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I've Started A Detective Agency To Catch The Infamous Bangkok Serial Cat Murderer


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Cats aren't popular in Thailand, and rightly so. One bite can send you to the hospital where you will be inoculated with no less than 30 needles. But the elite have long liked to keep cats, and pamper them senseless. Is it any wonder that there is some residual class over spill resentment?

 

Whilst the media has hushed this story there has been a string of cat homicides, all the way from Lumphini, to the heart belt of Soi 4 Sukhumvit.

 

I was first made aware of this by my first client, whom I will simply name Nut. She described a disturbing pattern of cats being hit in a professional manner in her neighbourhood. She described a sordid tale of a man disguised as a fruit seller enticing forlorn cats into his car with some potent mincemeat, then driving off at high speed into streets.

 

I thought this might be my first lead and I questioned the woman - did you get the guy's license plate? She answered that she was too focused on her pussy, which she went on to describe in the most intimate details.

 

I setup my office with maps geo-locating the murders. I'm now hot on the trail of this cat killing thug, and the circle is closing, using advanced software technology and geo-tagging some of these highly fancied pussies.

 

With Godspeed I will prevail, but in the meantime, any leads and tips are highly appreciated to catch the Serial Cat Murderer.

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He's a murderer. All my life, what I mistook for friendly pats on the back, were really the hands that pushed me further down. the more I struggle, the less I achieve. Deep chlorine breaths, minutes bleed into hours, bleed into days, something keeps me in this disinfected womb.

 

I picture things differently in daylight, I suppose. I mean everything is an excuse for something. But my conscious is intact. I can deny everything. I'm waving in to blind eyes. And I've got away with it all. Smirk.

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Okay, why don't we meet at the Irish pub across the road from the casino? I like the idea of forming a Brisbane chapter. We can compare notes, the inevitable fails, the wholesome successes. It's a real old fashioned pub with old fashioned nooks where you can nurse a pint. Failing that there's a Pig and Whistle on Eagle St, seems really busy these days. Nah it's a great idea, just name a time, and I'll be there.

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You mean the Victory I think. Close to QUT. A lot of Chinese students - can you say Ni Hao? My Goodness. I've noticed the GPO in the valley has a lot of Asian students too - that are easily impressed. There has never been a better time to be hunting on the home turf. Lets start this Brisbane chapter!!!

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