubba.gif

 

if she is i will be very happy.

it's good to spend time with someone you like,know and are comfortable with.

but as i say if i need to move on then i will.

she is part of the reason i am going back to Phuket,but not the most important reason.

if i see her then i see her,if not then i look elsewhere.

 

that's why i like my regular bars,i get no hassle from the staff as i know them and their is respect on both sides.

if either side does not want to speak to the other for whatever reason then never a problem.

i don't get hassled for ladydrinks every 5 minutes but when i do buy a drink it is gratefully received.

i just like a nice relaxed atmosphere wher i can just relax.

 

if i see my gal and she is friendly and wanting to play games,chat,sit with me then i will be happy,but if she stills does not want to come with me then i accept that.

it will mean we have sort of made up and i will be happy.

i don't want to be disliked by anyone and espiecally someone who in the past has treated me well/looked after me/sorted out some small problems and generally a nice person to spend time with.

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