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Vietnam - Ha Noi


Coss

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We'd decided to get out of the country to go to Vietnam for a few days. And it was on the sleeper 'Bus from Hell' we chose to do this. (Giggle it and you'll find many such references to this trip (VTE ~ Ha Noi)).

 

I'd arranged to meet the rest of the party at the bus station, and of course they were very late, some having got drunk at the office party before joining us.

 

I'd checked out this journey online, and as there were many, 'bus from hell' references, I'd taken the precaution of suggesting to our ticket boy, that we get seats in the middle, or towards the front of the bus, as Farangs &c were habitually seated in the back, where the seats were smaller and had no legroom. Bless his soul, I got a seat immediately behind the driver, this seat was half the length of the other seats, as a result I was to sit, crouch actually, for 24 hours, bar rest stops. Any suggestion to the Viet bus crew that I could change seats with a tiny person were met with open hostility.

 

A note: I am about to wade into the Viet bus crew, and later, I will do similar to the Viet boat crew, and various hotel staff. This is not to say I have no tolerance for the Vietnamese, on the contrary, I do like, the ordinary people that I met, the shopkeepers and such, they were delightful. So please understand, my negativity is applied to those to whom, I gave money for a service and from whom, a modicum of pleasantness, or indeed service, could be expected, in the delivery of said service.

 

So, it is 7pm, raining, I am shoe-horned into a vinyl clad - half seat, as is my companion, next to me. We'd expected a double level bus with two levels of sleeper seats, but on arrival we'd been told that there were not enough bookings so we'd go on a smaller bus, with one level of seats. No-one told the booking clerk. As we were fully loaded and about to leave, 25 backpackers turned up and an argument ensued. From what I could understand, they'd booked and paid, the bus lady said 'bus full' no refund, a police man was summoned. This went on for 40 minutes. Tempers getting really frayed. And the little Viet bus crew getting more and more abusive.

 

Then a solution was found. All the luggage that had been stowed under the sleeping bunks, was removed and stowed under the bus somewhere, 25 or so Viets were removed from the back few rows, of the bus, and told to get under the sleeper seats, backpackers replacing them in the back. All of this was done with loud shouting and aggressive pushing and shoving and abuse from the Viet bus crew. I saw the the bus lady smiling at times through this, no doubt pleased to have maximised the profit on this trip. So a big bus full of people, crammed into a small bus.

 

We left an hour late. As my companion and I were in the first row on one side and two others of the party were in the first row on the other side, this was where the bus crew chose to sit also, by simply sitting on the edge of the bunk, if they sat on your foot, they'd glare menacingly and shout at you until you moved the foot, sometimes they'd hit the foot before sitting on it. All of this at 100 km/h in the dark and the rain. So you pay for two full seats, get two half seats and Viet tyrant for free.

 

Not many stops, though one for a meal. And then we stop at the border at 3:30 am, to wait untill the border opens at 7.

 

Now the Viet bus crew really get nasty. They go through the bus collecting passports and money from the Viets, but not the tourists. These all go in a plastic bag. 'Ahh, efficiency' I hear you say…

 

When all of us Farangs &c have lined up at the immigration booths and the booths open, all the bus crews (there were some 30 buses waiting) dive in with their plastic bags and like little, smelly, malnourished rugby players, they scrimmage and ruck to get to the front, absolutely no shame. I held one back, but he just smiled and ducked under my arm to get past me. At one point I was submerged in these little c*nts. At this time, I'd had enough and I turned and like a giant erupting from a pile of lilliputians I forced my way out of the melee, scattering c*nts as I went. I tell you, if just one of them, had offered me any resistance, I'd have removed his head. A soldier, standing off to one side, had noticed this, and came forward. He cleared all the Viet c*nts from one of the three windows and motioned to the awaiting Farangs &c to use this window. The Viet c*nts, surprisingly, held their distance.

 

We then walked about a kilometre to the Viet border and for some reason, everything went smoothly. The next 10 or so hours went the same as the first. Uncomfortable bus, rude and abusive bus crew. At the end I was lame in one leg and had to be helped off the bus, I came right, after an hour. And thence to accommodation. We all, had resolved to never use this company again.

 

One thing I noted was that at the 7 police checkpoints we were stopped at, the bus lady just got off the bus and handed a few banknotes to the Police man, the bus, barely stopping at all. All but one however. In Vietnam, not all are corrupt. She got a ticket at this one, and back on the bus, she went beserk, shouting and screaming, making several phone calls to shout at other people, who'd had the sense, not to be on the bus and even hitting one of her staff, though I'd have hit him too, he was a little f**king c*nt.

 

 

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We were lucky to have a couple of friends in Ha Noi, as none of us spoke Vietnamese, our friends did however. We were taken to something they called a guesthouse. The rooms were not bad actually, large, spacious, aircon. And covered from floor to ceiling in what appeared to be phlegm and other bodily excretions. The bathroom, if clean, would have been quite nice, but for the years of filth, caking the walls and floor and ceiling. I asked to see other rooms and they were all the same. It was late at night and I said I'd move in the morning.

 

What we were staying in was a short time place. I noticed this the next day. The front of the "hotel" was open and had a plastic string curtain over it, a motorbike with a man and a woman would arrive, and they'd scurry upstairs. I spent the next day looking around and there were only, other short time places, nearby. I guess I'd have to lump it for a few days.

 

We spent a few days shopping and such, good food and nice people, I was starting to warm to the place.

 

Then we went to Ha Long Bay on a paid tour.

