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Let's Pretend I Was Never In Patts In Feb, 2012 ...


gobbledonk

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OK, Pattaya - you won. Your heat, humidity and Russian hordes took me down for the count, and I spent way too much time and money with sweet Mon and her cadre of entertainment specialists on some godforsaken Soi down near Bukhao. I need to get a whole lot thinner, richer and tougher by 2014 - that, or give up drinking completely.

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Dear Gobbledonk,

 

I don't understand a word of what you want to tell us.

Can you explain your text for us?

Please give us an interpretation of your utterances or - better - babbles.

 

 

I need to get a whole lot thinner, richer and tougher by 2014 - that, or give up drinking completely.

 

By 2014?? The new year 2012 is about 7 weeks old.

So you would like to be "a whole lot thinner, richer and tougher by" 2012! Right?

 

By the way:

Pattaya always wins.

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Dear Gobbledonk,

 

I don't understand a word of what you want to tell us.

Can you explain your text for us?

Please give us an interpretation of your utterances or - better - babbles.

 

 

 

 

By 2014?? The new year 2012 is about 7 weeks old.

So you would like to be "a whole lot thinner, richer and tougher by" 2012! Right?

 

By the way:

Pattaya always wins.

 

 

 

 

Whoa, who woke you up? :wave:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I know - I broke my vow - but I think it has cured me of Patts for many years to come. Heard that the Russkis have also invaded Vietnam in huge numbers, so I had better start brushing up on my knife defence technique and look for something in PI. Sure, nothing to do but shag and drink, but I dont remember spending too much time at the Pattaya Cultural Institute discussing the finer points of the wai ....

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Okay, I'll pretend. Where should we pretend you were?

 

Lets pretend I was at home in bed, cause that's exactly where I wish I was right now. My 'Welcome to Australia' moment was when I entered the concourse to the sound of 3 Lebanese guys arguing loudly. Do I miss Thailand ? Sure. Do I miss Patts ? Er, I'll get back to you on that. (Really need to get up to the provinces to see if there is anyone left between the ages of 18 and 40).

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Were you in Patts Gobble? I was there a week ago, soi Bukhao and must say it was a bit of a shock to the system

 

I was the hot, sweaty Farang trying to dodge you as you wove through the motorbike mayhem and the scourge of the footpath, the mobile food vendor pushing his cart down the Soi. Bukhao is particularly insane - it was clearly never meant to handle the current volume of traffic but, in typical Thai style, no-one seems to care.

 

Also, is it just me or is the humidity much worse in the morning in Patts than it is in the afternoon ? Perhaps its those famous sea breezes (ha !) that blow the stickiness away, but I'm making it my mission in life to remain in a hammock till at least midday from now on. Screw airconditioned hotel rooms - what you need is a hammock between two palm trees and a legion of lovelies whose sole function is to attend to your every whim. :grinyes:

 

(PS I always come away impressed by the ability of the Thais to work in the heat and congestion of their cities - if the construction workers on the site next to my hotel are the same 'lazy' folk who occupy houses all over Isaan, what does that make those of us who couldn't do a single day in those conditions ?)

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(PS I always come away impressed by the ability of the Thais to work in the heat and congestion of their cities - if the construction workers on the site next to my hotel are the same 'lazy' folk who occupy houses all over Isaan, what does that make those of us who couldn't do a single day in those conditions ?)

 

I am impressed by their heat tolerance too. But it's generational climate conditioning. I come from a line, that think nothing of rowing a longship (link), about the Atlantic, in the middle of winter storms, and then embarking on rape, pillage and burn, on arrival. I reckon Somchai would expire from the cold after a day or so.

 

Come to think of it, some of my ilk are still embarking on rape, pillage and burn, on arrival in Pattaya in the present day.

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