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The Wonders Of Driving In The Glorious Democratic People's Republic Of Laos.


Coss

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I've been here sometime now, and have developed firm views on the skills or lack thereto of the local drivers.

 

Firstly, in Vientiane the speed at which everyone travels is usually 20~30 kmh, a speed at which I suggest and will later demonstrate, people can have accidents on motorbikes and survive with few if any injuries.

 

My friends in Laos (the Lao ones) are as worried and fearful of traffic as anyone in the West, demonstrating, one assumes, due regard for the difficulties and dangers of venturing into said traffic.

 

However any casual observation will lead one to conclude, that much like other poorly developed countries, the average driver seems not to know, any of the skills or behaviors that we in the West, take for granted.

 

I'll list a few of the incidents I've observed.

 

Once whilst waiting to turn into a busy road from a side street I saw a moto with two lads on it, just fall over. Not hit by anyone, not involved in any situation, just fell over, the boy had lost momentary control. They picked themselves up and carried on.

 

Once whilst waiting to turn into a busy road from a side street, I, in a large and visible stationary pick-up, in broad daylight, almost had the pleasure of meeting a girl, who, travelling against the flow of traffic, on the wrong side of the road, in that small space between the parked cars and the opposing traffic, had decided to cut the corner into the side street where I was waiting, in my large automobile. Well the look of surprise on her face as she was confronted with the large automobile, which had been clearly visible to her for some 50 metres, was delightful. She promptly fell of her bike. And then picked herself up and took off again.

 

At first when I started driving the pick-up, I would leave a safe following distance between me and the vehicle I was trailing, as we're all accustomed to doing. This taught me one of my first lessons. To leave any navigable space in front of me, is to invite anyone behind me, to overtake and fill that space. It doesn't matter what the speed or conditions are, children on the road, policeman waving at something, doesn't matter. The rule seems to be, if there's a space, fill it. So it was that some poor bastard felt the consequences of this new-found (to me) rule.

 

I was travelling along a newish and unobstructed road behind a lad on a moto. He was one of those debonair, cool guys who'd obviously finally got his partially assembled moto to function and was off on a tour of the environs to demonstrate this to the female populace. He was sitting, slightly side saddle, black jeans, rock anthem T-shirt, one hand on hip, the other on the throttle and tossing his head back to flick his hair every 10 meters or so. I thought to myself, I might back off a little in case this tosser falls off his bike. It's just as well I did because almost immediately a large Toyota Hi-Lux Vigo thingy, inserted itself into the space I'd created, invoking no-doubt, the rule I've just discussed.

 

This of course, left no room for the moto boy, who, when struck by the Toyota, performed many somersaults down the road, in parallel with his somersaulting bike. The Toyota took off. I pulled over, The boy got up and seeing that he was relatively in one piece, decided to chase the Toyota, but he couldn't get his bike started, whereupon a bystander, invited him to hop on the back of his bike and off they went in pursuit.

 

Now I'm not unappreciative of the dangers moto drivers face, as I drive one also, very easy to park in the city. Another of the unwritten rules seems to be, that motos flow like ants. So a car, making a turn or other maneuver, will do so very slowly so that the motos flow around it without consequence, like just so many ants. This works, so long as the motos remember that they are ants. In my pick-up, I was making a u-turn on a major road, I'd even left room for the motos, I was moving an a snail's pace, very slow. All the motos flowed around, as they do, until one. I didn't see him coming, but he and his girlfriend arrived at warp speed, clipped the front of me and sprawled in disarray on the road. Ouch! Mean-while motos flowed around. The bike they'd been riding was one that can often be seen and noted as "hopped up". They take all the fairings off, strip off things like speedometers to save weight and do what can be done to increase the power of the 100 or 110 cc engine.

 

So into a TukTuk and off to hospital for them. Me, I call insurance guy, and my sweetheart, who then calls Nora Batty. Subsequently all players return to or arrive at the accident scene. After some form filling, some photos, some witness accounts and the TukTuk driver ripping us off, a conclusion was reached. My insurance would pay for the bike and their medical costs. My car had two very minor scratches, I'm not bothered about fixing them. Everyone departs happy.

