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Hooters Is Closing Its Restaurants Because Millennials Aren’T Interested In Breasts Anymore

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Millenials have recently been tried in the court of public opinion for “killing†industries from diamonds to fabric softener. But a new study may have them all beat: Millenials have now been accused of killing the breast industry.

 

An unnamed adult entertainment website (hint: it rhymes with Corn Pub) recently commissioned a study of American search histories. The company, which likes to keep abreast of changes in viewing habits, found that millennials (18-24) are 19% less likely to search for “breasts†when looking for their night-time viewing material. They’re also far less likely to search up “natural breasts†and far more likely to search up “fake breasts,†which I’m sure the “Millenials are psychologically-damaged narcissists†crew would have a field day with.

 

And the, uh, the mammary industry is suffering for it. Hooters, the iconic “breast-aurant†that made its name serving up wings and breasts for the customers’ appreciation, has faced sagging sales in the past few years. Between 2012 and 2016, the business has shrunk by 7%, and they’ve responded by closing restaurants across America.

 

Amid worries that the business is going bust, Hooters has started to rebrand itself. It’s focussing more and more on takeout, and even opening some fast-casual restaurants featuring (gasp!) fully-clothed waiters.

 

That’s right! Their new side business, called “Hoots,†leans more towards the wings than the breasts, and features an updated menu to boot.

 

Only time will tell whether this move will be enough to bring the chain back into America’s bosom.

 

Sarah Pederson, professor of communications and media at Robert Gordon University, believes it’s just a passing trend. As she told Playboy, “We tend to have responses against what was previously in fashion. At the moment larger breasts are out, though I’m sure they’ll come back.â€

 

 

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All sorts of rumours going around about the two Hooters branches on Sukhumvit. Construction of the Phnom Penh branch appears to have ceased with word rent has not been paid for months. It will be interesting to see if the Bangkok branches survive.

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Since they closed down Happy Girls Bar Soi 4 in favour of yet another Thai massage shop where they do not even offer sexual intercourse I am deeply worried about a cultural decline of the whole area . Closing a soulless place like Hooters therefore would be a useful step forward . Or backward .

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Hooters is fine if you want to go and chat with a friend, since no one will hustle you for drinks there. Other than that. it's too expensive and has very ordinary food. Some of the gals are babes, but since they aren't on the menu, that's not a big draw either.

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>>> which I’m sure the “Millenials are psychologically-damaged narcissists†crew would have a field day with.

 

and so I shall.

 

Since I've been back in middle earth, I can't help but notice that all the men in public view, in advertising, media commentators, etc etc are good looking in a gender neutral way and wearing a lot of makeup.

 

I'm not suggesting that they are gay or otherwise not 100% male, because if they are, that's fine with me, I voted for the parliament that gave gays, the equal rights they enjoy in NZ today.

 

What I am saying is that men don't look like men any more, real men look like Barry Crump, not Donald Trump Junior.

 

Even Gay men, in my day were strong, rugged, looked like the Marlboro man and carried a tree over one shoulder.

 

So for clarification:

 

Not Real Men

 

ollie-and-jack.jpg

 

 

Barry Crump

 

p-14502-atl.jpg

 

 

And a contemporary real man, Taika Waititi

 

1459133349396.jpg

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Like Golden bar before it I enjoy Hooters since I no longer barshop. I can sit on the rail, enjoy a drink and a cigar, and watch the craziness that is Nana without being bothered.

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