Buddy, the Thai Guy Neighbor in Surin-part 7

[Central Scrutinizer]

Buddy the Thai Guy Neighbor in Surin-part 7

 

 

Some Observations and Stories on Middle Class Thai Men

 

 

 

 

Now, I did get to spend quite a few evenings with the neighborhood Thai guys, and certainly many hours talking to Oak and the others. I made a habit of spending an hour or two each evening before bed. I found out over the next few weeks, from being told so, and through my own observations and queries, that Oak, like Buddy, was an alcoholic. Worse than Buddy though, who drank beer (Leo, his favorite) and decent Thai and farang whiskies at least, Oak was a Lao Khao addict. This booze is the absolute worst in my humble alcohol imbibing opinion and expertise, and seems to cause a fairly rapid decline in the well being, health, and mental acuity of those who succumb to it's cheap influence. You can buy a bottle of it for fairly little baht, around 70 baht a bottle now-a-days if my memory serves me correct at the moment. Cheap enough if one desires it's brain rotting effects. But Oak rarely bought a bottle. He bought a dram for around 20 baht, and kept it in his little brown glass power drink vitamin flask in his top pocket. Once in a while I'd share my beer Chang with him, pouring him a glass to sip on while he drank the foul concoction he was addicted to. I did this with everyone usually, not just Oak. Thai men are very generous with their beers from what I've seen over the years, as long as you are generous in return at least. Most will fill your glass from their bottle when they see you are getting low with brew, and sharing is common of most things, food and drink especially so. Food is always being offered around the table from everyone's own dishes and plates of victuals, and the same is done with a bottle of Jack Daniels, or Johnnie Walker Black or Red, Black being the preferred of the two JW whiskies. Women seem to prefer the JW Red I've noticed, whether due to the lower cost or the flavor I haven't discerned as of yet.

 

It was a pleasant way to while away a couple hours at night before going in to watch a movie or TV show and off to bed later. I learned a lot, mostly language and cultural things, but also learned what I wanted and needed most, a lot about the personalities of my immediate neighbors.

 

Oak's story was a bit puzzling to me, not so much sad, as one that would make a normal hard working, intelligent and responsible person, (not that I am any of these myself really), farang or Thai I'd suspect, a bit disgusted and put off by it. This feeling was borne out by the way Oak was treated by these working class Thai guys of his neighborhood. Oak was basically a nice guy, but a wastrel. The story I eventually learned, bit by bit, was this. Oak once had a good job. He also had a girlfriend he "loved too much". The girlfriend ended up dumping him and running off with another guy. This broke Oak's heart. He told me as much himself one night. Since then Oak has been drunk nearly every day. It wasn't long before he lost his good job, his apartment, and everything he owned. He moved in with his mother and father. This didn't really help Oak, as his mother and father took care of him, and even provided him with the money he used to get drunk with every day. He'd become a mangda, using his mother to protect him from his father's wrath, and living off their loving charity, well meaning, but destructive in it's own way. His father died a couple years ago, and, like a loving parent, bequeathed to Oak the sum of 200,000 baht. His mother has the money stashed away, and doles it out to him daily, a hundred baht a day. So this is what Oak lives on. It's enough to buy his occasional cigarette or two a few times a day, and a couple of the small dollops of Lao Khao he drinks every night. I suspect he saves some baht from this daily allowance, as maybe once a week, usually a Friday or Saturday evening, he seems to have enough baht to buy one full bottle of Lao Khao, which he proceeds to get nearly falling down drunk on. This when he gets his ass in trouble usually around the neighborhood, and with the neighborhood people. This is when his behaviour changes too. He can turn into a nasty foul mouthed drunk when he goes over his usual daily Lao Khao allotment. It's sad to see him when he is like this. He truly is a nice, funny, intelligent, pleasant and easy to get along with fellow. A competent guitarist and singer. Hell, he seems to have a better grasp of local and world politics and world news than most Thais I've met. He's smart, and interested in world events. He needs rehab. Without his mother's care I doubt he'd be alive long after getting his hands on his inheritance. His mother makes sure he eats right every day. He is always well dressed and clean, in clean clothes. But, her care is actually enabling his alcoholism, and making it worse. It's hard, I know. I have kids of my own. It would be tough to toss them out on their ass if they were the same with the same problems. He needs tough love though, and yep, it might kill him, or, in reality, he'd kill himself, drinking himself to death and becoming a stumble bum drunk living on the street. Myself, I'd take his inherited money and get his ass in rehab if he was my child.

