Tbear's Newbie Trip (Part 5, epilogue)

[tbear31]

Tbear's Newbie Trip in Thailand (part 5, epilogue)

 

Shake shake shake, shake shake shake, shake your booty!:

So, maybe the fifth day I'm in Pattaya, massage girl thinks that we should

go dancing. She suggests a place call Xzyte, or some spelling

like that. I am basically expecting a small bar, with a small dance area

with a Thai DJ spinning songs such as "Hotel California", or the Bee Gees.

I think whatever; I have time to kill before its time to molest her in the

hotel room.

Well, before we go, she invites her girlfriend and they tell me that they

need to change. Fine with me. We grab a baht bus, and head to their

apartment. I am completely expecting squalor, but I'm anxious to see this

side of Thailand, and to see how these girls live. I'm also curious to see

if there will be any clues to "Thai boyfriends", or any other type of

secrets.

When we get to their apartment, massage girl goes upstairs, and her

girlfriend waits with me downstairs. After about 10 minutes of chit-chat,

her girlfriend asks me if I want to see their room. I say sure, why not,

thinking that somehow this might lead to a three-way. We go upstairs, and

I am completely in private-eye mode. It hits

me that this whole "waiting downstairs" was just a ploy to have some time

to clean up the place upstairs. We get to the top floor, and I see shoes.

I check to see if there are any wing-tips, air jordans, or any other type

of men's shoes. None; she passes with flying colors.

I walk inside the room. It is basically a normal sized room, with a queen

sized mattress on the floor. She shares this room with three girls

working at the bar. There is a small rack of clothes on one side

of the wall, and a screen door that leads out to some sort of balcony.

They tell me to have a seat. While they blab away, I completely scour the

room for any type of clues. I notice that on the wall, there are pieces

of tape, and little rips of paper, as if someone had just removed 4 or 5

posters from the wall. I also notice a stack of pictures on the dresser,

which is right next to me. I ask if I can see the pictures. There are

basically 20-30 pictures of the girlfriend with various men. A picture of

her at the bar. A picture on an elephant. A picture in a boat. A

picture at a restaurant. It really puts their life, and my

significance in their life, in perspective. It was kind of like the first

time that you consider that you live on one street, in one city, in one

state, in one country, on one world, in one solar system, out of countless

solar systems. I ask to see massage girl's pictures. "Me no have

pictures!". I thought she was lying, but probably just to make me feel

better. Later, I notice that she is reading a letter with thai writing on

one side, and english on the other. I ask to see it. It is basically a

note from some american sailor. "Me no like him. I like you! I not show

you if I not like you", or something like that.

We finally head to the disco. I was completely shocked.

Xzyte is a little ways off, but from the outside it reminded me of a big

bowling alley. We walk inside and I am really in awe. First of all, it

is huge! I reminded me of the venues where they hold the grammy awards.

It had a big stage up front, and there were performers on stage doing thai

songs. There were dancers in costumes, and lighting effects. One

woman performer did AC/DC's "Shook Me All Night Rong". Nearly fell

out of my seat. Between the songs the performers would talk to the crowd,

and the crowd would go wild. I would say that it was mostly a thai crowd,

lots of girls. At one point, this white (russian?) girl comes over and

hugs me and says "I love black men!" I look at the girls and give them a

"What can I say?" look. After the performers get off stage, they play

dance music and almost everyone is dancing. Some of the girls get on

these platforms and go wild. It was a lot of fun.

The day after, massage girl takes me to Hollywood. This is mostly the

same except for the service. There almost seems to be a 1-2 ratio between

service staff and customers. At some point during the evening, the

napkins in a container on the table made the unforgiveable sin of wilting.

In seconds, our table attendant was there to straighten them up. A drop

of condensation from a beer was instantly taken care of. Now, on

american TV there is some commercial that talks about "What ever happened

to service?". Reason #3453 to go to Thailand.

A one point during the evening, I had to answer the call of nature. Once

inside the bathroom, I noticed what almost appeared to be a convention of

thai guys, just seemingly standing around. I ignored them and went to the

urinal to do my business. Seconds later I feel this warm towel on the

back of my neck. As this is a first for me, it temporarly interrupts the

flow of things, if you know what I mean, and I'm a bit perplexed on where

this is going next. I mean, I don't even like to talk to people in the

bathroom, much less be touched. Following the towel, the guy starts

massaging my neck. This pretty much cuts off all urine flow completely,

and I zip up (thankfully unassisted). My "bladder relief engineer" then

turns on the water for me, and provides the liquid soap to wash my hands.

A scented towel is then provided. A couple of more hard whacks on the

back and I'm good to go. I once mused that the worst job in the world is

a toll collector; something about having to touch thousands of peoples

hands, and non-stop work for 8-10 hours. I now know that the toll

collectors live the good life compared to these guys. I don't even want

to consider the assistance that these guys provide if you have to do a #2.

