Guest Posted July 23, 2001 Report Share Posted July 23, 2001 Back from my first trip to LOS and I definitely got some demons to exorcise. Dante would recognize my situation immediately -- I’m condemned to wander in a kind of mean-spirited sex purgatory! I still don’t feel like I’m really home, but I sure ain’t over there :-(. It’s a gorgeous summer afternoon in farangland but all I want to do is drink coffee, smoke cigarettes and read the Nanaplaza message board. Ergo, I am becoming a classic case -- borderline compulsive, terribly weary of the western-dating strum un drang, fast approaching 40. Read on if you want, but for me this is pure therapy, though I am faintly aware this whole “exorcise” may be tilting at windmills. For the record, I am white, 38 and single. Like some of you out there, the sum of my prior experience with the “sex industry” was limited to a porn tape or two and a way-too-stoned walk through the red-light district in Amsterdam (with too many circuits blown, I wisely retreated). Yes, I have been the geek tourist who enjoyed mentally reconstructing the ruined Baths of Caracalla, and yes I’ve been the lone wolf tourist idiotically hitting on Euro chicks at the local disco. Would this pattern repeat itself in LOS? Surely, the suspense must be killing you. I stumbled out of the BKK International Airport on a steamy June afternoon, holding onto a Metropolitan Map of Bangkok and a handwritten note from the tourist information desk for my taxi driver that said “don’t take the expressway.” 40 minutes later and 150 baht poorer I’m in my hotel room off of Th Phetburi, pacing around the room, wondering how to approach this trip, Sanuk or Lonely Planet? O.K. in retrospect I’ll admit the decision wasn’t as hard as I’m making it sound. I’d just arrived in Thailand from 2 very well-behaved months elsewhere, so my decision had an air of, shall we say, built-in urgency about it. But this first night I’ve got to go have dinner with a farang acquaintance who happens to work for a multinational in BKK. She takes me to an expensive restaurant and asks, “what are you planning to do in Bangkok?” She gives me a pointed look and I realize I’m being invited to take the politically correct test, so I rattle off all the shit to do I can think of east of Sukumwit Rd. This seems to work although now I’ve started drinking a little fast now. Fortunately, she’s got to work in the morning, and I’m back at my hotel by 11:15 p.m. Ten minutes later I’m on the Skytrain headed west. A stroke (or two) before midnight I’m seated at a go go bar at the NEP watching two naked girls with strap-ons DP a third girl, and I start to feel dizzy. Well, I guess that’s the essence of the newbie experience, the moment when the scene rushes at you all at once, and you wonder if it wouldn’t be better to leave the bar for a while and find somewhere quiet to drink. Forget that there’s no such bar near Nana. I held my ground and mentally relaxed, moving on to the next task, which was trying to figure out what the hell is going on around me! There’s Grandpa off to my right who’s got this really short girl in his lap while his hands are roaming freely inside her top. Oops, there goes the top! Can she really be enjoying that? There are two guys on the far side of the stage horsing around with 4 cuties, everybody’s got a drink. Hmm, that looks like fun...but I’m here alone, strictly on a fact-finding mission tonight. So it’s on to two or three other NEP bars, one of which I fortunately escaped from without having my head slammed into the wall while taking a leak, thank you! I have wrongly expected to be swarmed by the girls upon entering these bars, but it’s more relaxed than that. Yes, I get hit on by a few less-than-attractive dancers but that’s easy enough to deal with, until a cute waitress makes an admiring remark about my appearance, spreads herself across my lap and moves my hands to her ample tits, telling me she wants to go home with me. I hadn’t quite prepared for this, but she seems way too young, so after some mutual silliness I ask her age, using my best phrase-book Thai. She claims 21. I ask again. She responds again “Yi sip et,” with a big smile. I think to myself “if that actually does mean 21, I could do this.” Yet I have no idea how she’ll be received at my crappy little hotel. I decide to redirect her attention to the dancers, asking how do I meet a dancer if I like her? She was out of my lap in a flash. “What girl you like? I get her for you now. She make good time for you, you very happy.” I file this information away for future reference, delighted with her accommodating spirit. [Aside: perhaps this question about the dancers seems dumb, but I asked it honestly. I wasted a lot of time in the bars trying to figure out what the girls who dance then sit together in the back row were up to. Were they waiting for men to approach or were they sending signals of indifference? Did they notice I noticed? All of the above, probably. But this remained an area of ambiguity throughout my trip. It worked best for me to stick to a policy of moving around a lot or hanging out at the bar and waiting for the smile -- not the stare -- before making a move. Some of those stares were wonderful though, and the “what if’s” still haunt me]. After begging off the lady drinks with my new found friends, pleading sleep deprivation -- I know, a lame excuse -- I’m out of the NEP at 1:45, drunk and in search of the Thermae. This isn’t such a good combination, I realize. I half expect not to find the Thermae but suddenly it is upon me, unmistakable from the picture I saw on the internet. Bounding down the stairs and into the bar I am floored by what I see, despite having read all about the place. I am grinning hugely, as I realize I’ve finally arrived in Bangkok. The girls are lined up, scores of them around the entire bar, waiting to be approached, but instead I walk around and around in circles, making a spectacle of myself if that were even possible in such a place. Before I can talk to anyone though, the girls are exiting en masse, the bar quickly empties out. It’s 2:15! On the street outside I lurk about, chat with some teenage girls, and then get approached, but this one looks like a veteran, and I’m not quite ready to navigate the treacherous shoals of the freelancer scene. She gives me my excuse to leave. Dodging a Katoey, I hail a cab ride (meter off --sorry, too drunk to resist and I offer 50 baht), so soon I’m back in my sh*t hole of a room only to find cockroaches crawling on my toothbrush. Tomorrow, I will move to Sukumwit. Day 2 I wake to a terrible thirst and pounding headache. Surprised, I thought I’d paced myself last night. Counting backwards, I learn my first real lesson -- five Singhas over the course of several hours is not pacing