Marry Down, Marry Out

[Dexi]

IME most TGs only want to come to Farangland because they think they can earn big money.If that turns out not to be the case then the marriage will probably hit the rocks fairly soon.I dont think many of them know how bad the weather in Winter in NW Europe can be

[panadolsandwich]

I hope nobody minds if I can just crash this particular hate party that's going on here.

 

There is a gall here that only makes sense, well but now let's see - there is a fucking sense of detachment from reality.

 

As Asia rises - and Stickman wrings his gnarled hands - there is a kind of barometer that is meant to measure atmospheric pressure but that has been cleverly modified to gauge the amount of hate. The barometer is one that spells disaster from every gap between the pavement and the ground which is where you'll find a not atypical hate figure - which is surprisingly self-evident. I've fucked almost every Asian girl under the full glare of the bright sun - chubby faced Koreans, cute Japanese, pragmatic Laotions, friendly Khmers and yes of course Thais. But you know what, I'm not going to lie and say I loved every single one of them - but one thing is for fucking sure - I never hated any single one of them - which is tantamount to what a lot of the posters here have owned up to - fucking sad bastards... Your perspective is completely skewed - WAKE UP!!!!

 

Sadly I expect more posts like yours as the recession bites and like a good little johnny boy you try to bite back - scraps from my high table - yeah there you go - that's a good boy!!!....

[Guest lazyphil]

people thinking way too much here

[gobbledonk]

It's 2 million yen for 180 days of teaching + school bus = 25,000AUD.

No uniforms, books and materials provided.

 

Yes, 12 students (max is 16) and always 2 teachers in every class, one native English speaking professional teacher + assistant,also professional teacher, always bilingual Japanese national.

 

And what else could I do? To send her to public Japanese school, free, create further confusion and destroy her for life.

 

This way, it does cost money (I pay, not company, not on an expat package) it has not only recovered but has seen her be on par with kids from all over the world whose parents have some qualities that see them sent as expats to Japan. Definitely not kids who see drunk, drugged or otherwise wrecked families and she is right there even leading instead of quietly drawing alone in the corner.

 

That seems like a *lot* of money, but I don't know how that compares to salaries in Japan. Its great that you are willing to put so much effort into your daughter's education - if you saw some of the tragically illiterate kids our schools are churning out in Oz ..... anything beyond texting seems to be beyond many of them.

[WorldFun]

ttm, interesting mixed dna example you kindly shared here. best part she's progressing well & above the norm so not sure what exactly 'went wrong', but anyway sure investment into quality education usually pays off only problem being sourcing it in the first place

 

as to visiting the EU as non married well there's the 'invitation certificate' by the resident farang available to anyone with a modest income / bank guarantee.

 

yes apparently as indicated by KS the schengen staff dont discriminate much for/against married or serious/unserious BG/tourist couples.

typically the mood/random of the staff de jour will effect whether application accepted/approved or more 'documentation' needed lol

 

but the line of applicants is so long & steady that it's not that hard to blame them really. it's a mess.

 

as outlined in an excellent recent oppinion piece in the english dailies the value of a thai passport is really declining fast (as if offers such a limited freedom to travel the world e.g. compared to Malaysia, Taiwan etc)) - so really obscure toxic struggled so hard to get it back !!

[think_too_mut]

That seems like a *lot* of money, but I don't know how that compares to salaries in Japan. Its great that you are willing to put so much effort into your daughter's education - if you saw some of the tragically illiterate kids our schools are churning out in Oz ..... anything beyond texting seems to be beyond many of them.

 

It is expensive in Japan too. to Pay 25K you have to earn 40K. That's more than yearly salary for English teachers in Japan.

 

Again, a different world from Bangkok (strangely, it is more expensive in BKK in absolute let alone relative terms) where waiting time for International school is ~8 years (unless both parents are complete foreigners) there is nobody knocking on the door. The reason being International schools are deemed inferior compared to public (free) Japanese schools. Which I may agree with.

 

Now back to "marry down".

 

If you try to enroll your kid into, say, Bangkok Pattana International School, and the kid comes from a mixed marriage, most likely you won't succeed.

A "whole family interview" pops up and the school makes sure no child from a family where a faintest whiff of a bargirl past can be sensed is ever admitted.

