carew66 Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Biergarten again - briefly Me and Kipster met again in Soi 4 and then strolled back towards Sukhumvit. We limboed between the police post and the lamp post, joined the throng waiting to cross the road and then chatted all the way to Soi 7 dodging the stalled tourists inspecting goods that they had no intention of buying. A quick left at ?Versaces? and then we homed in on the sound of ?Bad Moon Rising? to arrive at our table in the rear of the biergarten where Redbaron was waiting with Midnite Oil. Quick introductions were made and then, Bangkok style, we were straight onto the big stuff. It only took about ten minutes before a full-on discussion was on the go. Haltest arrived after about half an hour, straight from his job so he was in shirt ?n? tie order. This may have had something to do with the eventual group consensus that we go to Soi 33 for the ?happy hour?. I was easy about this suggestion but wasn?t Soi 33 the ?pricey? end of the bar market? Well, that didn?t matter. Was it going to be full of ?suits?? Again, no problem, but not really the kind of ambience that I was looking for. I?ve usually found that men in suits rarely party convincingly. I mean, look at wedding receptions. Or office parties. Arses on photocopiers anyone? Still, no big deal. I was exploring Bangkok in my own tin-pot way and if it was a load of old crap then there were plenty of alternatives. This ain?t Soho Dorothy. Soi 33 We ended up in a couple of places. I can clearly remember ?The Office?. Or was it ?Dalis?! Customer wise there was hardly anyone in there. It was horribly early though. I sat at the bar admiring the scenery and talking with Kip and Red. Midnite and Haltest were in a back room getting their arses whipped ? at pool. (Steady boys!) All in all a very civilised place. We are civilised people though ? or can?t you tell yet? The next venue was close by. I can?t remember the name of it. It was very similar to the first place I suppose. Here however, we were cajoled into leather settees (couches) by the guy managing the place and then we each joined by ladies. Oh, I didn?t like that. It?s a reaction against the London phenomenon known as ?Near Beer Joints? . For those unfamiliar with the pathetic square mile of ?sin-lite? known as Soho in Central London, a quick run-down for you all. Skip the stuff in italics if you want to stay with in Bangkok for the time-being. A tourist arrives in London. He looks for fun with ladies. He is then persuaded by a comely maiden in the doorway of a club to come on in and get his rocks off to a sex show. Sounds good so far doesn?t it?. Only about 5 pounds entry. Even better! So our mark goes through the door and then usually down the stairs into the basement club. So far so good. At some point the guys start to wonder what is happening. More drinks will have been consumed and still no form of entertainment has been forthcoming (of any description). Our chaps then decide to pay up and go looking for more fertile ground. When the bill arrives it will never be less than £300. Ever. Included in this will be a fee for the company of the ?hostess? and then outrageous pricing for the drink that they have consumed. As I said - £300 is a minimum amount. For a group then maybe a couple of grand might be the order of the day. Of course our mugs won?t have that much cash. No way. Not even between them all. And that is when things get nasty, as a gorilla in dinner suit or a shiny MA1 jacket appears and becomes somewhat threatening. What follows is either a mass emptying of wallets or, more commonly, a march up the stairs, into the street and then to a cash point where the money is extracted with menaces. Wake up at the back. Forget pissy ol? London and join us back at the leather settee place. Rusty and his g/f joined us there which is why we had stuck around so long. Once he?d arrived we weren?t going to disappear straight away. Despite my initial foreboding the rational part of my brain was doing its bit and telling me that we were in Soi 33 and not W1. And of course, there was no problem at all when we left. I never thought that there would be. It was just that reminder of rip-off situations in the West that was spoiling my fun. Midnite sort of summed it up for me when he commented, ?I felt as though I was being controlled in there. I like to take my time, look at the girls and then maybe buy a girl a drink. I don?t like the choosing done for me?. Which is fair comment. On the other hand, perhaps it?s the kind of scene that your actual stressed out executive really digs. After a hard day?s work juggling a few billion on the old shares perhaps he?s a bit too knackered to actually choose a girl himself. Too much like hard