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Naked Hotel Guest Shoves Fire Extinguisher Up Ass, Causes A Scene


radioman

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Not a board member perchance?

 

Sounds like fairly standard Brit behaviour these days.

 

http://gawker.com/naked-hotel-guest-shoves-fire-extinguisher-up-ass-caus-1463427411

 

Naked Hotel Guest Shoves Fire Extinguisher Up Ass, Causes a Scene

 

 

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In one of the most compelling ledes ever written, a Tuesday Metro story begins:

A hotel guest emerged naked from a storage cupboard of a Premier Inn with a fire extinguisher hose up his bottom, a court was told.

That is not all the British court would hear about Joseph Small, 20, and his memorable Oct. 31 stay at the Premier Inn in central London.

According to his court testimony, all Small wanted to do was travel to London from Sheffield to make a deal on a used car. And like any stressed out traveler, he stripped off his clothes in the fourth floor hotel corridor, grabbed a fire extinguisher, and shoved the hose up his ass.

Once the hose was firmly in place, he began masturbating and peeing on the floor. A hotel worker named Hassan witnessed the event on a security camera and quickly covered Small with a towel as he escorted him to the lobby.

Small began verbally assaulting the Bangladeshi employee, telling him, "This country has been taken over by al-Qaeda – go back to Pakistan." He then peed again in the lobby, shouting at a group of tourists, "I come from Sheffield in England." Because in an event like this, it's best everyone knows where you come from.

And for his grand finale, Small also racially abused the two police officers who arrived on the scene. Sadly, the report does not say where the fire extinguisher was at this point.

In court on Tuesday, Small admitted to criminal damage, racially aggravated harassment, and outraging public decency. Sentencing was adjourned until Dec. 3

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I'm sure someone keeps a record somewhere of exactly when nutters began to really make their mark on our society - no question that they've been around since Ancient Greece, but authorities had some fairly radical treatment for such people then - they were either executed or became Emperor (before being executed). Perhaps our friend from Sheffield simply has delusions of grandeur ?

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I think the Japanese may be able to help you with the whole 'peeing whilst masturbating' thing - I know there is a difference between squirters and the golden shower brigade, but they are definitely turned on by both. Germans too. Personally, I'm not sure that the Nana cleaning crew would be overly thrilled with either 'party'.

 

Getting back to our mate, one can only wonder what the sensation of plunging the end of a fire extinguisher hose up oneself must feel like - my guess would be 'aaaaaarrrggggghhhh' followed by 'whatthefukkkkkhaveidone!'. Absolutely no part of that device looks like 'fun' to me, but then I usually find other options to keep myself amused at night - seriously lacking imagination, I guess.

 

China_DCP_FIRE_EXTINGUISHER_HOSE_8KG20118291130284.JPG

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Ah but that just requires being savvy reading headlines. As for sticking like the whole fire extinguisher cannister up yer bum, nobody's that fucking dumb! I mean, a hose is just, well, a hose, unless it has one of those splayed out horn affairs they fit on the dry powder ones, that might be a bit more demanding.

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