Mc Tavish of the Glen Chapter 3

[zob65]

Mc Tavish of the Glen Chapter 3 Thermae Coffee Lounge and the Children of the Dammed!

 

It was now 2.30 am, Laph confused and dishevelled entered the Thermae Coffee Lounge, with thoughts of a pot of tea or maybe something stronger, to wash down his mutton and pickle sandwich. Which had not weathered the journey to well , after been tipped out of the back pack twice, it had taken on the appearance of a old sand shoe with green stripes and most likely tasted the same!

 

As Laph?s eyes adjusted to the dark smoke filled room and noise slowly rose to a crescendo of shrieks and gabbling, all mixed in with some incoherent pop song chanting about ?one night in Bangkok?. Laph had thought he had landed on another planet. There was no coffee shop and not a shred of evidence about even getting a pot of tea.

 

In one instant he was startled by an old woman?s voice, who shrieked in his left ear, ?Durm Alai?! Then a strange deep woman?s voice, ?hello hansom man?!in his other ear. He turned one way to the drink lady then quickly back towards the deep voice of a tall woman, who resembled Agnes?s mum on bingo nights and in doing so he had collected a few shins with his hiking stick (with thistle design). There were numerous screeches of, ?eyiee jep maak?! Now he had several strange girls around him demanding a drink in compensation for the injuries suffered under the hand of Laph Mc Tavish.

 

Laph had tried to take charge of the situation, which was quickly turning into a major fracas, by stating, ?git away with ya, yer daft wenches, ya not be getting a penny out of me?! When he was saved by a strange thin chap, with teeth like a burnt picket fence, who was one of his country men. Doug Walker in no uncertain terms told all in sundry to go forth and fornicate, in others works ?fuck off the lot of ya?!

 

Doug led poor ole Laph and his luggage over to a corner of the lounge to a beer soaked table. Doug ordered a couple of Singa beers from the limping drink lady, and proceeded to calm this poor dishevelled Scotchman down. Who was babbling, swearing, waving his arms about, with spittle catching all in a yard radius.

 

Nok, Nak and Bee, were sitting near by watching with amusement, in fact the whole Thermae resembled a Meer Cat Colony with approaching danger! All girls? heads were craned towards Laph. Nok, Nak and Bee discussed the strange farang. Nok the most experienced lectured the group that this was a catch not to be missed. She pointed out tell tail signs of a ?green farang?, white skin, inappropriate clothing and look of bewilderment. The group grown by 2 or 3 and with gasps of ?jing lor? (really!) as Nok proudly re established her status of an experienced and knowledgeable Thermae girl by stating that a green farang and his money were easy parted.

 

?What about marring a green farang?? asked little Bee. ?Well that is a different set of tactics? explained Nok like foot ball coach. ?What need to do is, 1st get him away from any Bangkok experienced farang's, like Knun Doug over there? said Nok. ? We maybe already too late , if Knun Doug takes care of him , he will be a drunken butterfly before you can say, ?what?s your name, where you come from?! ?2nd step is to take him to the temple, sow the seed of you being a good girl? Nok exclaimed holding all the girls? eye. ?Then a day of shopping, showing how you get discount for him and don?t get greedy, slowly slowly you catch the monkey?! If he offers to buy you a present don?t head for the gold shop this will scare him off, choose some small cheap trinket, the gold will come later?. ?If he asked how come you speak English tell him you learn at high school?. ?But I learn from farang in the bar and never went the high school?! exclaimed Bee. ?Lie buffalo brains? said Nak sarcastically. Some of the girls were now searching through their bags for pen and paper to take notes. ?Next?, Nok said pointing her long brown finger at Bee, ?you take him up country, and no PUM PUM! ?He will then think you?re a borrisoot? (virgin). All the girls burst out laughing, Nak shouted, ?where you virgin Bee, here?! Pointing to her ear. ?Look who?s talking buffalo bum? Bee shouted back. Nok took charge again, ?thirdly you have to go again to temple and get the blessing from the monks. ?You can use this blessing later saying it was an engagement. ?Then suggest a holiday down south?. ?All the time get a little closer, from holding hands to a small joop (kiss), after one week he will be just about set lao (cum already) in his pants?! The girls all laughed and clapped their hands exclaiming ?good idea?!

 

?Now listen carefully you lings?, when you sleep with him, no ripping all the clothes off and riding him like a buffalo?! ?Or giving him a head job?! ?Otherwise the game is up?. ?I never do that, taste like old dim sim? said Nak. ?koh hok?! You are the queen of blow jobs Nak?! Laughed Bee. ?You will be the queen of black eyes if don?t shut up Bee?! Yelled Nak. ?Alright enough all ready? said Nok. ?Listen, go to bed with your clothes on, or at least in your shorts and T shirt with a towel wrapped around?. ?Let him work for it and act like it was your first time?. ?Tell him he is very big and it hurt nit noy , but feel good?. ?Don?t worry the sky rocket will probably go off before you can put it in the bottle?! Laughed Nok.

 

?After this treat him like your 1st husband and take care everything?. ?Now he will be acting like a small boy and you can make him do anything?. ?then get him out of Thailand as quick as you can. Tomorrow I teach you the art of letter writing for financial benefit? said Nok, sitting back with a satisfied look on her face. ?Dee Maak, good plan Knun Nok? said Bee and the girls.

 

Laph had calmed slightly after a few gingerly sips of Singa. Doug and Laph exchanged names and quickly realised who was who. Laph relieved that finally his luck may be on the way up meeting his contact by chance, although he would reserve this thought as his Thailand mentor was not what he expected and definitely not what he expected of a Quantity Surveyor from Professor Aardvarks class!

 

Doug was a 5?11? thin man who smoked and swore profusely. His appearance resembled a soi dog on hard times, but the main thing, he had saved Laph and had appeared to be a likeable chap. Doug had staggered off to the ?Hong Nam?, which gave Laph time to check his surroundings. In looking around the lounge, it was a sea of girl?s faces, some very pretty and some tables resembled the bar scene from Return of the Jedi! One thing was apparent, that all faces were looking at him. He felt very uneasy, as a chicken would wandering in to a convention of foxes, with main subject being, ?chicken hunting and its benefits?.

 

One particular table seemed to be very interested in him, he looked behind to see if they were looking at something else, but there was nothing. One girl on the table smiled at him, either that or she had wind! He felt a weird stirring in the loins, something he had not felt since Agnes grabbed him on the goolies by accident at the picture theatre. Poor Agnes was simply going for the ?liquorish allsorts? that Laph previously had between his legs on previous handfuls.

 

The girl was very beautiful, Laph thought as he stole glances. She was quite small and slim, dark with long black hair, small broad nose with pouting lips. Never had he seen something like this, let alone the very same smiling at him. His stirring thoughts were interrupted by Doug returning and slapping him on the back. Doug noticed his interest in Bee and called her over. Laph was shocked, and asked Doug what the hell he was doing. ?Relax Mc Tavish he said leave it all to me.

 

This was the first step to heaven or hell for Mc Tavish of the Glen

 

Till the next chapter???????..

[The_Munchmaster]

This Doug Walker character sounds familiar?