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German Quality Tourist Gives Everything But Creates Boredom


buffalo_bill
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Gentlemen,

 

today whilst horizontally positioned on my beloved sofa reading the newspaper SZ I did come across the following piece :

 

German tourist went into a massage shop at Krabi beach, took off clothes and settled on the bed. Male massage therapist started working on him speaking the word " Oouuh " , followed by " HiHi " and after a while decided " You eat too mut " . Work continued til massage therapist´s wife looked through the curtain and yelled "FAT !" Curtain closed, therapist said " Big! Big! " , wife from outside with deep bariton imitating big person´s voice repeated " HoHo " and finally " Very strong " . Man and wife close to suffocation from laughter .

 

Fortunately due to my already horizontal position I did not have to collapse from joy reading this wonderful story.

 

This and similar events are the final reason for my eternal love for the Kingdom and shall keep me coming even if I had to travel on a stretcher. I hope the community of hardened expats gets my drift .

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In my younger days, the MP gals would often remark on how slender and fit I was, not an ounce of fat anywhere on me. I stayed at my army weight until I turned 50 ... and then something terrible happened! :elephant:

 

Nowadays, I gain weight if I just look at a picture of food. I've been too embarrassed to go to an MP ever since that happened. :(

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In my younger days, the MP gals would often remark on how slender and fit I was, not an ounce of fat anywhere on me. I stayed at my army weight until I turned 50 ... and then something terrible happened! :elephant:

 

Nowadays, I gain weight if I just look at a picture of food. I've been too embarrassed to go to an MP ever since that happened. :(

 

Yep, used to keep my weight well and, for those times I did overindulge, a 1/2 boiled chicken and a bowl of peas for dinner set me right after a few days.

 

Now I gain weight with 1/2 boiled chicken and peas

 

F***in metabolism!!

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  • 3 weeks later...

I just hit 45 - smoking and drinking and not a lick of exercise in years, and suddenly there's a radical change: same habits as in past years, but now I've blown up by who knows how many kilos, I'm scared to look. Arrived in Thailand for a quick visit on Friday, and the universal greeting appears to be "what happened?! now you are SO FAT!" And they're right - time to start resisting my physical decline... Have always thought I had an average physique - yet suddenly I see some blend of Trump and Weinstein looking back at me, naked, when I get out of the shower. Fucking Trump! Me! What happened...

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I was OK in my 40’s

 

FFS I used to have a 28†waist until mid 30’s cried when I was 30â€, now my 36†waist trousers are “Snug†now into my mid 50’s

 

Cav

 

You have never changed since first day I met you 13 years ago mate, when I was assisting you in Chinese to English Translations for a tyre recycling plant (see this board is not all about mongering hehe) or maybe my eyesight is getting worse

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Having retired and being 60 (ok just recently 61) I have more time to exercise, plus, living in Thailand the smaller helpings are better for me. Have lost about 5 kilos, but, more important to me, have lost a lot of fat. Renotched the belt a couple times, the face is more craggy (never was much to look at anyway), and the man boobs have shrunk. Never had a big gut, and, while more of a squeeze, can still fit into pants when I was 40 and very active, but that squeeze has been getting worse lately. Will never be confused for a male model (for a lot of reasons!!) but for my, and mrs m's sake, want to keep things in control.

 

Currently just arrived back in the states for a visit. The favorite restaurants, and their favorite dishes, are still there but where I used to eat the whole serving can only do half now before overloading. May not last if here for a long time, but so far so good!!

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I've lost 15Kg since my stroke with no effort, I asked my doctor why, thinking it might be a side effect or something, he reckons that, much like when at about 40, most people lose a diopter or two in the eyesight, at about 60 many folk lose weight on account of not eating so much anymore.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Gentlemen,

 

one of my favorite eateries Zaks Soi 11 being demolished made me look for alternatives and finally I have selected Zanzibar Soi 11 as the solution for the foreseeable future. They offer a Philipino live band which normally I hate like the pest in a restaurant but after 4 evenings I sort of started to enjoy them . Friday last week we were assigned a table under a romantic tree and I was about to assure lovely Pam from Lao of my unquestionable eternal love for ever til I noticed three Chinese arseholes occupying the neighbouring position . Smoking like idiots, drunk and noisy. While I was still considering to move I heard one of them sniffing back his snod with full enthusiasm and then spitting the result on the floor . My heart stopped . I turned round and yelled at them that the Zanzibar is not fucking China when a waitress raced over and suggested we move to a table elsewhere which we did .

 

I have yet to find anybody working in a Thai restaurant, hotel, massage or elsewhere showing even the most marginal sympathy for the citizens of this country . And there are more and more of them spreading their bad behaviour whereever they go. #VERY BAD .

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