Ranger invades Pattaya (again)

[Ranger]

There were supposed to be at least 4 of us in Pattaya on this trip. F got bit by a spider and was convinced that he was dying or at the very least his arm would fall off, so he went to see the doctor (How do you spell hypocondriac?). D and S had better excuses as work comes first. So, I hopped the bus alone.

Now, I had heard rumors that there were bars here that had girls in them-WOW! I also heard that even if you were a shy boy like me, the girls would actually talk to you and pretend to like you. I had no idea where to go or if it was really true, but as I wandered around town, I saw this little street named Soi Yodsak and decided to try my luck in one of the bars.

There was one bar called King Kong, could a bar named after a giant ape be any fun? I went in to find out. OK, enough of this bullshit, you all know how great Soi Yodsak is. I diddled for a while and finally went upstairs with a cute girl. I could tell that her body wasn't the best, but she gave me a preview of her specialty while I was sitting in the bar, so I didn't really care about the body. Good thing, as she had possibly the worst baby scars and saggiest tits that I had EVER seen on a 20 yr old girl. She more than made up for it with her oral skills and I walked downstairs weak-kneed with a smile on my face. Did some post BJ diddling and she tried her best to intice me into another round, but my superior will power (yeah, right!) won out and I paid my bill (300B + 500B to the girl) and left.

Walked past a dozen other bars and saw a few cuties amongst the hags. Somebody posted on the another thread that Soi Yodsak is full of ugly, used up girls and is for smelly, fat, old sex tourists. OK, that's partially true, but there are always one or 2 diamonds in the rough at each bar, and some of us aren't smelly, fat, old sex tourists. I am a freshly showered, thin, semi-young sex tourist, damn it! Walked past the bar where Miss 175 used to work and spotted one of the "diamonds in the rough". A 20 yr old from Surin that had been here a month (yeah, I know they all say that, but I have been in this bar more than a few times and never seen her before).

Went inside and soon the diddling commenced. Nice body, no baby and a great kisser. My previous superior will power collapsed and I asked her if she wanted to go upstairs. Yes, but she said she could only smoke and not "boomsing" as the guy she was with yesterday I guess had an enormous cock (H, did you sneak back into town?) and left her "jep mak mak".

Normally, I would have just gone upstairs anyway, but there was something I liked about this girl. I told her that I would be here for 4 days and would wait for her to heal and then would barfine her and take her out all day. She loved this and I spent the next 2 hours making out and putting on my best pakwaan (sweet mouth) act.

We exchanged phone numbers and she promised to call me as soon as her pussy no longer hurt. 5 minutes after I left the bar, she called to say she "missed me too much already". Did I mention that Soi Yodsak is one of the greatest streets in the universe?

Well, that was my afternoon in Pattaya. I paraphrase the old US army slogan "I do more by 4 pm than most people do all day (maybe all week)". F, you pussy, your arm isn't going to fall off, get your ass down here tomorrow (I am just giving him shit, it did look pretty ugly last night).

I started the night off in search of a gal the Lawyer had recommended from the last trip. Before you guys flip me any shit about that, he gave me the green light. Besides, after he barfined the girl I spent 2 days with and then sold her to the highest bidder, I can't feel guilty about this-LOL! She was at the bar, but already had a date for the night. She sat and talked with me for a long time and declined my offer to buy her a drink (pretty nice) since she was already barfined for the night. She wasn't sure how many days she would be tied up with this guy, so she took my phone # and I'll see her another time and probably another trip.

Walking past the beer bars on Soi 8, I spotted a gal that looked way too damn fine to be working in a beer bar and decided to stop and have a drink. She was absolutley gorgeous with golden skin and a stellar body from what I could tell, but I quickly noticed a potentially huge problem-yellow eyes. That made me take another look at the golden skin-Hepatitis? I made polite small talk for a bit and then excused myself.

I decided to go over to Hot N Cold 2 on Soi 7, but noticed they had a new sign up. The place is now called Full Moon Night and there were 2 girls outside who told me that it might be open in a week or so. They said all the girls were in a bar on Soi 6 and paid for a motorbike to take me there (smart move on the owners part to pay for the bike ride!). Wow, I thought, Soi Yodsak keeps getting better and better! Well, it turned out to be on Soi 6/1 and not Soi Yodsak.

