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To wai or not to wai ?


gobbledonk

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What the lonely planet says about a foreigner never waiing is in a way irresponsible and shows the authors inability to grasb the local culture and understand the rules....If you know the basic scenarios (as pointed out above) you will not go wrong or lose face....

 

 

 

Sanukboot.

 

 

 

Exactly Mr Sanukboot,

 

I took the Lonely Planets advice and didn't wai when I went to meet my girlfriends family - all were very pissed off that the farang didn't wai them. My girlfriend told them that I was an ignorant farang and didn't no jackshit!.

 

If I'd gone with my instincts I would have been ok.

 

 

 

 

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Sawasdee khrap khun Goodthaigirl!

 

 

 

I always use the protocol you wrote but I must admit that I don't always follow the rule about a person who is serving me. If a Thai person is waying me like when I enter a restaurant or a hotel I way them back by following the rule you wrote here. I never find one Thai person who was offend by that or tell me not to do it because he or she was serving me, quite the opposite they are forgetful of my mistakes and I think they enjoy the fact that I try to lurn Thai customs and language.

 

For me to way back is a second nature like here in Canada, when a person salute me I salute them back politely and I don't even think before doing it and now for me it's the same when I am in Thailand. Also, I am a guest in your country so even if a person is serving me I way back at the people who are receiving me so greatly.

 

 

 

Just my 2 bahts ........

 

 

 

 

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GTG,

 

 

 

of course Sawadee Krub is sufficient but if you re-read my post I said if you wanted to impress.....thanks for the correction...

 

 

 

Sanukboot.

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GTG,

 

 

 

I'm looking for the information now, but I think there are 7 variations of the wai and all used in different scenarios...

 

 

 

 

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not really db.....the main reason why I do it is a sign of respect to her family and relatives....

 

 

 

When meeting farang friends I will shake a guys hand and kiss a girls cheek (current greeting formalities in HK expat community) and if I did not then they would be offended....

 

 

 

Take the same scenario, when I meet Thai friends / family I will greet them Thai stlye and if I did not then they would be offended....

 

 

 

If you don't adapt to the local style then people you meet will not have respect for you as you don't show any respect to them by learning the local ettiquette...

 

 

 

Sanukboot.

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That's what I thought, hense my post. Can be really complicated if you don't know what you're doing. Although it must be said, I doubt anyone will get super upset over a mistake, as it is obvious you are a farang, and may not be really knowlegable of all the variances. I still think it wise to stay away from unless you know what you're doing.

 

 

 

You need to instantly size up status of both parties concerned, and then apply the correct method. Problem is, if you get it wrong, it can be very demeaning to person you are trying to impress, so why do it? The odds of getting it just right are low, so play it safe.

 

 

 

But again, if you are meeting someone important, and have the time and practice to get it right for that particular occasion/meeting, then it can be very successful.

 

 

 

All this from someone who is admittedly very ignorant about the subject.

 

 

 

HT

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Since I am still a young buck, most Thai people I meet are more senior if you base it on their ranking criteria, so I always play safe and give them a more senior wai....

 

 

 

The most unexpected situation I was in was after my wedding in Bangkok and the wife and I were returning to HK...we were at Don Muang airport, the family were there and as we were doing the final wais her father did not wai me but hugged me instead....

 

 

 

Sanukboot.

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You're wai'ing, and he's huggin'. What a confussing world we live in smile.gif .

 

 

 

Much different if you live there, or have Thai family ties. My post was directed to the relative newbie, without a clue what they are doing, such as me. Very different if you have a Thai g/f coach to lead you to a happy ending. BTW...congatulations on your wedding. You're livin' the dream, dude. Does she have a sister?

 

 

 

HT

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I?m pretty much with the no wai crowd on this one. The chance of us getting it wrong is pretty high, and it is not really expected anyway. I only wai my mother-in-law and her mother (grandmother), thumbs at nose level. If we go to wat, I wai at the higher position of thumbs at eyebrow level. I do not wai anyone else, unless prodded to do so by my wife. If she does so, I know it should be at the nose level. Anyone else I acknowledge with a nod and a "Khrap" or "Sawadee Khrap" .

 

Comparing a wai to a western handshake is not correct. There is too many social/culture stuff wrapped up in the wai. I choose not to participate.

 

TH

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