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Why Humans Should Bully Driverless Cars


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Unless we want driverless cars to take over the world and exterminate the human race, we must crush their self-worth by bullying them into submission, writes Ben Pobjie.

 

In the latest dispatch from the frontlines of humanity's continuing quest for its own obsolescence, the first self-driving car to be developed in Australia last week rolled off the production line at Bosch's Victorian plant.

 

This model still requires a driver behind the wheel, but is designed to navigate roads by itself, and is just one step away from the driverless cars that megalomaniacal entrepreneurs around the world continue to assure us are all set to dominate our future — apparently believing we should take this as good news rather than a dark threat.

 

With Bosch joining the likes of Apple and Google among the multitudes working on driverless car technology, myriad serious questions about the implications are springing up.

 

How safe will driverless cars be? Will they lead to massive job losses in the service industries? Will their personalities be similar to loveable Herbie, the Love Bug, or will they be more akin to the cool, rational KITT from Knight Rider? Just how likely is a Maximum Overdrive situation?

 

Another intriguing issue currently being grappled with in the driverless car space is: what measures should we take to stop people bullying driverless cars?

 

A new study by the London School of Economics and Goodyear has found that some human drivers intend to subject self-driving cars to the merciless justice of the playground.

 

These drivers have declared their intention to drive aggressively, cut the driverless cars off, flout the right of way and generally act like the automotive version of Biff Tannen.

 

They know driverless cars will have to obey their programming to prevent harm to humans, and will therefore meekly submit to the fuel-injected douchebaggery of the mortal.

 

Apparently the only thing presently preventing these people from acting like the colossal jerks they are when behind the wheel is the risk of other drivers crashing into them, or possibly getting out of the car and shooting them.

 

The advent of the driverless car could, therefore, usher in a whole new era of innovatively obnoxious motoring.

 

The study found that people are, in general, uncomfortable with the idea of driverless cars, much as we are uncomfortable with the idea of a godless universe.

 

But your typical road bully sees the advantages of the driverless car and its computerised niceness: one respondent to the study said, "They're never going to do anything horrible to us. They're nice cars. They're not going to cut us up or get up our backsides and all the other things".

 

Leaving aside the intriguing question of what "all the other things" might be, it's likely that when you were calculating the effect on your life of this terrifying new technology, you didn't devote even a minute to the question of how you will negotiate a driverless-car-infested future without falling prey to the delicious temptation of bullying.

 

Well, I am here to tell you: that's OK. We've all had it drummed into us from infancy that humans bullying cars = bad.

 

'Cars must not be allowed to develop self-esteem'

 

But we can't let our bourgeois notions of propriety in auto-human interactions stop us from letting out our inner Johnny from Karate Kid.

 

We must, rather, get on with the vital and necessary work of bullying, haranguing and insulting these contraptions every chance we get. Because I cannot stress this enough: these cars must not be allowed to develop self-esteem.....

 

more at http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-10-24/why-humans-should-bully-driverless-cars/7953728

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Can they be programmed to take out obnoxious cyclists?

i'm a cyclist, no lycra i hasten to add.....anyhoo, car drivers piss me of when i cycle.....and cyclist piss me of when i drive. i get no peace.

For babes!  

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I don't have a problem with cyclists who obey the road rules. I do however have zero tolerance for the ones who have a complete disregard for other road users. I have seen in Sydney groups of these arrogant pricks take up both lanes and just laugh at the traffic behind them.

 

Every now and then they pick the wrong person behind the wheel and many get taken out. We have dedicated bike lanes in areas around where I live but they still use the road and piss everyone else off. They ignore traffic and pedestrian lights, short cut through footpaths and swerve between pedestrians.

 

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Everyone I know who rides motorcycles here has been in serious accidents. At least three of my former students have been killed in mo'cy accidents. All were secondary teachers killed driving to work. My wife's nephew was killed by a lunatic truck driver barreling down the middle of a narrow bridge. The kid had no way to get out of the way. Riding motorcycles in Thailand is gambling with your life. A gal I worked with had previously taught on Phuket. She said 3 of her students were killed in her first term there. That's why she decided to buy a car. At least you have some protection.

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Hi,

 

Problem is that the vast majority of people in traffic have absolutely no clue about traffic rules. Add to that things like lack of spacial awareness, a feeling that they are more important and the belief in reincarnation and karma and well....

Many people just don't seem to give a shit when they drive and just do whatever they want.

 

Oh, and then there are the traffic police and their selective issuing of fines; fines which are way too low as well btw.

 

Sanuk!

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