The bar was called Super Lady Place (who came up with that name?) and I didn't even know it existed before. It seemed nobody else did either as the place was nearly empty. All the Hot N Cold 2 girls were there and they were doing virtually the same show, although they only brought out 1 beer bottle for the Lesbian/beer bottle show (I guess they are toning things down?). The 2 girls that I had taken before (seperately many times and once as a very good doubleheader) took turns sitting with me in between the shows. Miss Showgirl looked great and so did Scar Girl (besides the scars she already had, now she has some fresh burn scars on her thighs for doing the pussy smoking cigarette show). I wonder if the Surgeon General has done any studies on the effects of second hand smoke from eating a pussy that smokes a pack a day?

They both wanted to go with me, but I wasn't keen on waiting until the shows finished at 1:30 (it was only 9:30 now). I asked for the mamasan and was informed that there wasn't one, but the waitress said she could help me. I asked about barfing both girls and wanted to know when they could leave. She went to consult the bartender and came back and told me after the last show at 1:30. "Can you wait?" I told her maybe, but probably I wouldn't be back as any other bar in town I can barfine a girl NOW. She went back and consulted again and came back and told me that I could take both girls now. The 2nd smart business decision tonight by this bar-wow am I in Thailand?! I paid 1000B for both girls fines and they ran off to change.

They were both quite happy to not have to do the shows for the next 4 hours. They were also eager to go to Xzyte Disco as I had taken them there last time. If you ever have a girl that you must have, and are a bit unsure if she wants to go with you, just say that you are going to Xzyte and ask if she wants to come. This is the new "in" place in Pattaya and if she says no, then she really, really, really doesn't like you. It was too early to go to Xztye, so Miss Showgirl wanted to go to Classroom 2000 to see some friends. It turns out that she worked there for 2 years before moving to Hot n Cold 2 (damn, and I thought she was fresh off the farm-LOL). It was old home week for her as she doesn't get to visit very often as she can't leave her bar until it closes usually. I sat with Scar Girl while Miss Showgirl said hello to all her friends and even danced on the stage with them (outclassing them all my a mile!). Many of the girls here "ratted me out" as this bar is on Soi 2 and I walk past it every night going to the hotel with my many different girls. No problem, as both girls were aware that I was a "big butterfly".

Some high-roller was sitting in one of the big booths and had at least a dozen girls sitting with him drinking. He rang the bell twice and the girls though he was jai dee mak mak. I though he was an idiot, but some might say that I was an idiot for barfining 2 girls and taking them bar hopping. I guess everyone has their own idea of fun and can spend their money whatever way makes them happy. After an hour here, we headed off to Xzyte.

Xzyte Disco is the newest, biggest, most lavish nightspot in town. It wasn't too packed when we got there at 11 pm, but it is more of a late night place I am sure. We got there just in time for the start of the show. They put on quite a show here with a cast of maybe 20 singers and dancers (the girls in the show are very, very hot and a couple of them are some of the best looking girls that I have ever seen).

I entered the men's toilet and there had to be 15 or so "restroom fags" there. These are the boys that massage your shoulders while you are trying to pee and hand you a towel to dry your hands, etc. Now, I have been in these situations before, but this was way, way over the top! All 15 of them sprang to full attention when I entered and 2 of them grabbed my hand to lead me to a urinal. Unfortunately, I needed to do more than pee, so they led me a stall. One of the little bastards entered it first and wiped down the seat for me and they other brought me my personal generous supply of TP. As one of them closed the door for me, I half expected that one would stay in the stall to wipe my ass! When I had finished my business, I opened the door and was greeted by one of them holding a cold wet towel. Then, I was led over to the sink, where one got me soap, another got me cold towels and hot towels and dry towels and wet towels (enough with the damn towels, I'm just washing my hands!). But that wasn't the worst part. While I was attempting to wash my hands, no less than 6 of these "toilet jockeys" were masssaging me! One did my neck, one of each of my arms, one on each of my legs, and the kicker.....one my butt! Help! Get me the fuck out of here! I think all 15 of them help there grubby little paws out for a tip. I gave one of them 20B and told them to share it and made my escape. Next time, I will endure much discomfort before venturing into that toilet again!