work eh? Each to their own anyway, but it really was time to move on. We paid the bill (I didn?t even break sweat) and hit the street. Final verdict: I liked the place . I?ll be back. We walked to Soi Cowboy. It was nice to stretch the legs and our party of six weaved its way back down Sukhumvit, nicely warmed up. We?d had the support act and now it was time for the main attraction. I?d hazard a guess that it was Dollhouse that we ended up in. Rusty and his missus sat on one of the bench seats at the rear and the rest of us arranged ourselves right by the stage and got neck-ache. I was having a whale of a time. We all were. It really was the best of times. If I could bottle that feeling then I?d have a big swig of it right now. I was flying. Fantastic. I left my position briefly to nip up to Rusty and say something really stupid and obvious like, ?This is fucking fantastic Rusty? . Never let it be said that I can?t express myself eloquently. In my defence, remember that all of this is still very new to me. It?s a sensory overload (cliche) but that?s what I?d travelled for. I didn?t want to examine any underpinning reasons or rationales behind the go-go scene, or go into the ?whys and wherefores? of the situation. I reckoned that I?d be better off leaving that to those more cerebrally inclined. In short ? I stopped thinking. And I enjoyed that as much as anything else. Have you ever tried organising a large-ish party of men and women into moving off and trying somewhere else? No? Well, don?t bother. It?s very hard work. There?s always someone who has just ordered yet another drink, then there is another wait whilst the check bin is sorted out, then another couple or five minutes whilst cigarettes are collected and put into pockets with the obligatory ?That?s my lighter?, ?No it isn?t?, and so on and so forth. When we had finally fought our way out into the street we all stood around in the middle of Soi Cowboy like a school trip waiting for the teacher to let them on the coach. Kipster was getting impatient at this point. He wanted decisions made ? and now. Not in half an hour. I felt the same. The trouble was in reaching a consensus on venues. Some wanted to make their way back to Biergarten at Soi 7, others had their own plans for the rest of the evening. Me? I was easy. Bring it on. Kipster and Carew in Cowboy The little group then split up with a very loose plan to meet up later (perhaps) in ?Angels? disco. Ah - Angels. Kipster and me stayed put in Soi Cowboy and embarked on a marathon session which involved trying to visit as many go-go?s as possible. We ducked in and out of the neon of Soi Cowboy, into bars that were dark, bars that were bright, bars full of people and bars where we were the only customers. Bars with live music, bars playing trashy Euro-disco (?Ketchup Song?? anybody?) We had at least one drink in every place. And here I have to put forward a defence. This little bar crawl was not two ?Brits? on the piss, slack of jaw and bereft of all good sense and politeness. Neither Kipster or myself are beer-bellied skinheads with xenophobic leanings. Neither are we (nor were we) people who would spoil your evening whilst we had our ?fun?. It doesn?t work like that and it never should. It?s a long time since I had myself a good session like the one we had that night. I might have been out of practice but it?s like riding a bike; you never forget how to. How to enjoy yourself without being a total pain in the arse ? it should be second nature. Even the most drink sodden brain must keep a Jiminy Cricket of consciousness awake at all times. Otherwise you are going to have trouble. I?ve seen it so many times before: lads on the piss upset somebody having a quiet drink and it all goes wrong. Voices are raised and sometimes even fists. That?s not fun for anybody concerned. Kipster and me are well beyond that stage. Speaking for myself it comes with experience. Get drunk ? just don?t be an asshole. It?s a tough trick for some folk to pull off. If you saw us that night then we probably didn?t even register on your radar screen. That?s just the way I like it. We had transcended a state of merely having ?a good time?. We were in absolute heaven. I can?t really overstate this. We were as high as kites, bouncing off each other with jokes, anecdotes and attitudes, songs and sentiment ? the whole nine yards - all lit with neon and with a soundtrack to die for, women to cry for, all on a humid evening in the Land of Smiles. Money in our pockets. Time on our hands. Magical. If you are familiar with the place called ?Afterskool? in Soi Cowboy then all I should say is, yes, we went in there and yes, we did end up in ?Naughty Boys Corner?. Now that was bizarre. I was trying to hold a conversation with