Guest Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 okay, i have heard it a from both sides to some extent. i have talked to her on the phone a number of times, and we have great conversations (especially for two people who don't speak each others languages well). she sounds like she is the happiest girl on earth when i talk to her, and never asks for money. although she worked in a beer bar, she did occasionally "work" as well. she has since quit, which i feel confident she has, because i call at night and she is now always at home, whereas before she had to work every night. she used money i gave her to pay 5000 baht to be "released" from her beer bar job. i have already downloaded the fiance visa application, because it seems like the only chance in hell of getting her to the US without marrying her first, even though it basically obligates you to marriage within 90 days on getting here. I have read the stikman guide, but this girl is young, rather naive, and absolutely hates working the bar scene. she seems to genuinely like and care for me. any other thoughts/advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jingjoh Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 How old is she? more important, how old are you? What do you look like? are you a catch for a girl back home? Dont get me wrong, not trying to be rude, just some basic thoughts you need to go over, its amazing how these girls can come across as so perfect and devoted and in love with you, but the amount of times its all fake are really depressing. Healthy scepticism is not a bad thing. Would you decide to propose to a girl you met in a bar back home after seeing her for a week? Its the same thing as a fiance visa. The fact that these girls can so easily carry on a series of relationships with a handful of different men is something to be really wary of. An example is the girl who recieves a very large sum from her BF who lives in another asian country and who sees her once a month, yet she keeps another farang BF in Thailand who is a dreg, no money, no job, but he is here and the other one is not. Logic dictates this girl is an idiot to risk the man that truly cares for her, but in reality they just dont seem to care. No matter how young, how long they worked (they all tell you I work 1 month etc etc) its all the same old line taught from girl to girl. About the only real way a guy can tell if a girl is new is if he hangs at the same bar every night for months and knows everyone working there.. sorry to go off on a little tangent there A female bar owner friend of mine said to me why do Farang never talk about themselves, but they want to know everything the girl has done, everywhere she has been, everyone she has fucked, etc etc, when its none of their business, the girl is here now and the past is not important, and no girl is going to tell her real past to a man she has known for a few weeks. This from a woman in the business a long time, and its logical, why would the girl tell you what she has done before?? A 19 yr old I know has worked in Patpong dancing for 2 years, she knows she can only ever be friends with me so she told me a bit about her self over time. 19, looks cute as a button, yet the English pronounciation gives her away I would not have picked her as working 2 years on a stage, except for the English. I would look towards coming back, get time off, dont waste your time with Visas etc. One thing that you gotta realise is these girls are from a farming environment usually, in a close knit society, with people around them 24/7. How will she handle the loneliness of the US? she needs time to absorb farang habits and you need to see if she can adapt to you and your ways and change, as change is something a large majority of these girls are incapable of doing. Sorry to ramble back and forth, too lazy to split the post.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 Go for it, don't let anyone tell you how to live your life. you have read enough on this board, and you need to find out by yourself, so you don't have regrets later. The odds may be low, but they are not against you or for you. I hope it works out, visa and love, let us know any way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 quote: Originally posted by mspoonamore: i am sure that it is crazy to think you can know someone is the one after a week, but i will say i have never had the feeling i get when i look into her eyes. maybe it is/was my intense fascination with being with someone so different from me, yet we are able to totally connect. I guess, you have a problem with real people. Thai gf can let you have a dream, but if the relationship really works, you can only tell after a couple of arguments together. It doesn't matter, how much you love each other, but how well you handle differences. And Thais are pretty bad in this discipline. Maybe you too. Roland Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
los Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 She could have borrowed money from the bar, though. Yo 127, Your right- Beer Bar owners have nothing better to do with what little money that is dripping in during Low Season than to hand 5,000 baht of it over to working girls with a 3 month track record that are know to blow in and out like the wind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JAYBLOOM Posted August 28, 2001 Report Share Posted August 28, 2001 I met my wife in June 1997, she worked in a travel agent on Soi 5. In December 1997 she came to join me in Colorado. It has been going well but there are a lot of communication problems. Here are links for the Fiancee visa process. http://www.k1faq.com/ http://www.delphi.com/ThaiFalang/start/ Click on the category heading "VISA/Immigration USA" If you have any questions you can e mail me bloomfieldjay@hotmail.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted August 29, 2001 Report Share Posted August 29, 2001 quote: Originally posted by land o' scams: She could have borrowed money from the bar, though. Yo 127, Your right- Beer Bar owners have nothing better to do with what little money that is dripping in during Low Season than to hand 5,000 baht of it over to working girls with a 3 month track record that are know to blow in and out like the wind. well, get out of Uranus and get inside the scene. No thaibarbusiness lends money unless he gets a handle on how to get it back. It can be a very small world out there around the bar scene. I just know it happened, especially with girls who have good barfine records and pay back quick. Don't think it's so loosely tied a business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
los Posted August 29, 2001 Report Share Posted August 29, 2001 mspoonamore, I have spent a lot of time in beer bars all over Thailand and have never come across a release fee from a beer bar.Even girls that work and live in beer bars don't have this problem. Why would anyone give 5,000 baht to a beer bar owner to stop showing up for work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 29, 2001 Report Share Posted August 29, 2001 i am 32 and she is 21. i am a good looking guy who has had a number of great girlfriends in the US...but never the right one. i am sure that it is crazy to think you can know someone is the one after a week, but i will say i have never had the feeling i get when i look into her eyes. maybe it is/was my intense fascination with being with someone so different from me, yet we are able to totally connect. she grew up in bangkok and i even visited the high school she went to. she says she had only worked inn the bar for 3 months, and judging from how shy she is/was i basically believe it, when i compare to other girls who i met who had been there for awhile. the funny thing is, i read stikmans before i went and laughed at the stories and idea of falling in love with young little thai girl, but now i'm not sure if i'm the biggest idiot or the most fortunate to find someone so special. i am worried that she will be bored here in USA, but i thought that i could help get her connected with some thai friends here in Los Angeles so she wouldn't be too lonely. believe me, i frankly can't believe i am even considering this but my gut says if i don't try it, i will really regret not doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted August 29, 2001 Report Share Posted August 29, 2001 Oops! missed that one. right on, Land oSc... She could have borrowed money from the bar, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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