Torneyboy

A husband and wife noticed that their little boy's penis was a little too small so they took him to the doctor. They expressed their concerns to the doctor. The doctor said to feed the little boy lots of toast.

 

The next morning, the wife gets up really early and makes a huge stack of toast. When the little boy comes down to breakfast, the mother says," Take the top two slices. The rest are for your father."

I wondered why the Scots ate a lot of toast...

Good one :thumbup:

Boom Boom ..

Good one.. :thumbup:

The Tourism Authority of Thailand (TAT) is campaigning for quality Chinese visitors to boost business from Mainland China and to curb the long existing â??zero-dollar tours.â?Â

How will TAT determine whom is a quality tourist i wonder....

Boom boom

teddy's joke was using "chunky" in a slang way and a play on words ...hope this helps

That is due to all the smoke..

He won't notice

MM will enjoy that i am sure

There's an Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman all talking about their teenage daughters. The Englishman says" I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day & I found a packet of cigarettes. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she smokes".

The Irishman says " That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a half full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank."

With that the Scotsman says " Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a cock"

I can!

Can you post a pic of that one?

* AUSSIE KISS.

Similar to a French Kiss but given down under.

Good one :thumbup:

So he would have time as the baddie would be trying to work out what the hell the cop just said..

What would the Scottish cops answer be ....?

I think i will stick to reading the original to my three year old neice....

That has changed since i was at school.....

Very funny ... :thumbup:

TB, when you changed 'Australian' to 'Scottish' you should also have changed 'An' to 'A' as in 'An Australian couple' / 'A Scottish couple'.

 

The moral of this is, if your grammar is dodgy then don't fuck with another man's jokes.

Oops ..sorry Teach ..will take more care next time..

An Scottish couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about an African black bush tribe whose men all had penises 18 inches long. When a tribal male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 18 inches.

 

Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked at him and said, 'How about we try the African string-and-weight procedure?'

 

The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis.

 

A few days later, the wife asked the husband, 'How is our little tribal experiment coming along?'

 

'Well, it looks like we're about half way there,' he replied.

 

'Wow, you mean it's grown to 9 inches?'

 

'No, it's turned black.'

Excellent :thumbup:

Boom Boom... :thumbup:

No need ..MM will let you know real quick ..or at least he does for me ..

You are on a roll