At about Midnight, the girls were ready to go to the hotel (that's a first, usually I have to drag them from the disco kicking and screaming!). As it turns out, I think they were just eager to hurry up and "get it over with". We got back to the hotel and we all took showers. Now, last time I took these girls as a team, it was a highly decadant experience, aided by copious amounts of alcohol. This time we were all sober and maybe that was the problem. They were both quite shy about doing "things" while the other girl was watching (yes these are the same girls that do one of the nastiest shows in Pattaya). I managed to have a bit of fun and even tried a couple of new tricks, but it was barely a step above having sex with a couple of blow-up dolls.

When we finished up a very long round 1, Miss Showgirl starts getting dressed because she had to "take key to friend". Gee, I've never heard that one before, is your mother sick too? She promised to return soon, but needed to be paid becasue she had to buy something. Too bad I didn't have any 500B notes as I could have given her half payment and given her some incentive to return. I gave her the 1000B and she gave me a big kiss and promised to be back soon (I knew I would never see her again). I jokingly told her that I would hold Scar Girl "hostage" until she returned. I think I was joking anyway. Scar Girl and I had a very nice time and the shyness was gone now that she was alone with me. After we finished, it was almost 3 am, so I let her go so I could sleep. Of course, Miss Showgirl never returned and I am sure will have an excuse ready for me when I see her next. I'll never take these 2 as a team again, and I doubt I'll go with either of them ever again. It was an overall enjoyable night, but with the right attitudes, it could have been "fabulous". We'll see what today brings. I still love Pattaya!

I decided to cut the holiday short and to make this my last day in Pattaya. It's OK being alone down here, but it's much better with friends, and there will be a few of us here next week it seems. Also, I want to attend the dance contest in BKK on Sunday and figure that it would be best to spend a couple of days with the GF before going on another "boys night out". Showing up after 4 days in Pattaya and then going out that night would not go over real well.

After lunch, I went for a traditional massage on Soi Yodsak (did I mention this is a fabulous street? Home to the best diddling bars and a great Thai massage place as well). Had a very nice and relaxing massage with an older gal that spoke no English. Well, almost none. As the massage was ending, she asked me in Thai if it was good and when I indicated that it was, she said "You tip me 200B!". I wonder who taught her that? I have never even heard the word tip mentioned in 100+ Thai massages. I consisered tipping nothing or maybe 20B or 40B to teach her a lesson, but the massage was good, so I gave the standard 100B.

Didn't see anybody decent outside King Kong, so I walked the gauntlet to the calls of "hello hansum man" and "come inside please, one drink". I stopped and inquired about my injured pussy girl from yesterday. At first, one girl said that she was inside, but then another quickly added that she was upstairs sleeping. Why can't they just tell the truth that she is upstairs sucking some guys dick? I relayed the message that I was going back to BKK in the morning and would have to see her next trip. Hopped a songtaew down to Soi Post Office.

I saw my regular gal outside Pump Station, so I went inside and sat and talked with her. She had just won the lottery the day before (10,000B I think she said), so I asked her why she wasn't taking the day off. She said she had plans for a big party after work with the other girls. I joked that she should buy me a drink since she was so rich. She said that she would, but I didn't let her. We soon went upstairs and I opted to pay 50B extra to use the room instead of the barstool. It was much, much more comfortable and easier for me to "have a good time". It did detract from from the decadance of the BJ bar experience, but part of that fun is having a few of your buddies in the barstools next to you anyway. F did call me midway through and while we conversed, and she didn't miss a stroke!

Afterwards, we relaxed downstairs and I joked and talked with her for over an hour. She pointed out a new girl that was a virgin and a bit on the "small" side. She did BJ's and you could also have the priviledge of being her first for a mere 20,000B. She had one offer already, but the guy was a bit creepy, so she declined. I would imagine anyone that would want to pay to $500 to de-virginize a young girl probably would have to be creepy, but who am I to judge? I bought a Pump Station t-shirt and paid my bill (800B including the t-shirt, 3 drinks and the tip-not bad for an afternoon of fun). Headed back to the hotel to shower and change for the nighttime activites. Miss Hurt Pussy must have got the message that I stopped by, becasue she called to say that she needed to see me "in one minute, not one week". I couldn't really get an answer out of her as to whether she was properly healed, so I told her "next week".

