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panadolsandwich

I believe in love here

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I wrote the below in a crisis.  I now know I'm not alone.  This is the fierce last stand of all I am.  Having said all that - I have a loving wife that will never give up on me.   So Stickman, take that as a rebuke.  I've been married for 15 years now.

I mind reading the posts of Sticks that weren't worthwhile at all.  They all had some kind of prejudice or even racism attached to it.   The common theme was some story of betrayal.  I never experienced that.  I was open minded, I learnt the language, was a student of the culture, I even learnt to speak to her Mum even though her own cousins confessed to barely understanding her. 

I designed and built a modular house, taking pride in personally putting it together.  It astonished the community, but I designed that as well.    All the trees we planted around our perimeter, was just forethought .   The second story is already   designed.  A terrace of sorts, looking at the mountains. 

Stickman preyed on people that were dysfunctional.  That's what I can gather from whatever association we've had.  

Love is natural and real - and the inimical hatred spread by Stickman is something I occasionally ponder about.  He's literally retired but I don't think that gives him a free pass.   As a cousin of Australia, he should come out and make an apology - for all the hurt he has done. 

 

I haven't eaten or slept for days.  I need dark therapy.  I'm washed out.  Or up.  I suppose it's just the way I am.  The thing is I know I'll rise again like a phoenix, but I can't tell this is right. 

The one thing I can't stand for is I ever hurt anybody, I' can stand certain of that.  

I'm falling in slow motion.

 

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My apologies, as I re-read this, I realized it appeared like a personal attack on Stick.  That was never the intention.  I admire him in a lot of ways.  It was more a realistic, and pragmatic view to unearth a sordid ideology. 

I believe Khun Sanuk has a happy marriage.  Stick has a happy marriage.  I have a happy marriage (15 years and ongoing).  We love each other more than words.   

Clearly there are a large number of dysfunctional people coming to Thailand, looking for romance.  I just don't believe in making a business of it. 

Don't believe the naysayers.  You can and *will* find love here in Thailand.  You've got to overcome your own prejudices and poor choices you made in life.  Keep an open mind, be respectful, and you will do well here.  I can't say that loudly enough.  

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Also, I will further exonerate Stick.  I really feel he attempted  to make things right in the end.   I wouldn't have walked down that path, surely I had more opportunities in life, alma maters.   

I became a surgeon at the tender age of 28.  I worked for Médecins sans frontières, for many years, mostly in Africa.   I witnessed all these sickening things. However I could never challenge the awful things going on in Thailand.  My posts have become a race to catch up with my morality.  For whatever that is worth.

There is an undeniable proof of bad people coming to Thailand.  I don't even know if care anymore.  They can rot in hell.  

 

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It's always been the way,

I am one who is old enough to have been to the Thermae, when it was known as the bar from the Star Wars movie, "a  wretched hive of scum and villainy".

And then there's/there was, the Grace hotel bar,  and it's weaponry.

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And yes, I have had plenty of girlfriends while married.  But what you don't mind is that everything will flow.  It's just they way things go.  I've had pregnancy proposals from Mums in the village.  Have sex with my daughter for free.   Photo, mobile number and everything.   And you know Mum won't allow her daughter to thwart  her. 

It always left me nauseous.  What a sick mentality.  I never really considered myself a handsome man, well Scandinavian,  and well built, blue eyes and blonde hair.  I suppose there is an appeal there.  But a curious intelligence, never allowed me to think of that.   I'm much more empathetic of other people than myself.  It's why I like Fiery Jacks poetic posts so much.  He is the best writer on this board. 

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18 hours ago, Coss said:

It's always been the way,

I am one who is old enough to have been to the Thermae, when it was known as the bar from the Star Wars movie, "a  wretched hive of scum and villainy".

And then there's/there was, the Grace hotel bar,  and it's weaponry.

So was Flashy, but I'm presuming you were young guys with devil may care attitudes.  I'll happily walk into a wretched hive of scum and villainy simply because I can.  I walked through the slums of Cambodia actually wishing someone would rob me.  I simply just made friends.  Yes I know friends in low places.  Most of the high places are really the people that have deep chlorine breath and were all the time my enemies.  All the time what I mistook as friendly pats on my back, were merely the hands that pushed me further and further down. 

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Besides all my life is just a series of compromises anyhow.  Accept  bigotry.  Accept racism.  Accept Xenophobia. It's a sham, and I accept it all.   There's no reason to cower to authority.  I've got everything I wanted.  

I feel no pain - because apathy is the only thing I experience.  

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