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Smooci


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Is it really supposed to be Smoochie? Nobody smooches escorts - not in Bangkok, not anywhere - do they?

 

I mean, rimming, CIM, lesbian rough, DP by ladyboys - that's all par for the course, of course. But smooches? These boys in Suffolk have a thing or two to learn about the biz.

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Alright, following up:

 

First off, perhaps I set up a slightly difficult situation by making a 5 am or so decision to try out the new system - being out from late afternoon on a less-than-triumphant return to Thailand after many months, I was not in the best of form. But the online system is indeed simple, even an idiot, drunk, at 5 am, can successful navigate the thing to the point that someone resembling the online pictures eventually knocked on my door.

 

Big points for convenience, even if she did come half an hour late due to 'traffic'. To her credit, she called in advance to inform me, and I take into consideration that she went to bed at 3 am (after who knows what assignation) and was on her way to me a few hours later. Also, I noticed that she was right back up on the site immediately after leaving mine - the virtually version of the soapie girls rejoining the fishbowl after a customer.

 

I have no faith that this outfit has put the proper amount of attention into discretion. It would not surprise me at all to see the details of this appointment appear on some Wikileaks style data dump someday... it just seems very flippant, asking for your hotel, the name you're registered under, your mobile number, an email address - and then they call through the hotel switchboard mainly, plus use your email to get verified confirmation of the appointment. Lots of info going in various directions; clearly I should have created a whole advance fake identity somehow, but... Not going to happen at 5 am. So I feel a bit exposed, possibly.

 

She arrived, she was pleasant, polite, spoke reasonable English for the context... Wore black - helped to conceal some of the variation between the online photos and the reality - I don't mind a girl with a little more heft, but be honest. After the appointment, the service asks you to review her photos and confirm whether they are accurate or not - on one of them, I'm convinced it's just a cleaned up version of her face slapped on the body of a young, lithe goddess.

 

Looked brilliant online, moderate in person (though lively eyes and a cute mouth, I give her that). Basically one of those girls you can find out in those spots open afterhours where the girls sit in a line-up and the punters come in, sit in a booth with the papa-san, drinking expensive drinks and regretting that you've reached a point of almost no return with the girls on offer.

 

Which is to say, nice girl, sweet, but I wouldn't look twice on the street, in a go-go or soapie, etc.

 

Skills were decent bj, not Star of Light or Lolita's, but good enough to get the job done. Otherwise, just a clunky version of a girl who's kind of new to the thing, has been told what to do but doesn't yet get the spirit of it. Not the expertise I would expect for the price (4,500 three hours - gone after 1.5, at my request), and not the good looks that would excuse the lack of skill.

 

They promote an uber-style tracking system, but this is only available to 'premium' members - which I think means you pay a few bucks for a week or two of access to reviews (not available otherwise!), GPS tracking of pussy en route, and, uh, some other benefits.

 

The reviews. All we mere mortals get are the raw scores, 0-5 averaged. All the girls on the site have at least 4, usually 4.6 - there is no way this crop is earning those scores, I do not trust it. I gave a 2 ("could have been better" is the grading cohort). I did feel bad doing it, because after all she's sweet and I just had my dick in her, and I was not exactly in attractive shape myself for the event - and because I didn't know whether she would see my rating and have it linked to me, or would just go into the mix. They should clear that up, make it crystal that the girl doesn't get the linked review, and we'll score more honestly - were mongers, but we're not heartless assholes...

 

As for the uber/gig economy: from what I saw on the site, and from talking to the girl, it's pretty much all just a handful of escort agencies consolidating their bookings and photos on a single site - not independents. But I could be wrong. I often am.

 

And then there is the Ladyboy/Female question... My guess (from looking at the Female photos) is that if you do not have a penis appended to the exterior of your body, you are a Female. If you have a big dick and high-altitude weather balloon tits, you may be designated Ladyboy. That's my guess. If you wnat confidence and clarity about the original and current gender of your date, you had better not pick off a website.

 

It hurts to say it, but... I would have done as well or better grabbing some urchin off lower Suk/soi 4 in those early dawn hours. When they aren't slipping you a knock out drug or lifting a few bills from your pockets, or having a psychotic break in your hotel room, at least those are salt-of-the-earth hard workers down there on the pavements...

 

You should be able to count on brilliant service, or rare looks, doing escort at 4,500. I got neither, just a niggling sense that my personal data is out there somewhere and will probably be online searchable in a year or two... If anyone has advice on how to explain Rimming and COB to curious colleagues and relatives, let me know when the time comes!

 

All the above said, I may well make it a habit - it's fucking easy, and in those wee hours when there's precious few other options... Tap, tap, click click click - knock on the door.

 

Smooci? How are you even supposed to say it?

 

Anyone else have a go and want to share?

 

YimSiam

 

Thank you very much for the detailed report and analysis - again, Fascinating!

 

Just my humble opinion/thoughts:

 

4500BHT, cheaper than NZ for the same.

 

The last time I did this in NZ, was about 2007, so rates may have changed in NZ, but I can remember ~12,000 bht as a minimum for 3 hrs, and no photos to choose from, just a verbal description on the phone.

 

I suppose, one could specify in the Special Requests field, of the booking form, "I want the girl in the photos, not some other girl who looks a bit like her." I think I'd feel really ripped off to get the 'bait and switch' pulled on me.

 

But if my penchant was, for a stunner, this could be, as you say an easy option. The photos have changed on the site, since I did the original post, there's only one, I'd consider, but then I'm fussy.

 

From your post, I think I'll put in the effort/thrill of the chase and trawl the bars and so on for a GFE if I find myself mongering in Bkk again.

 

Again, thanks for the report.

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