Guest Posted October 5, 2001 Report Share Posted October 5, 2001 Take your time and it will happen. Don’t let the skeptics knock you down to much. I made it happen and still is working. And still no mention of I need $$$$ so go for it but do take care. Make a good effort at it and will come true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 6, 2001 Report Share Posted October 6, 2001 oh boy.....I have made around a dozen trips and fallen for quite a few -but at my age, 47,(and a divorce) I am quite sceptical of the ability of LTR (long term relationships) to last, especially with the added strain of how you met (will either of you ever forget??), cultural differences (they are pretty vast) and shit man-you don't know her well enough yet.....my advice is, if possible, take it slow, how bout another visit by you, longer, at least try and find out a bit more about each other before comitment.....my friend brought "the love of his life"(sounding eerily like your friend-only hostess for 2 months, 20yo, sweet etc) here a few months ago, married and already the strains are showing-she is desperately missing LOS, and is often unhappy- cause he can't zoom off with her for vacation for at least another year and she misses her family/friends a lot more than she thought she would.....anyway, good luck my friend, I am rooting for you and let us know how you do!!! "you can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 6, 2001 Report Share Posted October 6, 2001 Dear mspoonamore, Yes I agree, the 5000 baht release fee does sound kinda strange. I am new to this web site and I am learning from the rest of the "vets" what the deal is in the land of illusion". Reality tells us that a trick is a trick and a ho is a ho. You still gotta folow your gutt and insticts ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lusty Posted October 6, 2001 Report Share Posted October 6, 2001 I may as well chuck in my 2bahts worth. I understand the dilemma you are going through.People like Stickman and Land o Scams are very very well jenned up on all this.We as newbies cannot or will not see through the illusion.Tread very carefully through this minefield of possible deception. I,like you would love to have a long term Thai partner.I will test the water first but not rush into anything. "He who hogs the spliff gets stonedest" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSTEACH Posted October 6, 2001 Report Share Posted October 6, 2001 If you want to love a Thai lady longterm, go find a non-bargirl, a "good girl." You would be amazed at the difference. Nuff said... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 6, 2001 Report Share Posted October 6, 2001 mspoonamore beware of boredom in your GF. My current sweetie is fantastic in the apt, cleans it spotless every day but then gets bored, and we are in BKK. I'd imagine it would be worse for her if we were in the West. I'm going to try to get her to take on an English course to learn our lingo and occupy her mind(?) Spend at least a month with her as another poster suggested. It will show up any faults in either of you. Would like to buy you a beer or 2 before you see her next trip, I have a couple of interesting stories for you. Good luck to you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 6, 2001 Report Share Posted October 6, 2001 i am going back in november, probably get to Bangkok on Nov 23 or something...i would definitely like to meet up with some of you to hang out and share some stories..i'm sure you all have more than me. i know the 5000 baht thing sounds weird, but she may have some that to pay off some other debt- i'm not sure. i know (i truly felt this when i was with her and even now when i talk to her) that she did not like working in the bar. she now has moved to chiang mai and is taking an english class and computer class. she even calls me weekly because she is quite lonely. i feel bad about it bacause she dislikes the bar, but i am sure it provided some social stimulation for her. now, all she does is go to school and go home. anytime i call, day or night she is home (except for her 4 hours of class in the morning everyday). at times i am sure it will work between us, and sometimes i think it might be just crazy to bring her back here to the US. i will see how things go in november and keep you all posted- ms Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 13, 2001 Report Share Posted October 13, 2001 After reading all the posts in this thread I think I have to add my voice to the chorus. My recent experience not only sounds very similar, it has me wondering if we've both been fostering a relationship with the same woman. A couple subtle differences would say not but they are reeeal subtle. Listen to this. I went to BKK (and asia) for the first time to visit a friend that had just moved there at the end of August. I had no intention of hooking up with any thai lady let alone a bar girl since my girlfriend back home and I were in the last stages of breaking up. Well on my first night there my friend and a friend of his took me out on the town for some culture shock. To no one's surprise we eventually ended up at Nana Plaza. After milling about the street outside and the courtyard gawking at the spectacle we settled into one of the smaller bars on the second floor (Fantasia). No big deal. Basically an asian version of any old strip club USA. Of course I knew the significant difference between the two. I met a girl in that bar that "did it" for me. Adorable like many others but this one and I just clicked. We stayed until closing then we said goodbye and went home (seperately). I left for the south the next day for a few days but this girl had somehow got stuck in my brain pan. When I got back to Bangkok that night I stopped by to see if she