After dinner, I hit Happy a go go right as they opened at 8 pm to look for Miss Pink and was the only customer in the place for the 30 minutes that I was there. She wasn't there and I asked the mamasan who said she might be in at 9 or 10. I wasn't counting on that being true, so I stopped and had a drink at the Dollhouse during their Crazy Hour (drinks 30B). The Dollhouse was packed, maybe the Crazy Hour is a good business idea. A girl came and sat next to me without me even noticing her. She was quite good looking, but a bit hard core. No, strike that, she was as hard core as they come-4 big tattoos that I could see, including her name tattooed in Thai script across her breast, pierced eyebrow, nose, tongue, navel and god know what else! I made polite conversaton, but then ignored her until she went away. I gave her F's phone number and told her that he would be in town next week and would love to meet her-LOL.

I took notice of a girl dancing that had a real interesting look, almost looked Indian or Hispanic. She smiled at me everytime the revolving stage came around and when she finished dancing, she came right over and sat down. Well, she 19 and from Surin, not India and the more I looked at her the prettier I thought she was. We seemed to be getting along real well, so I inquired if she liked playing pool and going to discos and she responded very positively. I asked if she wanted to go with me and told her we could play pool as it was early (9 pm) and then go to Xzyte. She literally jumped with joy. She seemed a bit shy and claimed to have only worked 5 months, so I asked a question that I really hate to ask (can you smoke for me?). You notice that I asked her that after offering to take her to Xzyte and not before. I got a friendly yes, no problem and I paid the barfine and off we went.

I had also spotted # 72 on the stage and considered calling her over. She has one of the best looking bodies that I have ever seen and I was also informed by one of the girls that goods are real. She ended up sitting to a guy next to me, and as my girl was changing, she was milking him for her 3rd lady drink. I was thinking that I made the right choice.

We played pool at the 19th Hole across the street and she even beat me a few games (I hate snooker tables). Then, off to Xztye for the 2nd night in a row for me. Thankfully, they put on a totally different show and we both had a good time. I had made a point of using the hong nam before we left the pool hall as there's no way I am ever entering the one in Xzyte again! My girl needed to use the facilities and asked me for 20B. Holy crap, do they have lesbo toilet jockeys in the ladies hong nam? Well, she came back with of roll of Mentos, so maybe they have a 7-11 in there or something. At a bit past Midnight, we headed back to the hotel. The songtaew driver was a bit stubborn on agreeing to the 60B fare (this is what I have paid for all the trips both coming and going, so I knew what the standard fare was). On the way, my phone rings and it's my Soi Yodsak "hurt pussy" girl and she wants to see me tonight and says that I won't have to pay bar. I tell her that I'll have to see her next week and say goodbye. When the driver gets to Soi 2, he stops and refuses to drive down and drop us at the hotel, mumbling something about me being cheap with the fare. We got out and I took 3 20B notes and threw them in his window instead of politely handing them to him. He didn't like this too much and proceded to tell me to "fuck off". I have more problems with these bastards than everyone else in Thailand combined.

We get up to the room and after taking off her shoes, she sits on the bed and I start to kiss her. Or, I should say try to kiss her. She had her lips closed tight and obvioiusly wasn't enjoying it at all (was my breath that bad?). I ask her what was wrong and she replies that she can't kiss and has never kissed anyone before. Wait a minute, you'll suck my dick, but you won't kiss me? I tell her that we have a problem as I can't be with a girl that won't kiss. She looks like she might cry, so I tell her it's not a problem and I am not angry. We decide that it's best to just call the evening off and I tell her again that I am not angry and we can be friends, etc. She thanks me for the night out and gives me a very low and sincere wai and then puts her shoes on and leaves. I maybe should have given her "taxi money", but I figured I had already "wasted " about 1000B and she didn't ask, so I just let her go.