 

Some observations...

 

First, it was established that it was their fault. Second, that they were poor students. Third, all the Lao agree, Insurance should pay - even the Insurance guy agrees. No skin off my nose, I'd already paid the premium and there was no excess. The Lao way is to come to an agreement, suitable to all. When I was questioning sweetie about this later, I got to understand that I had made merit by helping out the less fortunate, and that this was the Lao way.

 

Also, Nora Batty, when she arrived, had them standing up straight and answering questions properly, she even knocked the TukTuk guy back by half in his exorbitant demands.

 

And, a point of vast amusement for me. When the girlfriend on the back of the bike had arrived so inelegantly, she'd been wearing her crash helmet, on her arm like a hand bag. When the insurance guy asked, "were you wearing a helmet?", she replied "of course", he says "then how did you get the scratch on your head you're complaining about?", she says "the helmet came off!". Obviously, in an accident, what happens if you're wearing a helmet is, that you have the accident, then the helmet comes off, then you damage the head...

 

And to cap it off, so to speak, when all was done and we left the scene, she was on the back of her boyfriend's bike, helmet on her arm, like a hand bag.

 

This has made me more wary than I was before, of speeding dick-heads on hopped up eggbeaters.

 

So you can imaging my surprise when some weeks later, driving my moto, I find myself sprawled over the bonnet of a SUV.

 

Again I note that speeds of 20~30 kmh are a blessing, otherwise I'd be seriously injured.

 

I was travelling on my moto, in the inside lane of two, in heavy, slow moving traffic. The van to my immediate left, slowed slightly, allowing an (unseen to me) SUV to make a turn in front of the van and also me. So quickly did this happen that I really don't remember the accident's action, only the sensation that the bonnet of this SUV was rather warm.

 

Another point that's often seen as urban myth but I will stand by, when you have an accident in a relaxed state, you sustain less injury. And so it seemed to me. I have cuts and abrasions to both legs of a relatively minor nature, a stubbed big toe, and a bruised knee. The rest of me was protected by my beer-bag, er, belly, a large and marshmallow like bag of fat, when empty.

 

I extricated myself, from the bike and SUV, and now I realize I was suffering some slight shock. As it happened, a lady I know, fluent in English had been two cars back and had seen the whole thing. She negotiated for me (much to my sweetie's consternation, but no harm done). But not before a French Guy (thank you sir if you read this) had got of his moto and roundly abused the Lao driver of the SUV in fluent Lao but in true gallic style.

 

So the result was this, he'd pay for the damage to my bike. I refused his offer of a hospital visit. And though all were concerned about my quite good looking injuries, I assured them I'd suffered worse and that this latest collection only required me to rest and recuperate, any visit to the hospital was unnecessary cost.

 

I then drove the bike, handle bars at 45 degrees and bits of fairing and plastics trailing, to the Suzuki shop I'd bought it from, some 1 km distant.

 

And once the estimate was presented and agreed to, I got to pick up, my now, new looking bike the next morning, some 19 hours after the accident. I can't see that happening in the west.

 

I hope I don't get to add to this missive, but if something happens, I will :)

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And another note...

 

This theory was told to me by a middle aged feminist woman of the larger kind who came out here with the Peace Corps.

 

In Laos ( and Thailand) especially on bikes, men are bad drivers, but women are worse.

 

The reason for this is:

 

when boys start learning to drive a bike they take risks, have accidents and races and generally develop a skill set.

 

when girls start learning to drive a bike, they adjust the mirrors so they can see their makeup, and then sail off into the traffic like a float in a parade, their beauty obvious for all to see...

 

This is very apparent around here, in fact one of my recently developed skills is, when behind a bike with a woman on it, to look at her wing mirrors, if I can see her face, well and good, she can see me, if I can see sky, I know that the mirrors are for makeup and I am careful, as she is likely to make a turn in front of me.

 

The number of women on bikes, I see cutting across two lanes of car and truck traffic without looking, beggars belief. And they do it with all the confidence of a debutante being awarded a prize at a dressage event.