Kipster whilst being somewhat?distracted. I couldn?t get any better could it? Could it? Hey Diddle-Diddle Another go-go was a bit ropey in that its glamour quotient was on the low side. However we did enjoy ourselves and had three girls sitting with us within minutes of our arrival. I had been wondering aloud to Kipster whether in fact the place was one of the ?diddling? establishments that I?d read about on the nanaplaza board. It was difficult to tell really. I don?t know what I expected ? a sign stating ? no diddling? might have helped me out, or even ?this bar welcomes careful diddlers?. I needn?t have worried though. After about 10 minutes of sitting in a booth across from Kipster I felt a hand creeping over my groin. (?Stop that, Kipster? I said ). This was enough for me to shout over to Kipster: ?Kip! You know the question that I was asking earlier?? ?Yeah?, said Kipster, ?you mean about the diddling thing?? ?That?s the one. Well, I can confirm that my suspicions were well founded. Game on? We stayed a little while longer in that place. I can?t remember what it was called but I could find it again. That?s the main thing. Is it just me and Kipster that employ a complex vocabulary of code when we are talking to each other in the presence of bar girls? One method is of course to talk really quickly but in addition we had a sort of rhyming slang for all sorts of things. For me, Viagra became ?American Waterfall? (rhymes with Niagara - geddit?) Not that I was much in need of a Vitamin V by this time. We left that saloon looking like gunslingers and went looking for more, more, more. Please don?t let the night come to an end. Not yet. Not ever. "...a little love and affection, whether I'm right or wrong" R.Williams 'Angels'. Of course by now we were well into the Third Act and we grabbed a cab at some point and went to Nana Disco. We received the Mark of Cain on the backs of our hands after paying our baht and entered the maelstrom. Situation normal. God I love this place. Now shouting and gesticulating to each other above the noise, Kipster and I embarked upon the ?circuit?. I managed half the circuit before I was clamped around my waist by a tiny girl who looked terribly like ?Gizmo? from my first ever visit. It wasn?t her but my memories were so good of that particular girl that I stuck with the grabber. I made my decision pretty quicky. She was cute and she seemed to be a little insane so I reckoned it was a good bet. I didn?t want to hang around too long. I didn?t want to get dead drunk as that is something I can manage in any pub in England. Myself and Gizmo II went out to the lounge at about 1.30 am whereupon she left her handbag and mobile phone with me and then disappeared! I was trapped. I couldn?t leave her gear just sitting there now could I? Shit. Bad move. Where had she gone? Of course she hadn?t gone far and soon scuttled back and wrapped herself (embarrassingly) around my neck. I spoke briefly with Redbaron ? Kipster was nowhere to be seen; probably still in the depths of the disco ? and took the tactile tilac back to the Dynasty. Interesting night. For a start Gizmo II was really enthusiastic. What she lacked in height she made up for in sheer energy. In fact she was a little too enthusiastic. Her idea of a blow-job seemed to be ?Suck harder ? pleasure better?. No ? it bloody hurts woman. Stop it. Oi! Pack it in! Ouch! She took the hint eventually, luckily before she sucked it off literally, but then proceeded to do a Bela Lugosi on my neck. I knew that the damage would be bad, but Jesus ? she made a right mess of my neck. I wasn?t too impressed by that either. Using a combination of sign language and tortured facial expressions I managed to communicate to her that there was no rush and if she just relaxed then we?d have a great time. I was right on this one and she seemed happy with the arrangement as well. The night ? what was left of it ? passed in a very pleasant fashion indeed. Oh yes. There isn?t a lot of furniture in a Dynasty room but what there is can be used quite imaginatively? In the morning the impish one had to leave. I had things to do ? I had to go to Pattaya for instance ? and after she had raced around the room screaming gleefully with her 1500 baht in one hand whilst babbling into the Nokia in the other she eventually whirlwinded along the corridor and out of my life. I inspected the damage in the mirror. ?Shit ? looks like polo shirts done up to the top for the next few days for me? I thought. Cheers Gizmo II. Love ya. See ya again maybe. Maybe. But first ? Pattaya. 