 

Rich Thai parents on the waiting list would explode if a child from such a family is let in before their own (a limit of 40% of local children is strictly adhered to).

 

An exception may be made if the child is transfering from another International school, that happens very rarely and is hardly noticable.

[Lew_Ashby]

Marry down means marry someone below your social level, implies lower than your education level. Even far below.

 

Marry out means marry someone out of your race.

 

There it starts. The two "outs" are a reciepe for trouble. Marry "out" is a smaller one, people marry outside of their race the world over.

 

But that "marry down" is our real problem.

 

Staying in Thai, that may be tolerable. There our wives kick some ass - their country, their language, we are like kids being hand held.

 

Take them out and you see all what it is.

They are terrible wives, terrible mothers, they may be 5% of what an average farang woman would be, once they are out of Thai.

 

Not only this site, others too, talk about Thai women "being faranged" and back to bar industry. Someone in farangland could not cope with them any more and sent them back.

 

Having lived in Asia for pretty much all my adult life (since 25yo), it puzzles me to no end just WHY a guy would settle for, why he would date a woman, whom he woud NEVER date back in his home country.

 

It boggles the mind. At least my admitted pea-brain.

 

Why settle for less than you want? Because she's "pretty?" Pretty girls are a dime a dozen. FFS guys, respect yourseft more. Ya, it sounds preachy, but I totally believe it. And that's what I told my daughters when they made bad choices in boyfriends too. It still holds true.

 

Take it or leave it. Call me an asshole for it, I don't care. The advice is still the same.

 

That's not to say I didn't fall into the honey trap a time or six. But I woke up and got out without too much damage. I'm just sayin', use your head. A marriage is a partnership, where both sides bring pretty much equal things to the table; and just being hot and a decent fuck is not one of the things that needs to be accepted at that table, unless her family is loaded (with money, not lao kao!).

 

I'm just sayin'...I don't know shit. But I have had a 20 year marriage with a hot ("hi-so" as some would say, not me) chick and have two beautiful daughters with her who are in med school in the US. And during our marriage, and the divorce, ex-wife made sure I never got anything less than i deserved -- e.g., names on Thai chanotes, etc; completely share our wealth/bank accounts/etc..

 

Now I have a new fiance who will go to the ends of the Earth for me and doesn't want me to buy her a house nor give a satang to her family (in fact, she's told her Ma in front of me -- very heatedly -- that "she'll wait for her to die" before we get married) so there's no sin-sod issues! "Mrs Ashby" knows that that is one of my very few hot-button issues and respects me enough to defend that.

 

I'm nobody special. I'm not Brad Pitt. I'm now old & fat. I just have some game and don't date anyone I would not date if I were back in Farangland. Making a match is just as important to me as the chick being a hottie. One just has to be patient and get the whole package. Why would you settle? This is the most important decision of your life!

 

That just seems to make sense to me. Maybe that's why I don't have anything bad to say about the plethora of Thai women with whom I have had relations (many GFs of whom I was fond of; but just two who made it to the "seriously special" class).

 

I have seen bad shit happen to guys I know, but I don't know the whole story, so I refrain from commenting. Even tho' I think I know why...it is not my place to say. YMMV...

[Flashermac]

The average Farang who doesn't speak Thai and work with Thais more than likely is going to "marry down". He simply has little chance to meet anyone else. Of my married Farang colleagues, only one has a Mrs without a university degree. That is not to see we don't have problems, but at least we have eliminated a fair number of them.

 

Several of my female Thai colleagues admitted to me that they'd love to have a Farang husband, but they never get to meet any - since those they work with are either already married or gay!

[WorldFun]

nice bumpup there Lew_A!

cant really argue with the logic, but for flasher I'm happy to disagree as usual

can't meet anyone outside of everyday circles or even any random chance meet somewhere???

ever heard of online dating since like 10 years?

whatever

anyway im just a man whore so marrying a katoey would actually be like a step up or 2 kinda like hiso nice

p.s. do katoey usually require sinsod & how much in % of hot hisos?

[panadolsandwich]

I met a few possibles. They were great for a while. Some were a little crazy - I'm minded of the phrase 'there was a willow aslant a brook'. Well there were plenty of those.