 

This is not to say that the blokes are much better, but they do tend to look first.

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In my days as a young volunteer in a kinder gentler Thailand, I always rode a bicycle. One days as I pedalled east through town, a Thai girl in teens looked to the west... and then dashed across the road straight into me! She knocked me over, and stared down at me with an expression that meant "Where the hell did you come from?" I got up and she wai-ed me. Then she continued running down the road.

 

I remember the comment of a PC colleague on our first day in LOS, as he watched the traffic speeding down the streets of Bangkok. (This was 1973, when Bangkok Thais all thought they were F1 drivers.) "This is what happens when you force the 20th Century on a country that is not ready for it!"

 

Same same Laos today.

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"This theory was told to me by a middle aged feminist woman of the larger kind who came out here with the Peace Corps."

 

Ooh, those can be nasty. Many of them joined the Peace Corps in hopes of landing a husband. Foolishly, instead of going to Baluchistan or Upper Revolta, they came to SE Asia ... where their chances of snagging a male PCV are about the same as being hit by a meteorite in a cave.

 

I made the mistake of mentioning Farang men to one, who immediately launched into a tirade, saying half the men were here for Thai women and the other half for Thai boys! I thought to myself that it might help if she lost 30 pounds and didn't dress like a male construction worker, but I obviously knew better than to say that to her. :shakehead

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The more I read about driving styles in SEA,the less enthusiastic I am to join in.The only exception might be if I lived in a small village in the middle of nowhere and a moto was the only way of getting about. :chinaman:

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great report coss as usual & good on you to try to push a SUV out of your way lol.

thinking about it I'm quite surprised I'm yet to file any accident claim in bkk/los...

the women there (driving cars mainly) ... makeup, social media and all ... drive quite good ;)

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I reckon that Thai's are better drivers than Lao, but because they drive a hell of a lot faster, they are more dangerous. My view is that because the Lao drive (generally) so slowly, accidents are more frequent but cause less harm...

 

 

Coss I am glad nothing bent out of shape other than SUV bonnet!

Thanks for that

The more I read about driving styles in SEA,the less enthusiastic I am to join in.The only exception might be if I lived in a small village in the middle of nowhere and a moto was the only way of getting about. :chinaman:

Yes it's daunting, I still spend the first few minutes of any journey, cursing the idiocy of the other drivers.

great report coss as usual & good on you to try to push a SUV out of your way lol.

thinking about it I'm quite surprised I'm yet to file any accident claim in bkk/los...

the women there (driving cars mainly) ... makeup, social media and all ... drive quite good ;)

My take on that is that car drivers are very cautious due to the cost of scratching their status symbol.

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"My take on that is that car drivers are very cautious due to the cost of scratching their status symbol."

 

sure that explains why the ferraris, lamgs, porches et all are always 'blocking' the traffic at their snail pacing but for the rest...majority..insane...fatalistic drivers...it must be pure luck all around..because speeding & keeping only inches between bonnet to bonnet regardless of speed is the norm :)

 

kinda corresponds well what all the the typical driving 'test' focus on: colors (stop at red light) & braking (anything & everything bigger/faster than your own vehicle) ;)

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Years ago I was visiting Amsterdam in Europe. I was standing on a street corner at a busy intersection when suddenly a beautiful woman flew past me :surprised: -- literally, she was airborne in a prone position -- and landed on the steet a few meters away. She had gone over the handle bar on her (non-motorized) bike. She got up, unhurt, as if it was nothing unusual and picked up a pebble nearby on the pavement. Apparently it was the pebble that caused the bike to summersault. I probably would have forgotten about this if it weren't for the fact that it involved a beautiful woman :worship: in a very embarrassing situation.

 

About 20 yrs later, I'm riding along on my (non-motorized) bike and approaching a pear shaped pebble on the pavement. I'm trying to decide whether to go around this odd shaped pebble or go over it. I went over...and... :surprised::eek::doah::huh::hmmm::barf: ...landed on my head. I ended up with a broken hand, a cracked helmet, and four stitches over my left eye. :stupid:

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