was there. She was and I immediately barfined her so we could take off. We went out and she spent the night with me (sleeping not sex). Over the next week she was with me the entire time. I barfined her out for the week but she didn't want me to pay her for her time or for sex. We did all sorts of fun bonding things and after going to Khao Yai and Phnom Rung we stopped by her family's place in Buriram for an evening. by the time I was to go back home; against all cliche's attachments were formed. I am currently still in contact with her. We talk on the phone twice a week and email often. My friend living in Bangkok and his girlfriend (not a bargirl, upper class and related to the royal family in fact) have geniuinely befriended her and they all hang out together. Everyone loves her and believes her to truly be a good sincere person. So of course she wants to be with me and come to the states. As a bargirl from a poor rice farmer family; hooking up with someone like me and coming to the states is no hidden aspiration on her part. After research Ive come to the same conclusion everyon else has. The only way for her to realistically come here would be on a fianc'e visa. I've considered just about every concern and hardship voiced regarding bringing an ex bar girl to the states. And then some. against all logic though I am still considering following through. So is this all sounding familiar? If not let me add this. According to what I know of her story it goes like this. She is 20 years old. She was only working in the bar 2 months before I met her. Her sister also works in the bar. Aside from supporting herself she sends home money to her poor mother and father in Buriram to help with the farm and to rebuild their house that burnt down a few years ago (when I visited they were living in the barn). In an effort to enrich communications and in the hope of coming to the states she has started english lessons. Now how similar do our stories sound? to add even more to the cliche she has a tattoo on her right shoulder and scars on her left inner forearm. After reading Stickman's site when I got back she had 2 of the marks of a typical bar girl he steers clear of. She doesn't smoke, drink, do drugs, her english is terrible, and she hasn't much of a clue of what to do in bed so I feel she's still way new in the career of a bar girl. So now that I've outlined a situation nobody would willingly enter into why am I still in it. I believe and have observed her to be a genuinely wonderful person. To me and everyone I've seen her interact with. I've come to know her and understand her position in life and the way she pursues it. Even in her current situation she has a simple dream in her life and I have become the leading role of that story. I feel she is that diamond in the rough. Although at present she may not even be coal yet. If love is seeing someone's faults and loving them all the same I love her. But I'm not blind. I know the situation. I've heard many variations on the story and most are tales of woe. I would not even be suprised if I'm not the only one she's cultivating for a husband. In her game if she wants to marry out of her situation I could see her corresponding not only with me but with anyone she feels is suitable. In her world a lot of farang men fall in love with her co workers and promise to marry them and take them away. It happens all the time but I'm sure much more often practicality wears infatuation down and leaves them in the exact same spot. So knowing the odds and scenarios I continue with her. Unlike some who would justify their relationship by saying "but she's different" I would say she's just like many others in that scene as am I. It all comes down to what you feel. I feel I would rather have the regret of repeating the textbook nightmare cliche than to let doubt and suspicion raised by a legion of identical relationships that failed ruin something that might have a chance. I wouldn't fault anyone for seeing the situation and cutting it off out of self preservation. In most ways it makes more sense. You have much better odds with a girl from your own environment. But then again there are no formulas for success in your own culture and no shortages of heartache, divorce, manipulation, etc, etc, etc... If you do continue with it don't delude yourself. Find out as much as you can and really really take a sober look at the cosequences of what you are getting yourself into. That way if it all ends up fucked down the line you won't be hating yourself for being naive and stupid just idealistic and stupid. Good Luck X 100 to you. paul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spirit_of_town_hall Posted October 13, 2001 Report Share Posted October 13, 2001 Pdub, She sounds like a nice genuine lady go for it, what's the worst thing that could happen!! Also so what if she has or is corresponding with other guys, do you now not talk with other girls, if you were in Bangkok without her would you never go to another bar, of course you would. Don't expect her to live up to expectations which you yourself wouldnt do. Incidentally try living in Thailand with her for a few months and see how it works out. [ October 13, 2001: Message edited by: spirit_of_town_hall ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 13, 2001 Report Share Posted October 13, 2001 You are an idiot. Its for sure this gal doesn't love you and never will. You are just a meal ticket. You are probably one of these guys that never got many girls, if any, back in the states, so when one comes on to you in LOS, you lose your head. Well people will blieve what they WANT to believe--regardless of how outlandish it really is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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