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When Farang Go Native (A Thai Perspective)


JaiRai
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LInk -- Khaosod

 

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"When in Rome … †begins the truism about how to behave in foreign lands. We’ve all heard and understood this. It makes sense. When visiting another place, one will fit in and be loved by embracing the customs of those living there.

 

But what may start as an endearing and commendable effort – learning some language, meeting some social expectations – can become annoying to the very natives whose approval is sought. Behind one’s back, the whispers begin: You’ve gone native.

 

For Thais, navigating society’s ground rules is difficult enough. But those rules are learned from birth, enabling people to find their peg in the social hierarchy. As junior members slowly work their way up through age and position, the rituals become easier. To wai or receive a wai, to stoop when passing, to never stand over someone your senior – all of these teachings are ingrained.

 

Keen observers can instantly read who’s who from body language, without needing introductions to know everyone’s place in the pecking order.

 

Enter the foreigner, who upon arrival in the kingdom hears or reads about the many cultural dos and dont’s and substitutes hard cultural learning with a travel blog post titled “Top 10 Thailand Dos and Don’ts.â€

 

Soon positive feedback is won for a few superficial gestures as novelty and intrigue leads to a false sense of being accepted.

Most Thais react warmly to efforts to learn the language and customs. It’s a great show-off to friends and family to derive much “face†from. From foreign ambassadors to engineers and teachers, newcomers who demonstrate they’ve learned some subtleties of custom are applauded.

 

Take “James,†a towering American hunk of upper middle-class upbringing with an Ivy League education. For all his good intentions, he looks awkward when he hunches over to wai someone clearly his junior. Or clumsy when he only offers one wai while everyone is trading them in multiple upon saying goodbye, because he thinks one should be enough.

 

After years in Thailand, indications of his Christian upbringing are replaced by meditation, traditional medicine and sunrise alms-giving at his local temple. His determined stride is replaced by a shuffled gait and opinionated philosophy become internal monologue no longer expressed to others.

Then there’s those who feast on the attention and just keep going. Like those with Viking spirit from the northern hemisphere who gain fame and fortune as acclaimed country singers. Or the loved-and-hated American YouTubers or droll Australian writers, all admirable for their Herculean efforts to be as Thai as possible.

 

Here’s where I’d urge restraint to: Lavish them with too much praise and risk seeing them “go native.â€

When people “go native,†they risk partially entering an unfamiliar group only to find their own kind also don’t like it. Shedding one’s identity so effortlessly suggests little value placed on one’s tribe in the first place. People wonder why and question where the line is drawn. To please the natives, that’s understood, but if it’s to shed despised traits for complete reinvention of self?

 

What was endearing to the natives may eventually become annoying, even demeaning.

 

As Thais, we are small in stature, admire Western success, send our children overseas for education if we can, and try to hold on to our traditions while moving toward modern Western success. To suddenly see those we admire abandon their personas and take ours to the n’th degree confounds the mind. Have they moved so far forward only to step back? Surely if our culture and traditions are so coveted by Western ideals, why are we so slow to succeed?

So go ahead and show some thoughtful deference to your adopted country, but stay committed to your legacy, keep your identity and find your dignity intact and much-admired for doing so."

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The writer is from a well known family with some royal ancestry. She is speaking as an educated, worldly Thai, and I agree with her. After decades of living here, I'm familiar with Thai customs and expectations, but I don't go overboard. She is aiming this at those who do. I've largely taken my cues from my educated Thai colleagues. As much as I admired the late King, I never wore the King's shirt ... since he wasn't my king. It would have been disrespectful, and my university educated Mrs agreed with me. (She told me she'd bought one for me to wear, then thought about it and decided I shouldn't. She was very insulted when I told her I'd seen Farang bar hoppers wearing them in Nana Plaza.) I don't give food to monks and I don't meditate ... but I show respect for monks and act as they would expect a polite non-Buddhist to act. I do enough to show that I'm aware of the rules, but I don't go overboard trying to ape them. Try to and you come across as a buffoon.

 

I imagine KS is much the same way. We can never really be Thai, so stop pretending to be. As my wife put it to me years ago, "I don't think of you as a Farang. You're not Thai, but you're not a Farang." That's the closest we can ever become. Going beyond that simply labels you as a prat. :chinaman:

 

 

p.s. Khao Sod has long been my favourite Thai news source. It is the most nonpartisan and independent, and its reporters have often walked a thin line with whatever government has been in power.

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I described myself once as Ex0-Society - I am on the outside looking in,

 

I get invited to special events in the village, I am asked to voice my ideas and concerns at village meetings, my mother would recieve the same gifts that village elders did at Song Kran, but I am not Thai, nor do I want to be, but I believe there is a polite path to walk between being a Farang in Thailand that won't change and trying to be Thai. I hope I do manage that like you Flash

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An old term comes to mind - Farang Khi Nok (bird shit farang). 40 plus years ago I was told it originally meant the farang trees that grew from seeds crapped out at random places by birds, but it took a different meaning in the VN War days. Back then it was applied to Thais who tried to act too much like the GIs stationed here - dressing like them, talking like them, trying too much to be a Farang. Since then it seems to have changed to mean westerners who try to hard to act like Thais. Either way, it has never been a compliment.

 

By the way, the guava originated in Central America and was brought to SE Asia by Portuguese traders in the late 1500s or early 1600. It was given the name Dton Farang - the Farangs' tree, and the fruit was called a look farang. That's why we share a common name with a tropical fruit. It's not because most of us are shaped like a guava or have a green complexion. :)

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Hey one thing I will never get is the Thai slapstick humor - and the slide whistle sound effects they employ 555. I'm like wtf. btw - There's a film called 9 Wats I saw a few years ago - thriller - fucking excellent.

 

Last time I was in Bangkok was at a pub on soi 33 with a companion, and some nice gent with a companion sat with us at our table. Started telling everyone that he'd been in Thailand 10 years and was an English teacher and was now 90% Thai (though I could see the confusion on the service folks faces at his language attempts). The girl I was with asked what I did the night before and I told her (truthfully) -- 'gin lao yuh - buat hua' (I don't know if that is correct btw - but she understood). The teacher at our table became very oddly animated and proceeded to tell me that I cannot say 'gin lao' I have to say 'duem' -- and I was thinking - are you fucking kidding me? You really have been in country 10 years and you don't know how often they use Gin Lao. Or Gin Naam. Or whatever. The girl I was with giggled making him a bit infuriated and we left shortly after.

 

Anyway, since then I've noticed a growing trend of these guys who think they're living out the movie Avatar and they have fully assimilated into the Thai culture as saviors and it's just embarrassing.

 

I found the article above confusing at first but the author makes up for it in the conclusion. So well written and insightful. God damn. :)

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