That was my last night in Pattaya. I spent the night with massage girl

and in the morning I said goodbye. No tears were shed, but she looked a

little sad. She promised to write me, and I her. At one point during

the week, mama-san suggested that I go to massage girl's village to meet

her parents. I declined since I got visions of sleeping on a wooden

floor, and getting the dowry hard sell. Additionally, I didn't

understand why mama-san was asking instead of massage girl. The reason

I bring this up is, although I had a great time with her, and we had a

lot of laughs, I'm not thoroughly convinced that she even liked me.

Another reason I bring this up is that communication with the girls can

sometimes be hard, at one level because of the language, but also little

cultural things. Maybe she thought I just wanted sex, and was put off

that I didn't go to her village. I was always a little weary that I was

spending too much money on her and her friends. I think if we could

just communicate a little more, we would have had a better time. My

time with her ended with a kiss, and seeing the elevator doors close.

My driver was waiting for me downstairs and we raced to Bangkok. Once

there, I knew I had 1 day left to do about 100 things that I wanted to do

in Bangkok. I went to Panthip Plaza and bought some VCDs and MP3 CDs. I

also recieved the greatest compliment of the trip. While picking out some

VCDs, I saw this really cute girl, probably 21-22 staring at me (Oh, I'm

not sure if I mentioned this before, but if you just happen to be a black

6'4" American guy, expect to be CONSTANTLY stared at while in Bangkok). I

gave her a big smile and she smiles back and giggles with her girlfriend

sitting next to her. She then says, "You have very beautiful smile!"

This somehow means the much to me from all the comments, since it was

coming from a "regular" girl in a mall, instead of someone that I was

paying, or who wanted to be paid. It was EXACTLY at this point in time,

while looking into her big brown eyes, that I realize that somehow, some

way, I have to find a way to move here.

I went back to the Nana Hotel (booked again for 1 night). And got dressed

to go to Nana Plaza. I saw "the fellas"; college girl, smiling girl and I

had a few drinks and said goodbye. I then went on a speed tour of Nana.

I went into many go-gos, but most were empty. I ended up at one on the

left side of the second floor. Decided to just have a beer before

continuing my search, but as always ran into a cutey. She looked like she

had some sort of nose job, which had me on alert. She probably was

thinking "Falang crazy", when she saw me eye her C section scar, and

breathe a sigh of relief. She had a really pretty face and I barfined her

ST. We went back to Nana and had great sex. She left, and I went to

sleep for the night. The next day I was on my way back to the states.

 

Epilogue:

Well, where do I begin? I went to Thailand and quite frankly, it was

nothing that I expected. I expected soapy massages every day, a

threesome at Eden, kicking the girl's asses in connect 4, and a different

woman every night; none of this happened. However, in the two weeks that

I was there, I felt like I experienced alot, and got the "condensed"

version of what Thailand has to offer. I met good bargirls, and I met bad

bargirls. Sometimes I spent $40/day, other times I spend $200/day. I got

ripped off so many times, that it's not even worth counting. Basically, I

was a newbie. And now, I know that the next time I go to Thailand...

I'll still be a newbie. Even after 4 years of preparation, there were

times when I completely felt over my head. For me, I think it was getting

caught up in everything, it is such a different experience then anything

that you can find in the states.

But that really was what made it so great. It was a CHALLENGE; it kept

my interest like no other vacation has. Is a man with tits and a vagina

still a man? Can a guy looking to buy sex fall in love with a women

selling herself? Does the perfect BJ even exist in Thailand? How the

hell do those thai farm girls know that I've lost the connect 4 game after

I've played 3 checkers? How could the housekeeping staff at the Nana

Hotel not even recognize that their bath mats are black with mold? Is the

whole country just an illusion, funded by my credit card? Each day I woke

up without a plan, and just see where Thailand would take me that day.

And I know that I did not come away from my vacation unscathed. The

current girl that I had been tyring to get together with in the states

called me the day I returned. I didn't return her call for 4 days. I

have gone from calling her twice a day to hear her neurotic babblings,

to screening her phone calls. Before I left, she thought that she had me

beat with a pair of aces underneath her fuzzy sweater, but now I have the

number to a travel agent who can slip me 4 queens (and sometimes three

queens and a king) underneath the table, that will beat her pair every

time. Every girl's ass in the states seems a little larger, and

body hair on a girl makes me want to puke.

Massage girl wrote me a few days ago, asking if I made it back OK,

and how my family was, and how much she missed me. Neurotic girl called

the same day to see if I could help her move.