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Guest Posted February 21, 2003 Report Share Posted February 21, 2003 carew, I can close my eyes and feel it. Its almost like being (in my mind) there. Most of use can relate to looking in that mirror in the morning. Oh my God!, is that really me, and what did I do last night? You stand there and wait for the answer, that never comes. Yes, now on to Pattaya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiery Jack Posted February 21, 2003 Report Share Posted February 21, 2003 THE MORNING-AFTER MIRROR SKETCH (as experienced by Yours Truly during umpteen BKK Tours of Duty). "Oh my God!, is that really me...?" Unfortunately, yes, though you don't look the same as you did 12 hours ago. Neither does the ugly Bargirl currently snoring loudly in your wrecked bed . She doesn't speak a word of English either, and you can't speak Thai, though you seem vaguely to remember having passionate, in-depth philosophical and political discussions with her in various bars last night after you'd downed a gallon of Singha and chased it down with half a dozen tequila slamers . (What was her bloody name again :: ?) "...and what did I do last night?" Hmm. Don't waste your time racking your brains: you really don't want to know the minute details . But you'll do it again tonight once you've turfed the clinging BG out, shat, showered, shaved, brushed your teeth, scraped the yellow fur off your tongue, and visited a friendly ATM to refill your empty wallet on your way to Soi 7 Beergarden in the sunshine, reborn for the umpteenth time . j :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khwaimaisabai Posted February 21, 2003 Report Share Posted February 21, 2003 Hi FJ, I met you when you were on a similar adventure to Carew in Soi Cowboy round Christmas / New Year time - I bet you don't remeber. You were - how should I say it - not on your first whiskey and coke. The best line from carew is "Money in our pocket and time on our hands". That's always a great feeling. Khwai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiery Jack Posted February 21, 2003 Report Share Posted February 21, 2003 Hi Khwai, "FJ... I met you when you were on a similar adventure to Carew in Soi Cowboy round Christmas / New Year time - I bet you don't remeber." Erm, yup, you win . Though I do remember being in various SC bars that night. Which one did I meet yourself in (was it Long Gun? the very tiny one with no pretty girls?), and what fantastically interesting deep philosophies was I expounding at that time of night? Give us a clue. It will all come back to me. Probably . "You were - how should I say it - not on your first whiskey and coke." Hmm. In fact, I probably was. It would have been the gallon of beer and half bottle of tequila that preceeded it that did the damage :: and rendered me temporarily flying without radar . "The best line from carew is "Money in our pocket and time on our hands". That's always a great feeling." I agree entirely, I agree entirely. I'm back in BKK in mid-April, pocket and hands at the ready . You there, Khwai? Maybe 'meet' again (or for the first time even, whatever...) . Mine's a large one. j Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khwaimaisabai Posted February 21, 2003 Report Share Posted February 21, 2003 Hi FJ, We met in the small bar with unattractive girls. I will be around in April so let me know when and where and we can meet up again. As far as I can recall, the deepest philosophy we got into was when I said I had mixed feelings about meeting other posters on the Board. Anonimity is one of its attractions. So far I have met four posters (including you) but none of them know me as kms here (including you). Khwai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiery Jack Posted February 21, 2003 Report Share Posted February 21, 2003 KMS, Yeah, the mist is clearing: I think I remember now... I'll be in BKK on and around April 18 (It's Friday, It's Woodstock... ). See 'Mid-April' thread in 'Meetings' section for gory details. Hope to catch up with you then. And I pledge to preserve your anonymity. Your secrets are safe with me . Cheers, j :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ultras67 Posted February 27, 2003 Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 nice one - which diddling bar was it ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carew66 Posted February 27, 2003 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2003 That's the thng - I never look a the names at all. It was the same side of the road as Tilac and Afterskool. Darkish place. Small stage. Booths. It was all rather confusing at the time! I'll check it again in a couple of months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chilli13 Posted March 1, 2003 Report Share Posted March 1, 2003 doesn't ring a bell to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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