I call Miss Hurt Pussy back and she is very excited and says to meet her at Marine Disco at 2am. This is going to be a later night than I had planned, but at least I know this girl can kiss as we made out for a couple hours at her bar yesterday. I killed an hour on the internet and hopped a moto to Walking Street. Miss Hurt Pussy calls me as I am on the bike and I tell her I'll wait for her outside Marine. I arrive and have a seat in fornt of the Katoey bar by the escalators. What a great people watching spot! Walking Street was alive with late night action and watching the comings and goings outside Marine is facinating. The best was the Farang couple holding hands with their new Thai GF. I guess if you are going to be married to a white chick, it's nice to have one that enjoys bar girls too!

I wait about an hour and finally call her to find out where the hell she is. Her friend answers and tells me "she go Marine". I decided to go wander around Marine and it was packed. Plenty of great looking girls, but mostly the hard core variety that isn't really my type. After making a few rounds, I grab a seat near the door. In walks a girl that I know, Miss Pretty Girl (she is a very pretty girl, but wears way too much make-up). I tell her that I am waiting for someone, but it appears I have been stood up. She says that she needs to go talk to her friend and will be right back. She returns is a few minutes and we head out the door. I haven't seen her in a couple months and she says she has been back home as the bar is "boring" this time of year.

She is hungry, so we sit and eat in an outdoor cafe and then head to the hotel. While Miss Pretty Girl is showering, Miss Hurt Pussy calls and wants to see me now. I told her that I waited for her "long time" and it was too late now and I was sleeping and would "maybe" see her next week and hung up the phone. She called back about 5 more times, but I didn't answer. Then she sends me an SMS saying she is so sorry and likes me too much, etc. It's now 4 am and well past my usual bedtime, but I am happy to be with Miss Pretty Girl and we have a great time for a couple of hours before finally sleeping after 6 am. I offered to let her go home as I had to get up in a few hours to head back to BKK, but she wanted to stay.

In the morning, I get another SMS from Miss Hurt Pussy saying "don't be angry me please, I like you to mush, see you 1 week. Please Please Please". On the bus ride back to BKK, something happened that always irritates me and is one of the reasons that I will take a cab if there is at least 2 of us. The damn bus detours off the highway into Chonburi, through the town and all the traffic and stoplights to let 1 fucking person off! Probably only took an extra 15 minutes, but there were 50 passengers on the bus, so that 1 person wasted 12 hours of other peoples time. I guess if that's my biggest bitch, then as always.........

Life is good!

Ranger

[spirit_of_town_hall]

Another good report, "toilet jockeys" and I thought Tony's was bad

[robaus]

Keep it up, Ranger... in every sense of the word!

Enjoy your "tell it like it is" reports very much.

[Guest]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ranger:

she replies that she can't kiss and has never kissed anyone before. Wait a minute, you'll suck my dick, but you won't kiss me? I tell her that we have a problem as I can't be with a girl that won't kiss. She looks like she might cry, so I tell her it's not a problem and I am not angry. We decide that it's best to just call the evening off and I tell her again that I am not angry and we can be friends, etc.

---

A situation nicely handled

[Ranger]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Tgreamer:

A situation nicely handled

---

I can't say that I would have handled things this way a year ago, but I have mellowed a bit and learned to accept these little hiccups and move on. If the girl's not happy, it's not going to be any fun for either of us.

Ranger

[Guest]

Ranger,

Another fine report.You know,I sat up a bit sharp when you mentioned"yellow eyes",Ive see this loads of times and thought it might be a little weed or something else.

Can anyone confirm this is connected to hepatitis?

yours worryingly,

[shygye]

Ranger,

Does Xyzte have western or squat toilets?

[Ranger]

Western. If they had squat toilets, I might have let 2 of the boys come in the stall and make sure I didn't fall in!

Ranger

[Guest]

Great report as always Ranger!! When does the book come out??

[Ranger]

quote:

---

Originally posted by bangorbust:

Great report as always Ranger!! When does the book come out??

---

I thought that was the book!

Update:

"The Dollhouse was packed, maybe the Crazy Hour is a good business idea. A girl came and sat next to me without me even noticing her. She was quite good looking, but a bit hard core. No, strike that, she was as hard core as they come-4 big tattoos that I could see, including her name tattooed in Thai script across her breast, pierced eyebrow, nose, tongue, navel and god know what else! I made polite conversaton, but then ignored her until she went away."

This girl won the Nanapong dance contest at the Dollhouse tonight, and I turned her away!!!! aaarrrrggghhh!!!

Ranger