 

His mother is a bit of a character in the neighborhood herself. She dresses in the "good luck" colors of the day usually, and is rarely seen without her colorful parasols to protect her from the rays of the powerful tropical sunshine. She's a perky old biddy, and commands the respect of the neighborhood people. She's a retired ajarn (teacher) from the local high school. She brooks no insolence or nonsense around her, and has a sharp tongue. With Oak she can be very mean and brutal in her treatment of him when he is drunk, and sasses her back, when she comes to collect him from the shop where ever he is drinking. I've seen her whip him with a stout stick she carries at night with her, I presume just for this express purpose of disciplining Oak when he is in his cups. She did this a couple times in my presence, much to my dismay, as I don't think it necessary nor the correct thing to do, at least in public anyway. I told the wife to tell her I don't like her doing this in our shop, privately and discretely. She was none to happy to be told this, but she never did it again, around me at least. It was an embarassing thing to witness, and I'll not tolerate this sort of stuff around me. I was the recipient of such abuse from other old biddies, called Nuns. I don't agree with corporal punishment. She's not as friendly around me as she used to be since my wife told her this. I really couldn't give a fuck. She ain't beating the guy like a dog in front of me, dammit. Drunk or not. Fuckin' old witch.

 

Her treatment of him in public causes him to lose much face in front of the other men of the neighborhood. And, it shows in their actions toward him by most, if not all, of the fellows there. The Thai men show no respect toward Oak at all. Some treat him kindly. Some treat him with disdain and contempt. I've seen some interactions that have had me wondering if there aren't some homosexual/bi-sexual components involved in some of these interactions as well. I can't really articulate my feelings and senses on this yet, as there are some strange Thai male behaviours I haven't quite worked out yet. I will say that I do believe that Thai males may have a higher incidence of bisexual behaviour in the general population, an undercurrent I've felt at times let's call it, than the farang male populations I've lived in and experienced in other parts of the world. I've heard this expressed before by Thai men as sampling a different flavor on occasion, and I do believe it may have something to do with the prevelence of Katoeys in the population, and their unique, to most farang I've known at least, position in the Thai culture. How this works out I've no idea, "which" drives "what" I've not figured out as of yet, in otherwords, if this higher percentage I percieve of bisexual males is due to a cultural acceptance of this behaviour, at least an unspoken acceptance of men likely to dabble at times in homosexual behaviour, or if there is truly a higher percentage of homosexuals/bisexuals in the population itself that drives it toward a more acceptable and more open acceptance of the behaviour and or openly gay and katoey in society. I know there is discrimination toward gays by some Thai men. I've seen it a few times during my time there. But then in other places and other times the gays and katoeys (transvestites if you will) seem to be accepted fully, and treated very well without prejudice or discrimination I might add, into the village and families, fully, without much problems. The position of katoeys in the Thai society is a strange one. Much more open and involved in the culture and society, as seen by their being openly flaunting their "sexuality", than in most western societies. Although the west, at least the states lately, seem to be gaining and catching up in this same respect as the Thais already sem to have done for the most part that I've seen. It's weird though at times to see the way Thai men behave toward this. I really haven't figured it all out yet. I just know that I don't give a damn what two consenting adults do behind closed doors. It doesn't involve me. I figure it just leaves more women for us straight guys. In Thailand though there seems to be more of a blurry line, a sometimes less definitive structure to all this sexual stuff. In my opinion anyways, from what I've noticed. Like I say though, it's hard to pinpoint at times and explain in words.

 

I do see at times that Oak is treated badly and berated by others in the neighborhood, not just his Mum. I myself treat him with the respect and dignity I believe we all should be treated with. The same respect and dignity I'd want to be treated with myself. Oak's a decent sort. He just has problems. No need to look down on him. We all have our problems and demons of one sort or another to contend with. This is also why I have no real like for Buddy/Turt, and could never be friends with him. He takes advantage of Oak's position in the neighborhood society, and treats the man poorly, with contempt. It's undignified and beneath him, and truly shows me his true character. He's a petty, cruel, little wimp of a man, lording his position and status over this poor drunken wreck of a soul. I've seen what I believe to be cruel treatment of others of a lower status by Thai people, men and women, during my times there. To me it sets in my mind, and I know by their behaviour how I see these sorts. There are assholes in all peoples and cultures. Thailand has it's share, no more, no less, than my own people. I'm always happy when they show themselves for what they are. It makes it easier for me to spot them, and to avoid them. Cruel nasty cunts people can be sometimes. Makes one wonder how they got that way to begin with.