yourself. Anyway after a bottle of water and a couple advil it’s not really that bad, so I make it downstairs for breakfast, and get seated next to a truly hideous old guy and his bar girl. I guess that answers last night’s question about the hotel. I try not to stare while making a mental note about where I’ll be vacationing at age 70! Soon I’m back in my room on the 2nd floor overlooking the swimming pool and behold, a very attractive farang woman is out there topless rubbing sunscreen all over -- and I mean all over -- her luscious body, while her boyfriend bobs aimlessly in the pool. Please God, why am I singled out for this torment? Remembering that I’m not at all religious, I collect my wits and head off to a nearby internet cafe to refresh my memory about massage parlors via a comprehensive Nanaplaza post. Around noon, I check out of the sh*t bag hotel and into the Promenade on Soi 8, new toothbrush in hand. This hotel is much better, for the extra 120 baht. After a long shower, I decide to hunt for the Mona Lisa, which is supposedly near the intersection of Asok and New Phetburi road. Stupidly, I head out on foot in what quickly turns out to be the Bataan death march, albeit with water. Of course I can’t find the Japanese embassy (is there an irony here?) let alone the Mona Lisa, but I turn left on Phetburi and before long find myself in the lobby of the Prince Hotel, recovering from heat exhaustion. So I guess it will be Cupidity then, or whatever it’s called. Actually not so fast, there must be 35 girls in this place and I’m supposed to choose one? Plus I’m a little dubious about Papa-San’s “special price” of 1700 baht. I go check out Atami, but the price is higher (comes down to 1700 and then 1500 as I make my way to the door) and the selection is smaller and less inviting. Did I forget to mention that my groin is boiling now? It’s a quick walk back to Cupid and I wisely choose the girl who seems most eager to have the pleasure of my company, following everyone’s sage advice. Up close, she is a really cute Issan girl. I loved the soapy massage, though I have to admit I was worried about the girl, who has no real choice in the matter, and spends her life sitting in a fishbowl, after all. Perhaps I shouldn’t have worried. On the bed, she grinds her pussy into my face until it felt like my tongue was going to fall off, and then returns the favor more skillfully than I was able to stand for long. Plus she loves to make out! The main event seems to go on and on, which is a pleasant surprise all around. This is much better than I expected! Two hours later I could not remove the smile from my face if I’d wanted to, and I crisply salute the security guard on my way out (if anyone cares, I tipped my honey love 300 baht). The vendors outside Prince greet me with inquiring, or are those disapproving, looks? Is this what they mean by the walk of shame? Day 3 It’s morning. I look into the bathroom mirror and say out loud, “my God, you’ve become a sex tourist!” Actually, that didn’t happen until Day 4. Day 3, I awoke bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, having passed out in my room at 8 the night before, up briefly at 1:30 a.m., then asleep till 7. I’m startled awake by a loudspeaker announcing the start of class at the elementary school below my room (more on that later). I’m up on the 7th floor, or the “whore floor” as near as I can tell. Although sound insulation between the rooms is good, every time I walk out into the hallway, I hear moaning and groaning! How did those innocent looking ladies at the front desk have me figured out? My day begins with the best of intentions. I grab a taxi down to Ko Ratanakosin, eager to sample the finest that tourist BKK has to offer. Unfortunately, the reclining Buddha is encased in scaffolding (watch your head!) and the Emerald Buddha is closed. I have better success walking through the amulet market near Tha Maharat, riding the boats to nowhere in particular, lunching with students at a small restaurant near the water. I am being noticed, that’s to be expected. And yes, I do love those black slit skirts the university girls wear, it adds a touch of daring to the overall innocence package. Christ, am I becoming a full-fledged pervert? Only time will tell. [more on Day 3 and beyond to follow] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 24, 2001 Report Share Posted July 24, 2001 An excellent start...and not boring at all...please continue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stumpy Posted July 24, 2001 Report Share Posted July 24, 2001 Bravo! Very Good. If you could have the next installment finished for my bed time please as I like to retire with light reading material Looking forward to the next section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 24, 2001 Report Share Posted July 24, 2001 Good reading do far. Looking forward to the next installment... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfman36 Posted July 24, 2001 Report Share Posted July 24, 2001 Nice addition! I really like the infusion of the dry wit you possess. Keep it coming... er...uhhhh.... I mean.... can't wait till the next installment. Yeah! That's it.... Cheers, elfman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbear31 Posted July 24, 2001 Report Share Posted July 24, 2001 "Ten minutes later I’m on the Skytrain headed west. A stroke (or two) before midnight I’m seated at a go go bar at the NEP watching two naked girls with strap-ons DP a third girl...." Too funny! Kind of boggles the mind. What's the use in even trying to prepare for BKK? T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 24, 2001 Report Share Posted July 24, 2001 Thanks everyone for the encouragement, one never knows.. By the way, TBear reading your report is what finally motivated me to do my own..excellent read man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spirit_of_town_hall Posted July 24, 2001 Report Share Posted July 24, 2001 Nice report, you seem to be navigating around BKK a lot better than I did on my first visit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 24, 2001 Report Share Posted July 24, 2001 A good report.It seems the board is being over run by budding authors.Good. Just one thing....I know your a bit pissed off at being home again,but just relax and think of those poor bastards that never go to LOS. .and of course sort out a ticket for the next time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbear31 Posted July 26, 2001 Report Share Posted July 26, 2001 "By the way, TBear reading your report is what finally motivated me to do my own..excellent read man. " Thanks! Your reports are turning out pretty excellent as well. T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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