Birds Who Aren't Stunners But Make Your Stalk Rise

[Fiery Jack]

I mean birds whom a lot of blokes might (and quite clearly do, if you believe the papers or the 'net) regard as a 5 or 6 out of 10, or worse, that you find incredibly sexy/hot/attractive: 11 out of 10.

 

For me: it's Dido. Yes, she's a flat-chested, fat-arsed, pumpkin-headed, chubby dope-head has-been who can't sing her shit songs for toffee, and she's notoriously thick as pigshit (she dated that doss cunt ex-Leeds/Man U/Newcastle footballing thug Alan Smith whose hobbies were beating up pakistanis in nightclubs and punching his own teammates ).

 

But I cannot watch this women without getting an erection. A cock-jerk reflex reaction that I honestly couldn't prevent if I tried.

 

There will be others for me in this category, I'm sure, and they'll come to my addled mind later and I'll list them below if and when they do. For now though, I give you Ms. Dido Florian Cloud de Bounevialle O'Malley Armstrong aka 'Dido': truly my kind of woman (lowers trousers and reaches for box of tissues ).

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGXtEE-YX7s

 

(Of course, that video's 10 years old, and that's the version of Dido I'd love to shag. But I'm sure I'd react the same way if I saw her today. She can't have gone completely downhill in a decade? (Though glancing at my own haggard coupon and ballooning belly, it wouldn't impossible... ))

 

So... Who's yours, lads?

 

jack

[bust]

On your own with that one mate......

[scoobydoo]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ritLaGCPcxE

 

 

not really in your sphere fj as in a 5/10 minger, but i thought i'd post anyway

[Mekong]

Patricia Morrison

 

Being a Bass Player and Backing Vocalists Video appearances are rather restricted.

 

Interesting woman left the US / Californian Post-Punk Goth Scene and moved to the UK back in 1988, damn is is really 27 years ago when we were part of the same social group, eventually ended up Marrying Dave Vanian (The Damned) retired from the music scene and is now a housewife and mother.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuZElJVfWcY

 

 

and another

 

[Fiery Jack]

Patricia Morrison

 

Bit scary looking for me, but I wouldn't say 'No'.

 

My dopehead mate Smokey Ashton did some production work for Eldritch donkey's years ago, and never got paid. He still goes on about it.

 

jack

[YimSiam]

Federica Mogherini - yeah, the EU Foreign Minister... What can I say, she does it for me. Zeinab Badawi, too. Just a thing I have for her. Yes, I would.

[Fiery Jack]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ritLaGCPcxE

 

 

not really in your sphere fj as in a 5/10 minger, but i thought i'd post anyway

 

Good work, mate. I'd tap that like a shot.

 

Another one that gets my rod twitching is Lisa Faulkner (typecast pigshit-thick Essex tart as life imitates art, she's basically a marginally less dippy version of Dido: I see a pattern emerging here, Jack ... ), the blonde 'hobo-chic' bird out of the BBC series 'Murder in Suburbia'. I bet she'd go like a f*cking rabbit, the dirty wee whoor.

 

Here she is in some sexy schoolgirl gear. Lord have f*cking mercy.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrH8SZ6PcmQ

 

Ooh, you bugger. Where's those f*cking Kleenex...

 

 

jack