Many Of Us Can Relate To This Story...

[cavanami]

Isn't all that far off from my adventures....

 

Life as a child

 

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow

beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land

sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you

know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor will take 6 rounds before it

goes down?

Tough sumbich.

 

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that

I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in

chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over

the place. Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there

really wasn't any fire danger. Ill put it this way- a set of post hole

diggers and a 3 ft.. hole and you had yourself a well.

 

One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large

rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and

see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether). The light bulb went

off. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would

probably just spray out in a disappointing manner...lets face it to a 10

yr old mouth-breather like myself ether, really doesn't "sound"

flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of

pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles).

 

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up

the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit

around the ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie... 1

lb pyrodex and 16 oz ether should make a loud pop, kinda like a

firecracker you know?

 

 

You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other

can.

Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're

cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock

to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow

launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my

dad getting out of the truck... OH SHIT he just got home from work. So

help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to

the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in

his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the

arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through

the main pile of pyrodex

and into the can. Oh Shit.

 

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know

if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex

jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a

millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I

will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above

the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground

layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two.

The daylight turned purple.

 

 

Let me repeat this...THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE. There

was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I

said "was". That son-of-a-bitch got up and ran off.

 

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with

my thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the

carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: ECHO

BRAVO CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE.

 

GODDAMN IT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

 

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All

windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow

rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft over our backyard. There is a Honda

185s 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are

drooped down and are now touching the tires.

 

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't

know- I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside

my own head.

 

I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really

matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something,

felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked

out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the

idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could

beat me some more.

Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again. Thanks Mom.

 

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump

again, Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never

did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. And I still have some

sort of bone growth abnormality either from the blast or the beating.

Or both. I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery.

It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in

life.

Author Unknown

[StoneSoup]

ROFL - truly.

 

SS

[YimSiam]

I also was given a bow and arrow, to learn responsibility and discipline. I shot my sister at about 60 meters, luckily she put up her hands in defense, and the arrow struck her hand. What I learned is that if you threaten your sister seriously enough, she will not even tell mom that you shot her with a bow and arrow...

[cavanami]

There was an old Russian lady, or at least we thought she was Russian, Krazy Kate we nicknamed her.

 

We would sneak up on her house and pepper it with arrows.

 

She would come storming out of the house and chase us all over the neighborhood!

 

One time she got us cornered and we had a nice, even friendly chat. After that we let her be and

went on to other adventures...

[Coss]

About 15" of copper water pipe, marbles and the stuff from the inside of firecrackers, we never hurt anyone, but we did break a window once for which I was punished...

 

All part of growing up.

[Dexi]

Making home-made fireworks using black powder was fun for a while - until one day I used a little too much and the fuse was too short....the resultant bang left me looking like a cartoon character with swept back hair and a black face.That was the end of my experiments

[Flashermac]

I went through a stage of making rockets out of paper matches. It was fun, until my mother starting complaining because she couldn't find any matches in the house.

[radioman]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV-mAoyagng