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Red's Virgin Trip Report - 2000

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After reading, and being entertained by so many others' trip reports, and stories. Thought I'd write a bit about my first trip. With 2 weeks before my next trip, it's given me something to kill the time, hope you like it. Be warned - no sex reports here.

This was in late 2000. I was 28 at the time. It was my first overseas trip.... unless you count Tassie.

 

RED'S VIRGIN TRIP - 2000

 

"Thailand? You're joking aren't you? I'm not really into ping pong balls flying all over the place. I told you, I just want to go somewhere hot, with a nice beach for a couple of weeks... break up the flight."

The travel agent had just suggested Thailand as a stopover on my way to see some friends in London. The original idea was to fly in one big slog. Option 1 was with Lauda Air. 40+ hours Melbourne to London. No Thanks.. Option 2 was Air Lanka but it'd still be over 20 hours flying time, plus a layover in Colombo. When Steph had suggested the Land of Smiles as a stop over, I though what every expert who's never been thinks. "Patpong PingPong."

 

The cheap flight, along with some reassurance the beaches would be worth it convinced me. Although when the lads found out there was the occasional grin. Comments varied from, "You'll love it!" with a wink, to "You dirty pig." which usually preceeded a lecture about dirty old men, AIDS and the fact that I was too young to start looking for a mail order bride equivalent.

Steph had convinced me I'd love the place, especially as I just wanted to recharge the batteries a bit, after being through a bit of a rough time at home. As we all do. Plus any decision which causes this much criticism as well as winks, nudges and "Go for it"s, must be worth a look.

 

"Welcome to Thailand." I'll never forget those words. Or the person who said them. The Air Steward who had worded me up on all the places I should see, avoid and try. He was what the British would call, "an alright geezer." See I was stuck next to an old, and conversationless couple all the way to Don Muang. The plus side, was that we sat in the exit aisle, heaps of legroom, opposite some of the crew, and this bloke was a similar age to me, and a great laugh.

 

Somehow I made my way to the hotel. Somehow I didn't pay a ridiculous fare either. I thought the 20 or 30B tollway fee was reasonable, and for some reason the driver didn't try to take me for a dodgy massage, gemsale, or pussy show. Not even a good tailor was recommended. Was I in the right place?

"New Hotel" or something was the place to be. Not a bad little place. I'd booked a 2 week tour thingy, since my travel partner had to cancel at the last minute, and I was a bit wary of trying to tackle Siam without any backup. In hindsight, I probably could have done a lot worse on this tour. They are usually full of the Khao Sarn Road types who seem to only want to see how cheaply they can have a holiday, or students who never seem to have enough money. Thankfully our group had none of these types. I wasn't even the oldest.

 

We all met up that night. 9 of us. Me, another Aussie single bloke, two nurses travelling together, an Aussie couple, another English girl -teacher, and the guide. The guide suggested we all go out for dinner, to get to know each other, followed by a look around Bangkok at night. I can't remember which options he presented to us, but Ange, the English nurse who looked like Britany Spears, voted first for Patpong. I though... my kinda girl. We ended up having a great night. I hit it off with the nurses, and the couple. We all ended up drunk (what is it about Aussies, Brits and Irish when they get together?) The other Aussie guy (bit of a square) latched onto the English teacher - who always seemed to complain. (So far, the only example I've met of the "whinging pom" stereotype.) The only downside, was I had to share a room with the Aussie bloke, one of the nurses would have been much nicer!

 

The first 10 days of the trip, I'm sure you can imagine, was the usual tourist traps. Temples, sights, scenery, beaches, all that stuff I won't bore you with. Until we came to Samui - my first encounter with a Katoey... read on.

 

Our guide, Kit, was an absolute champion, and had steered us in the right directions from day one. He even got us onto that concoction of SangSom, Coke and Lipo. Whoever seemed to be "on it" (Me, the nurses, the couple and the guide at least 20 hours a day), had a fantastic time... The others didn't seem to fit in - and they were more interested in saving 50B on an elephant ride, than enjoying themselves. Strange, as they were both in their 30's, and didn't seem short of a satang. Up to them I suppose.

