Coss Posted July 15, 2012 Report Share Posted July 15, 2012 Infectious condition known to kill all joy, pleasure Link BANGKOK – The Health Ministry has issued its most serious health watch since the SARS outbreak of 2002, warning all Thais that the country is under threat of a major Mormon outbreak.The condition, originating in the central United States, is known to be highly contagious and in many cases terminal. Symptoms include pale, pimpled skin, social unpopularity, and a severe loss of pleasure and happiness in life. Virginity at the age of 30 is considered a major marker of the disease. “Those who have full-blown cases of Mormon rarely die from it, but experience a quality of life that’s almost not worth living,†said Health Minister Jurin Laksanawisit. “And the suffering it inflicts on the family is almost like losing a loved one.†A health official questions two suspected victims of Mormon. Carriers of Mormon, recognizable by their stylistically challenged wardrobe featuring pleated black slacks and short-sleeved white shirts, have been spotted in downtown Bangkok and as far upcounty as Udon Thani. Each carrier is capable of infecting dozens of others with Mormon. The Ministry further warned that communities that experience endemic wideepread Mormon are in danger of social collapse. “In the worst-case scenarios, entire cities can become empty of all arts and culture, lose all their diversity and interest in the real world around them, and even engage in a collective mania to build ugly marble buildings with gold statues on top.†Jurin was quick to point out that there was no need to panic, as many populations had demonstrated a natural resistance to Mormon, with the highest incidence of immunity recorded in large cities with vibrant, international culture. “The WHO guidelines for containing Mormon suggest that maintaining a sense of humor, keeping an open mind, and studying real American history can all decrease the chances of catching Mormon,†the minister said. “But the best cure is still prevention.†“If any pale, nerdy, white-shirted carriers carriers are spotted in public, avoid talking to them,†Jurin recommended. “I mean, even more than you would have anyway.†Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horneytorney Posted July 15, 2012 Report Share Posted July 15, 2012 now imagine that a government of a not so small country catches this desease! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gobbledonk Posted July 15, 2012 Report Share Posted July 15, 2012 Isn't there a law against evangelism in Thailand ? I could be getting LOS mixed up with the Muslim countries, but I thought there was. We have Mormons here, but I think they have realised just what they are up against here - we are way too dumb, drunk and racist to get on board with such a cleancut bunch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayT Posted July 15, 2012 Report Share Posted July 15, 2012 We have Mormons here. Yes, and there is a Mormon church in Bangkok. Do you suppose that it's filled with white boys from Utah or Thais? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashermac Posted July 15, 2012 Report Share Posted July 15, 2012 The LDS missionaries have been here for ages. That 30-year-old-virgin remark shows me how little the The Not The Nation folks know about anything. Most Mormons marry very young, so they do their shagging in the bounds of their church. And Gobbie, which planet are you from? It was a Protestant medical missionary who had the first Thai language printing press made (in India) and ended up printing all of King Mongkut's proclamations. That was Dr. Dan Beach Bradley, who founded Bangkok Christian College (not that they know that there - they don't). He also performed the first surgery in Thailand. That was nearly 200 years ago! Protestant missionaries introduced potatoes and Indian corn in the 19th century. The late Princess Mother learned English with American missionaries, just as King Mongkut had long before that. The Protestant denominations have divided up the country. The Baptists and Methodists have the north, the Lutherans the South ... or whatever. The Mormons are the oddballs (naturally) who are everywhere. I remember in the 1970s when it was discovered they exceeded their quota. (You are allowed so many missionaries depending on your church's membership in Thailand.) As a result, some of the young Mormon "elders" got shipped off to Malaysia, which they were not too happy about. They'd worked hard to become fluent in Thai, and now they had to learn another language and preach to Muslims. p.s. On googling, I see LDS claims a membership of 16,195 in Thailand. I'd take that with a dash of nam pla. One of my students years ago had been Baptists as a Mormon. I asked him if he believed all that. He said no, but it seemed to mean so much to them that he didn't want to tell them no. So he got dunked! Bet there are more like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gobbledonk Posted July 17, 2012 Report Share Posted July 17, 2012 Fair enough - religion is an odd beast. Ipoh has some beautiful old churches in line with its large Chinese population - just havent seen anything like that in Thailand. I remember standing in Fed Square in Melbourne with a girl from Udon in 2008 when she noticed a cathedral. 'Buddha ?' 'Er, yeah - sort of ...' No point getting into a theological discussion about something neither of us had any intention of pursuing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted July 17, 2012 Report Share Posted July 17, 2012 Ipoh has some beautiful old churches in line with its large Chinese population - just havent seen anything like that in Thailand. you should get out more, some very nice churches right in Bangkok ! BB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamui Posted July 17, 2012 Report Share Posted July 17, 2012 you should get out more, some very nice churches right in Bangkok ! BB Where? Hopefully near Soi Cowboy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted July 17, 2012 Report Share Posted July 17, 2012 Where? Hopefully near Soi Cowboy. Of course, SC is also a church ! no kidding, there is one on soi 19, if memory serves me well.... but here is a list : http://bangkokcompanies.com/categories/thai_companies_p695.htm BB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamui Posted July 17, 2012 Report Share Posted July 17, 2012 Of course, SC is also a church ! no kidding, there is one on soi 19, if memory serves me well.... but here is a list : http://bangkokcompan...panies_p695.htm BB There is one near Nana according to your website. If they are looking for sinners, that's the perfect location for a church. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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