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Thai Bar Girl, Now My Wife


think_too_mut

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She is sitting 3m from me, with headphones and watching Thai soapies over the net.

 

Since 2002. she has completed elementary (grades 7-8), then high school, then not really an University but tertiary education. Under my watch and help. Her peers have jobs in Bangkok, Singapore and Hong Kong, all employed.

 

Our daughter (the only child), is about to perform a ballet in front of 2,000 people on April 14.

 

Not all is good. The reminiscances of what had driven her to the bar are (to me) visible. At first, I thought there was no a flaw of the character. Now, think twice.

 

She was one of the millions of abandoned kids, left in the sticks with grandmothers and with no parents who went to labour on Japanese investment projects and factories. That situation leaves lasting consequences. Turns them into bad mothers and bad wifes. They grew up with low emotional intelligence. Hard to form a relationship or maintain it.

 

That is at least, one thing that Stick and most of the people here do not understand. An example, the famous jealousy of BGs. It's a reflect of being abandoned, left out by own parents. Eternal insecurity.

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Once a lady decides to sell herself for money, everything changes.

The bar scene can be fun for them. Some man buying them drinks, telling them how beautiful they are...night after night after night...

 

From what I have seen, limited as it may be, is when the lady sells herself for money, it

is a path that they can never fully exit. It remains with them forever. They may have the reasons firmly planted in their minds as that is the only way they can live with what they have done.

 

For the man that marries a BG, he will always have some doubts. She sold herself once, she may do it again. It is a weak foundation to try to build a relationship but it can be done.

 

The man will have to be very understanding and patient, IMO.

 

I'm sure there are volumes of physco-babble on this topic that may explain things :dunno:

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I taught 5th and 6th graders for two terms long ago in an industrial part of Bangkok, the southwest. I was amazed at how almost every student was being raised by a grandmother. The forms sent home to be signed had a blank that said something like "person responsible" instead of parent. That was a real eye opener to me.

 

Some of them were the nicest kids, the girls especially. It was heart breaking to realise they probably had a rather dismal future ahead of them. For many, the nightlife would probably be viewed as a step up - a way possibly to escape the poverty they had seen every day of their young lives. I couldn't blame anyone who followed that route. It is a wonder that more of them do not. I never bad mouth bargirls. It is a hard road they have chosen, but maybe the best one that was available.

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Once a lady decides to sell herself for money, everything changes.

The bar scene can be fun for them. Some man buying them drinks, telling them how beautiful they are...night after night after night...

 

From what I have seen, limited as it may be, is when the lady sells herself for money, it

is a path that they can never fully exit. It remains with them forever. They may have the reasons firmly planted in their minds as that is the only way they can live with what they have done.

 

For the man that marries a BG, he will always have some doubts. She sold herself once, she may do it again. It is a weak foundation to try to build a relationship but it can be done.

 

The man will have to be very understanding and patient, IMO.

 

I'm sure there are volumes of physco-babble on this topic that may explain things :dunno:

 

She has acquired official diplomas, passing the exams, to the level perhaps higher than some of the Board members.

 

In that way, she was "different". But the root cause is hard to weed out.

 

For my Oz friends, a BG in Thai could be an equivalent of and Aborigional girl, with no front teeth, alcoholic and on drugs going prostitute. Not even Aboriginals would have a go at her.

 

That is what we take in Thai. Some, with lots of effort, can prop them up.

 

Where is GTG? She knew all of that. I apologized to her, in public and in a PM. She was right. A mainstream Thai.

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OMG

 

How delusional are you, the knight in shining armour, Please don't affect me with your fantasies, so pathetic.

 

Who the hell would make a post such as "I Married a Whore" , you are using her to massage your own ego, and quite badly IMHO.

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I taught 5th and 6th graders for two terms long ago in an industrial part of Bangkok, the southwest. I was amazed at how almost every student was being raised by a grandmother. The forms sent home to be signed had a blank that said something like "person responsible" instead of parent. That was a real eye opener to me.

 

Some of them were the nicest kids, the girls especially. It was heart breaking to realise they probably had a rather dismal future ahead of them. For many, the nightlife would probably be viewed as a step up - a way possibly to escape the poverty they had seen every day of their young lives. I couldn't blame anyone who followed that route. It is a wonder that more of them do not. I never bad mouth bargirls. It is a hard road they have chosen, but maybe the best one that was available.

 

Believe me or not, what you said is exactly what we don't understand.

 

Have they chosen that road?

 

No. They have no idea what it means. They come drunk, drugged, raped, damaged in every possible way. No choice that they make, more like an instinct there could be some money from someone. What kind of girls do that? In a conservative society as Thai is, who does that?

 

Pretty much Thai social rejects that meet their western breethen.

 

Our public figure, Stick, does not understand that. He still says things like "fresh off the farm" as if healthy girls in the school system come to become available to us.

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OMG

 

How delusional are you, the knight in shining armour, Please don't affect me with your fantasies, so pathetic.

 

Who the hell would make a post such as "I Married a Whore" , you are using her to massage your own ego, and quite badly IMHO.

 

What? She is real, in our house now. KS has seen her when she was deeply pregnant.

 

Yes, she was a bargirl.

 

Is it a problem that (now) she has more school than you?

 

Did you see the drawbacks?

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I very much doubt that Son

 

[Removed - KS]

 

Good that you have said that.

 

My ex-BG and now wife is upstairs, sleeping. So is our daughter.

 

You see, the life of a former BG (with Uni class diploma) can be shit in Japan. While piggybacking on a B-747 captain salary of her husband. She does not understand the money but she knows something and someone is paying the bills.

 

That's life with a whore, if you will.

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