 

The tour guide picked us up, in a Mini Van that was already full. So somehow, 8 of us were crammed into this van, for a 3.5 hour journey. I suggested to the tour guide that he should get a second van, but he shouted at me and pointed to a space about two feet by one foot, where I could stand, leaning against the side door. Again I was lame in one leg when we arrived.

 

At Ha Long bay, the tour guide told us to 'wait here'. So we did, for two hours.

 

I'd been given a print-out in English, of the tour we were doing. At this point we'd missed the first half of the day one of the tour. We were then loaded on the boat which headed out to the islands. Lunch was served, with seating for about 80% of the guests. I asked Mr Tour Guide C*nt, where I could sit, he shouted and pointed at the floor between the tables. Some backpacker types, did sit there, but I gave up and went back on deck rather than lose my temper with the tour f**k.

 

We did get a look at some really good caves and the islands were beautiful, but the tour, bore no relation to the itinerary we'd been given. The hotel on the island was good, the food was good, the nightmarket &c were good. So we enjoyed the evening.

 

My compatriots had twigged, that the tour was not what we'd paid for, so we rose at 5 am, to travel over the hill to a beach where we swam before the tour started again.

 

When the tour did start again, it went straight back to the mainland, the fish farms and beaches we were supposed to visit, had obviously been stolen in the night. For the lunch we were promised, we were taken to a back street and seated in a room, not even a restaurant, with construction workers, coming and going with buckets and tools and such. The food? not horrible, but not a cent more than necessary spent on it. At least I got a seat for the 3.5 hour ride back to Ha Noi. Upon arrival we were dropped off, clear across town, from where we'd been picked up and were staying. An expensive taxi to home then.

 

The last couple of days, were spent shopping and so, and visiting the Ho Chi Min Mausoleum and Museum.

 

These last, were really quite impressive, the mausoleum with the old fella in it, was well presented, but I guess I'm not used to the soldiers looking like they want to shoot someone, who were in attendance. The museum was more of an art gallery and was really good. I can see where a lot of the university art students from the west get their ideas.

 

It came time to book the bus for home, I was ready to lay down instructions for appropriate seats, when someone suggested flying.

 

So we did, damn good idea. Laos airlines, the guy at the booking office even gave us a lift to the airport, check in was open early, boarding was early, we left early. In fact, the laid back, relaxed and friendly attitude of the Lao people, was so at contrast to the f**king nastiness, of the some of the Viets we had encountered, I'm not sure if I'll ever go to Vietnam again.

 

I don't want to put people off going to Vietnam, but If I had to do it again, I'd go up-market where a standard of service and behaviour could be guaranteed. Or I'd go with with a middle/upper class family or friends who live there.

 

Travelling in Vietnam at backpacker/independent tourist level, is not to be recommended. Some of these little f**king bastards have taken nastiness lessons and got high passmarks.

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Hi,

 

I can't imagine going through something like this. I would have long told them to fuck off and gone back. I refuse to take buses in SEA if the trip is any longer than 2-3 hrs.

 

I've seen/heard similar shit on minivans/buses here in Thailand as well. My wife mentioned that when she used to go home during the holidays she'd often have to stand on the bus for several hours, only 'place' available. She got charged full price for the 'priviledge'!

Many minivans also cram 4 people in a row of 3 seats, even going so far as to but a fold out plank in between the 2 seats you walk through to get further into the van.

 

Very happy we have our own car :)

 

Sanuk!

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Ask S Tsow about the trip he and his Mrs made overland to Angkor Wat with a Cambodia tour company. They were shown modern double decker tour buses by the tour company, and sure enough that is what took them to the Cambodian border. Once there, the tour buses turned back and they were all crammed into minivans for several days ride across poorly paved or even gravel roads. They paid for a flight back to Bangkok rather than do it again. Still, the Cambos weren't nasty.

 

I liked the South Vietnamese and really wanted to marry a certain one (nuff said). But I met a Viet from Hanoi on my first trip to Wiengchan in 1974. He was rude and downright nasty, much to his wife's embarrassment, since I was eating in their restaurant. I haven't met enough to say how typical that was, but I'd been told often enough by Southerners that Northerners were no good. (Politics aside, they hated the Northerners - told me the South had already fought two wars against the North.)

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Politics aside, they hated the Northerners - told me the South had already fought two wars against the North.

The way I heard it, way back when, North Vietnam and South Vietnam had been fighting off and on basically since before the dawn of recorded history, certainly for the last few thousand years, and the fight usually stalemated right around the DMZ. South Vietnam had all the good land, and North Vietnam wanted it.
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I'd checked out this journey online, and as there were many, 'bus from hell' references, I'd taken the precaution of suggesting to our ticket boy, that we get seats in the middle, or towards the front of the bus, as Farangs &c were habitually seated in the back, where the seats were smaller and had no legroom. Bless his soul, I got a seat immediately behind the driver, this seat was half the length of the other seats, as a result I was to sit, crouch actually, for 24 hours, bar rest stops. Any suggestion to the Viet bus crew that I could change seats with a tiny person were met with open hostility.

 

 

Thanks for the report!

 

BUT it seems that you tried to be more clever that all the travelers who reported about the "bus from hell".

 

The trip seems to be quite similar to the BKK-Siem Reap bus scam from Kao San road which is going on since over a decade.

 

Either you do it or you don't. There is nothing in between IMHO. If you do it you are in the hands of professional scammers who have dealt with angry Farangs since years - like they dealt with you.

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