 

I have been amazed at times some of the things I've heard Thais say about each other, right to the other person's face, in public. Things you'd rarely hear in farangland expressed so openly and without any seeming regard for the other person's feelings. It's mind boggling at times. I wonder how much is the culture that maybe I am missing. Where I am from it is just plain rudeness and mean-ness to speak in such a manner, and usually only done in anger. But I've seen Thais say things that in farangland, at least MY part of farangland, would cause some serious repercussions, yet here it is tolerated usually, from my experience. It basically usually seems a class thing. The percieved "higher status" person being able to get away unscathed when mistreating a percieved "lower status" person.

 

And yes, I've noticed some sneers, and giggles, and snickering grins and words exchanged behind palms from a couple of these ignorant fuckers when I treat Oak respectfully. Luckily these twats are a distinct minority. I'm not obtuse and blind though. Thier actions and reactions are remembered and noted, by me.

 

Alcohol does play a large role in the life of most Thais I've seen. It's the "drug of choice". A large percentage of the men seem to drink almost daily to one extent or another, not all, but a large percent. I'd say around fifty to sixty percent. There do seem to be quite a few with drinking problems, or at least with high capacities for alcohol. In almost very Thai family I know, and I know a lot now, there is usually one family member who has problems with their drinking, or their behaviour when drinking. For a Buddhist society alcohol seems to play a large role in social interactions, and a lot of the problems in the society I'd be willing to bet have their roots in alcohol abuse and alcoholism. As is so in most other countries where alcohol threads throughout a large part in the fabric of its culture. Oh, I know a lot of Thai men and women who don't drink at all, they just are outnumberd by those that do drink from my experiences there.

 

As I do have a toddy now and again I fit right in I guess. Problem is I don't really care to drink nightly any more. Haven't for years. Even just one or two. Having the neighborhood guys and gals drinking in your shop right across from the house can be a bit of a pain, as everyone wants to buy the farang a beer it seems. Ah, the things I must go through and endure living in Thailand with my Thai wife and family. My poor liver. Who's got the next round?

 

Oak was later banned from the new shop after it was only a couple weeks open. Seems he got drunk and made disparaging remarks to the openly gay Bank Manager who lives down the road while everyone was sitting around drinking their beers and chatting one evening. (I was out at the time and not around.) Caused quite the ruckus he did. He was driven from the shop in shame, and told by Sis never to darken the door again for this rude behaviour. Drunk or not.

 

Next up I'll talk about a few of the other gents in the neighborhood. One in particular is a funny old bugger. Always going on about his killing the Viet Cong during the war. In vivid detail.

 

(To be continued)

 

 

 

 

 

Cent

(The Central Scrutinizer)

 

 

[sayjann]

as always,a great read.....

[Central Scrutinizer]

Sayjann,

 

Thanks. Nice to hear. I'm stuck here in the states at the moment. Should be back in Surin soon.

 

Cent

[sayjann]

keep away from my good friend in Surin.

i would hate for her to be corrupted..... ::

[Central Scrutinizer]

SJ,

 

Hell, my corruptive influence is felt far and wide in Isaan! Where's she staying there, and what's she doing? Is she working up there? Or just staying at home waiting for you to return? Want me to check up on her for you when I get back? :hubba:

 

Cent

[sayjann]

Ha Ha Ha.

don't really know much about her anymore.

met her on my first trip almost 4 Years ago and she has returned to Surin to be with her Family(so she tells me).

we have kept in touch and we mail each other every week and i get photos sent by her.

but how am i to know if she is really in Surin?.

 

but on my last trip 2 Years later i met her Sister and enjoyed the pleasure of taking her home a couple of nights.

would have been good to have them both at the same time... :hubba:

[MaiLuk]

Great stuff Mr Cent

 

>>This is also why I have no real like for Buddy/Turt, and could never be friends with him. He takes advantage of Oak's position in the neighborhood society, and treats the man poorly, with contempt. It's undignified and beneath him, and truly shows me his true character. He's a petty, cruel, little wimp of a man, lording his position and status over this poor drunken wreck of a soul.<<

 

This sort of thing gets me riled up also. See it so much here in farangland, makes me think its part of human nature.

 

>>Johnnie Walker Black or Red, Black being the preferred of the two JW whiskies. Women seem to prefer the JW Red I've noticed,<<

 

Just goes to show the ladies don't always wisely choose the older more refined fellows :: ::

 

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