 

On our final night in Samui, we hit the Green Mango Bar. It was huge. We were all (almost) drunk, having a fantastic time, I was even seen dancing on the stage. Everything was perfect, I was even looking like I was in with at least one of the nurses. Then one went home.... and the other followed shortly. I was left with a few people we'd met along the way. Dancing in a group, one girl starts dancing real close to me. It was dark, maybe she thought I was someone else, but I wasn't complaining. She felt nice. 6am, the lights come on - wow, she's beautiful.. didn't realise she was Thai. Still, looks fantastic. Maybe P4P's not so bad afterall. What the heck - I jump in headfirst and invite her back to the bungalow - fuck my room mate.

 

"Red... we've been trying to let you know, just in case... That's not a bird, it's a bloke!" one of our new friends advises me. "Nothing wrong with that, but you don't strike me as the type - you know."

"You're joking! Next you're going to tell me Candy's not her real name!"

"Oh, you do know.. As they say down here. Up to you!"

"I'll check, but I doubt she's a he."

 

I learnt fast back then, made my excuses and left, only - where the fuck were the bungalows? I knew it was on the beach, so followed a lane with a sign saying "To the beach". Guess who followed? Grabbed little Red, and started kissing me passionately. In all honesty, I have never met a better kisser - before or since - but a bloke's a bloke right? After explaining the "No Guests" policy, she made blowjob signs... I ran. I know, weak aren't I? But I ran, and ran, and ran. Found my bungalow on the beach, somehow.

 

3 hours later it was time to wake up, and leave this island after breakfast... 3 hours. In that time, not just the whole group of bungalows, but the whole BEACH had heard about the "boy with the funny hair" and the katoey. Instant celebrity status.

 

Rai Ley beach was the next stop, via the omnipresent longtail boats. All I can say about this place is... fantastic. I'll never forget spending a night with one of the nurses, gazing at the stars and the huge rock foramtion until the sun came up. One of my fondest memories of that first trip, even if we did scare ourselves silly at some point while stumbling through the caves on our way back to the bungalows as the lights came on in the restaurants ready for breakfast. Special.

That day was our last together. The group split in two. Others were to head overland down to Malaysia and Singapore. Our guide, myself and another were to head back to Bangkok. It was a teary farewell, but I'm glad to say I'm still in contact with the nurses, and we did end up having a few fantastic nights in London, and Melbourne.

 

Bangkok was pretty low key. A few days of relaxation, shopping and a bit of Patpong and KSR. Spent a night in Patpong in a 'normal' bar, where there was a Thai trio singing all kinds of songs. Apparently I got drunk enough to do a few Elvis numbers myself, much to the delight of the Thai and farang audience. Believe it or not, I didn't even enter a gogo.

 

KSR was fantastic. It was my last day, and a fake student card was on my list of things to get, thanks to a bit of advice from someone who knew Bangkok like the back of his hand. It turned out after doing all the things I needed to, I still had 8 hours before my flight, and the hotel was looking after my bags until my return. Spent the afternoon in a KSR bar, watching a movie and downing a few cold ones with a fantastic bunch of lads. Witnessed some goose try to steal an Irish guys bag, only to be thwarted by one of my drinking partners... Didn't scare him off though, he proceeded to explain he was a theif. Nothing personal, you see, it was just what he did. A handful of passports, travellers cheques and credit cards was produced in an attempt to explain it was just what he did. This guy was blind drunk, and not winning any friends. He left soon after the big Irishman explained he knew a thing or two about boxing. Was a good talking point though and when he returned with an open bottle of beer, his attempt to make ammends didn't go down too well, as the boys in brown took him away.

 

After that, several beers later - it was time to head to old Blighty. Thailand had grown on me, and I was glad I would be dropping in again on my way home.

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Redbaron said:

I learnt fast back then, made my excuses and left, only - where the fuck were the bungalows? I knew it was on the beach, so followed a lane with a sign saying "To the beach". Guess who followed? Grabbed little Red, and started kissing me passionately. In all honesty, I have never met a better kisser - before or since - but a bloke's a bloke right? After explaining the "No Guests" policy, she made blowjob signs... I ran. I know, weak aren't I? But I ran, and ran, and ran. Found my bungalow on the beach, somehow.

 

Hang on a tick...the story i heard was that you bent him over the handlebars of someones bike and gave him one up the clacker without a condom. : :nono:dunno: :shhh:

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