Remembering The First Time--by Alexander Turner

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Remembering The First Time

 

-by Alexander Turner

I have spent some time in Thailand. After my first visit I scrimped on a low paid job to get out there again. I did so repeatedly up until my marriage and the birth of my son. Each time I spent over three months in Thailand. And I will admit that I may, on occasion, have taken being a rubbish farang too far.

Unlike many here I am not an educated man. Born in, and raised in, London I stopped school at sixteen and went to work backstage in the theatre. In London, at least, this is not going to make you rich. But like most I had dreams. I was writing films and got one half made. All irrelevent to you, but I'll get to the point.

At the point I went to Bangkok my world had just about fallen apart, and I had to do something new. I thought Bangkok would give me a jolt and an impetus. In a way it did. It made me feel that the only important thing was to get more money, and go back.

I didn't know anybody in Thailand. I met a few backpackers on the Khao San Road. They all spoke of Bangkok as though it was some hellhole filled with conmen and whores.

The only thing that would happen to a foreigner was that he would get ripped off. Luckily or unluckily I didn't have anything to rip off. Like I say I am a rubbish farang. But, then at least, I was young-ish, blond and polite. My entry into the bar-scene was a visit to Patpong with some backpackers. A couple of Aussies.

Whenever I travelled I always hooked up with Aussies, because they seem the least stuck up people on the planet. Very easy to form quick and easy friendships with. Especially for a pom. Don't know why. We walked around and I was whacked out of shape by the wonder of the place.

Now I find it hard to believe, but then, Patpong was the most seductive place I had been. Beautiful women inviting you to come in and sit with them. Bright lights like Disneyland. Constant music and noise and life brimming over. We eventually went into a bar called Pink Panther. I don't know about now but in '91 this bar was just brimming with the kind of women I'd only seen in glamour mags. Everywhere I looked these flashing eyed angels were trying to entice me.

But I was with my mates and tried to play it down. We just sat there supping beers. We were all there for the crack. But the music was too loud to chat much. A girl came and sat with James and my eyes fixed on one woman with a lionine appearance. Even here she stood out from the crowd. She came and sat with me. She seemed to like me and held my head to her breast. Her friends kept hassling her to get me to buy her a drink and then me to buy her a drink but she wasn't having any of it. She pushed them away and told them to shut up. I was a bit drunk, but not much. the girl told me her name was Fon. Rain. The lights shorted out. We were all plunged into darkness. Fon took the opportunity to deep kiss me. By the times the lights came on again I was completely and instantly bewitched, infatuated, whatever. I told my friend that I was well and truly fucked. He said they were going to split. I said I would stay here and risk it.

Of course it was business for her. But I pointed out what money I had. I had about a thousand or so baht all in all, and I had a round of drinks to pay for. I couldn't do this. The bar fine was, I think, 3 hundred. It might have been 2 fifty. But she agreed to go for seven. I was so aroused at this point that had I had more I would have certainly paid it.

Now I'm sure that most know Khao San Road guest houses do not allow Thai girls back in the rooms. So it was off to her place. She walked me out the bar and up Patpong 2 to get a tuk tuk that she paid for. She lived in a strange dark apartment building.

Remember, I was a complete newbie. I thought that I was probably going to get murdered and sold off for body parts, but I was so completely awed that I didn't care.

Her room was large. She shared it with two other bar girls who weren't there. She had made some arrangement about this back in the bar. There was a poster size picture of Fon topless next to her bed.

She bought some food and we ate together. We did the inevitable and then the phone rang. It was a Frenchman who was some high official in the French embassy. He was taking her to Singapore the next week. He was also planning to take her to France. He wanted to see her there and then.

She said to me that she guessed that now I didn't like her so much. I said I understood. I'd sooner go out with someone who was going to show me the world than some idiot farang who had nothing. She seemed to be touched by this and refused to take more than five hundred off me. We took another tuk tuk back to Patpong which she also paid for.

When I went back to Khao San Road it seemed bizarre. I was profoundly altered by this experience.

The next time I went back to Patpong she had gone to Singapore. As usual the bar girls all fell over themselves lying. "She's sick." or "She's gone to see her family." I said "You mean she's gone to Singapore with her boyfriend." "uh yes."

Sorry. This is a bit long winded. But I'm sure most Bangkok hounds have a story like this. How they lost their Bangkok virginity.

As it is, hearing many other stories, I feel that I was very fortunate. In fact I have always been very fortunate compared to the horror stories I've heard. I never went with Fon again. Circumstances were against it. But whenever I met her she spoke with honesty and intelligence. I remember on that first night "The Blue Lagoon" had been on the TV at Fons apartment. She asked me if I'd seen it. I said "No. But I've heard of it. It's very romantic." She smiled "It's about fucking."

My friends were eager to find out what happened to me. They assumed that my experience would have turned out to be very mechanical. It wasn't. In fact I felt, for me at least, it was very romantic.

Even if it was all about fucking.

Alexander Turner