 

In my head, I now have one currency; TST (Thai Short Time). Fill

up the gas tank, 1 TST. Average date with neurotic girl, 3 TSTs.

Rent for the month, 75 TSTs. My friend got engaged while I was gone; the

cost of the ring: 500 TSTs.

On the plus side, I have been smiling a lot more. My mood is

lifted knowing there is a place like Thailand. I now look forward

to retiring. Traffic doesn't bother me as much, and I tend to sing in the car more.

My advice? If you have been thinking about going to Thailand, go. Call a

travel agent and tell them you want to go to Thailand. Don't wait to get

all your friends together. Go now. Don't wait until work slows down. Call

now. Don't wait until you retire. Put it on a credit card. Don't wait

until the high season. Just go. Don't wait for the low season. Just do it,

now.

Oh yea, I also wanted to answer a few questions; THIS IS MY OPINION ONLY:

Is Thailand racist?

Yes, no question. It is completely different then

racisim in the states. In Thailand, I can get a taxi a 4am in the

morning, but I will have to pay 50 cents more then a native Thai. In New

York City, my body could turn into a rotting corpse waiting for a taxi to

pick me up; however, my corpse will be charged the same rate as other

living beings.

Does price matter?

I didn't see any change in service based on how much you paid the girls.

Are freelancers more fun?

The one freelancer that I picked up was a complete bi-polar, stalking,

ugly, beer-giving, tongue-kissing, psychopath. I can only assume they are

all this way. Stay away!

BKK or Pattaya, which is more fun?

I though Pattaya is more fun, and would even consider skipping BKK

altogether for my next trip. But I would add that I had a better guide in

Pattaya then I did in BKK. (See previous answer).

In closing, I'll just say this. Today I was in the car, and I was

thinking about Thailand, and what I would put into this final report. A

thought occurred to me. If Thailand were a woman; long dark hair,

alluring brown eyes, full pouty lips, golden silky

skin, upturned breasts with deep brown nipples, and

that insanely small waist, what would I want to say to her to explain

how I felt during the trip? I think it would go something like this:

"I don't want to close my eyes

I don't want to fall asleep

'cause I'd miss you baby

and I don't want to miss a thing.

'cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream will never do

'cause I'd still miss you baby

And I don't want to miss a thing."

Well that's it for me, I hope you have enjoyed my ramblings. Thanks again

guys!

T

[spirit_of_town_hall]

Book you next flight now, and start planning your retirement when you are still young enough to enjoy it. I am convinced you could retire to LOS and live happily ever after with a minimum of about $250 000 dollars.

$ 250 000 on an average return of 6.3% is $ 15 750 or 708 750 baht per year 59 062 baht per month, more than enough.

The best internet bank account in the UK is offering 7.3% www.smile.co.uk.

Tbear keep your nose to the grind stone and you could be a retiree in LOS in 5 years time, as long as you don't get married you can do it!!

[thai3]

where did you see 7.3%? I can only see:

4.25% to 5.00% gross AER on the site-peter

quote:

---

Originally posted by spirit_of_town_hall:

The best internet bank account in the UK is offering 7.3%

www.smile.co.uk.

---

[spirit_of_town_hall]

Originally posted by Peter G:

[QB]where did you see 7.3%? I can only see:

4.25% to 5.00% gross AER on the site-peter

Hello Peter,

The 7.3% applies to amounts over £ 25 k also with notice. Another good saving place is www.egg.com

Incidentally for those who are prepared to be adventurous banks in th Czech republic are offering very good rates.

I'll try and route out their addresses

Chiow

[tbear31]

Just made the booking, the suspense was killing me. 125 days to go. Will be there November 24th - December 1. Hope to collect on some of the beer offers.

T

[Guest]

Tbear, I am on bowing to you like a praying Muslim very well done and said.

Mykal

LOS in September

[Steve]

Great post Tbear. If every single guy in the states would visit Thailand just once, we wouldn't put up with the mess most American women (and I imagine the same elsewhere) have us deal with.

Still want to know the frat you referred to in an earlier post.

Lastly, welcome to the club!

[Guest]

TBear,

Thank you for taking the time to write such an eloquent report, but mostly, thank you for allaying some of my soon-to-be newbie fears.

I'd love to see the second trip report now that you're "experienced".

Thanks again,

[follies]

Tbear,

This is the first time i've visited the trip reports section and read 5 posts without pause (you had me hooked on post 1)

Very well-written very honest, and pretty accurate. You make a great case for life in Thailand (you could move there & write for a living-many have,and you're better than some of them!!!!!)

[fatbastard33]

Originally posted by tbear31:

"Just made the booking, the suspense was killing me. 125 days to go. Will be there November 24th - December 1. Hope to collect on some of the beer offers."

Well done, welcome to the club.

Fatbastard33