Julian2 Posted May 10, 2007 Report Share Posted May 10, 2007 10. Andy Kaufman You should worship him because he was an innovative song and dance man and Inter-Gender Wrestling Champion who consistently challenged the banal status quo by blurring the lines between humour, performance art and jackassery, before faking his own death and living the rest of his life as a seer in a Nepalese monastery. 9. Serge Gainsbourg You should worship him because he wrote a song featuring the sounds of female orgasm which was condemned by the Vatican, burned 500 francs to protest heavy taxation, offended Bob Marley by getting his wife to unwittingly sing explicit lyrics, recorded a reggae version of the French national anthem and told Whitney Houston he wanted to fuck her on live television. 8. Rosa Luxembourg You should worship her because she co-founded the Social Democratic Party of the Kingdom of Poland, declared "Freiheit ist immer die Freiheit des Andersdenkenden" (Freedom is always and exclusively freedom for the one who thinks differently) and fomented revolution in Germany in 1919 before being beaten to death with rifle butts and thrown into a nearby river. 7. Lev Nussimbaum a.k.a. Essad Bey a.k.a. Kurban Said You should worship him because he escaped the Russian Revolution in a camel caravan, wrote the national novel of Azerbaijan, pseudonymously managed to get on the Nazi list of "excellent books for German minds" and nearly married an Austrian baroness under the guise of a Muslim prince. 6. Lenny Bruce You should worship him because he influenced every no-bullshit comedian from Richard Pryor to George Carlin, was banned from Sydney, Australia for saying "What a fucking wonderful audience," wrote Hugh Hefner's autobiography, and was convicted on charges of obscenity only to receive the first posthumous pardon in New York state history. 5. Sabbatai Zevi You should worship him because he proclaimed himself the Jewish Messiah in 1665, sang coarse Spanish love-songs with a mystical bent, married a former prostitute, transformed former fasts into feast-days and was eventually made the Turkish sultan's doorkeeper before dying in obsurity in Albania. 4. Sammy Davis, Jr. You should worship him because he was a charter member of the Rat Pack, an Honorary Warlock in the Church of Satan, co-writer of the inspiring autobiography Yes I Can and an all-around consummate entertainer. 3. Groucho Marx You should worship him because he was a master of vaudeville, revolutionized absurdist comedy, led the small country of Freedonia to the heights of glory and reclaimed the good name Marx from the Communists. 2. Franz Kafka You should worship him because he was the first writer to express the profound alienation and absurdity of modern life, as well as the primordial fear of waking up one morning having been transformed into a giant insect. 1. Judas Iscariot You should worship him because if he was sent to Hell for his betrayal, which was necessary for the humanity-saving death of Jesus Christ, then Judas is in fact being punished for saving humanity even more severely than Jesus, who only had to suffer on the cross for a limited time before ascending to Heaven. Honourable Mentions: Emma Goldman, Hillel Slovak, Walter Benjamin, Sergei Eisenstein, Emin Bey (born Eduard Schnitzler), Harry Houdini, the Three Stooges Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashermac Posted May 10, 2007 Report Share Posted May 10, 2007 Jerry Lewis for being the biggest kosher ham in Hollywood? Mel Brooks for being Mel Brooks? Benjamin D'Israeli for having a cool name? Geraldo Rivera for making the rest of us seem normal? Heinz Kissinger for effing up SE Asia even more than it was? Slapsie Maxie Rosenbloom for being slapsie? p.s. Having had to read Kafka in the original German, there ain't no way I'll worship that SOB! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckwoww Posted May 10, 2007 Report Share Posted May 10, 2007 While we're looking at the flip side why not throw in Perle, Feith, Kristol and Wolfowitz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted May 10, 2007 Report Share Posted May 10, 2007 How about Whoopie Goldberg? hehehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colorwolf Posted May 10, 2007 Report Share Posted May 10, 2007 7. Lev Nussimbaum a.k.a. Essad Bey a.k.a. Kurban SaidYou should worship him because he escaped the Russian Revolution in a camel caravan, wrote the national novel of Azerbaijan, pseudonymously managed to get on the Nazi list of "excellent books for German minds" and nearly married an Austrian baroness under the guise of a Muslim prince. superb choice! bravo! do pick up a copy of tom reiss' excellent biography "the orientalist"...Lev Nussimbaum packed a handful of lives into less than 40 years... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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