Ringlish From Around The World

[My Penis is hungry]

Wonderful English from Around the World

 

In a Bangkok Temple:

IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

 

Cocktail lounge, Norway:

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

 

Doctor's office, Rome:

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

 

Dry Cleaners, Bangkok:

DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

 

In a Nairobi restaurant:

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

 

On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi:

TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

 

On a poster at Kencom Nairobi:

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

 

In a City restaurant:

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

 

In a Cemetery:

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

 

On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:

OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

 

Hotel, Japan:

YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

 

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

 

In a Tokyo Bar:

SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

 

Hotel, Yugoslavia:

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

 

In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:

YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET

COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.

 

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE

OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE

TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

 

Hotel, Zurich:

BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX

IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS

PURPOSE.

 

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

 

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:

WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

 

A Laundry in Rome:

LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

 

And finally the all-time classic:

 

Seen in Abu Dhabi in a Souk shop window:

 

IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE…

[Flashermac]

Ringlish sounds gay.

[zzzz]

What wrong with 'CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER"? It looks OK to me other than maybe a comma is needed after 'CUSTOMERS'.

 

English is not an easy language. I have problems with it often (it was my weakest subject when I was in school): take my last post, for example, which said: 'It seems that Americans are a lot LESS happier in LOS than in Domican Republic. It should have been written like this, 'It seems that Americans are happier in Domican Republic than in LOS." For me, it's a never ending struggle to get it right.